Fear

Two young girls who decide to over come there fears, but one ends up dying and the other develops a eating disorder and depression. The girl who doesn't die, her parents split up and her mum turns into a drunk, so the girl is took in by her therapist and gets very ill so is taken into a mental home. The girl has stopped talking and just stares into space. Most doctors have tried to help but they have had no success but one doctor, her farther. The girl blames herself for what happened to her friend and at the end she dies of starvation and just before she dies she sees her friend who died at the beginning and then she dies with her farther by her side.

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2. our life

Chapter 2

 

It was November, 2000 when me and Jenny first met in nursery. I was crying the first day and she came over to me and rubbed me on the back and said,

"it's okay now I have rubbed you better," and from then on we grew closer and closer. The next thing I remembered was nursery day two, Jenny came in without a jacket on, I think she forgot it so I lent her mine, it was striped; gray, blue, yellow and lime. Inseparable. That's what me and Jenny were. Nursery, day three. We was playing with the building blocks and Jenny thought it would be a good idea if we had a building block fight, I knew it was a bad idea and yet I said yes.

 

Nursery, day twenty. We was familiar with our surrounding by then, the off yellow walls, the butterflies in the window (we worked out in day ten that they weren't real) and the games we had played a million times but couldn't seem to stop playing. It was raining this day, I remember the dull days of winter, always raining, clouds as black as the night sky and we couldn't go outside, that's were all the good games were. So me and Jenny decide to play hide and seek, there was loads of places to hide. It was a old building you see so there was loads of cracks in the walls just big enough to house a four year old, three inched girl who was pretty skinny. It took Jenny ages to find me, I had to jump out on her, you should of seen her face, it was funny.

 

After nursery we were that inseparable that our parents let us go to the same primary school, St. Joseph's.

 

In year five we had the best time, our teacher, Mrs. Johnston was a push over. She let us play games, sit off in lessons (Sit off - A time when a teacher lets his or her class do what they want) and have competitions. I was always the popular one and Jenny, she liked to sit in the background. She wasn't one of those people who had to be the centre of attention all the time, or one who had to have the latest clothes, she was just Jenny. I admired her for that, but of course would never tell her.

 

In year six, I started to get in a bit of trouble with my teachers, the police and my mum. Jenny and I think everyone thought it was because my dad left.

 

One thing you should know about my mum is she's tough for a women and I have never seen her cry, until a day I wasn't expecting. I was at school I was just about to break up for the Easter  holidays, it was the mid-year six warning, reminding us about our end of year test that would follow us into year seven. I was in maths and I was took out of the lesson by a young women, average height, skinny with brown hair and  blue eyes. She requested I went down to reception immediately. At first I was thrilled, overjoyed. I walked out of the school building and saw my mum bent over the steering wheel. I got in the car and before I could say hi her foot slammed on the pedal, we were speeding. When we got home my mum ran into her bedroom and lay on her bed. I thought it was strange. I went to see if she was okay. Silence and under her breath she said " he's left." She cried and cried. I couldn't stand the sound, I felt her pain grow more and more with every tear she shed.

 

About a hour after my mum stopped crying my dad came to pick the rest of his stuff up. My mum told me to go to my room. I heard glasses breaking and ear damaging yelling, I ran down stairs tears dripping from my chin. I tried to tell my dad, that mum didn't mean the horrid things she said, but he wasn't having any of it. They fought about money, me and my future. My mum supported me, in my quest to become a superstar, were as my dad, well he didn't approve. I thought home was the one place I could hide from all the cruel thing out in the world. I felt like my home had been infected, and it's survival rate was growing slimmer and slimmer, every minute someone didn't operate. My biggest fear was never seeing him again. He told me he loved me more than the universe, and then he left.

 

Once he had left me and my mum calmed down. I think she felt a little embarrassed because I just witnessed her loose a battle she was so desperate to win. She let jenny come round for tea.

 

By year seven I stopped getting into trouble and realised life in high school was a whole different kettle of fish (I never really understood what that phrase meant) the people were different, the teachers were different. When we first got our time tables, me and Jenny were in all the same lessons. My favourites were English and P.E, I liked English because we got to write a lot of stories, I love writing stories because I have a good imagination and my idea's are like no other. I also like P.E because I'm good at most sport  and enjoy playing them. My worst subject was probably History and Maths, I hated them, my teachers were horrible and I just couldn't get my head around what was going on. Jenny's favourite lessons were Science and French. She liked them because she was good at them and kept getting better.

 

In year eight nothing really changed, I made new friends but me and Jenny were still like sisters. I have to admit my year seven teachers were much nicer then my year eight ones. I think because we was getting older they were more strict.

 

Year nine, work got harder, started GCSE's in most subjects and we picked our options. Me and Jenny both picked ICT and Drama, alongside History and French. Year nine English was pretty much the same as year seven because I had the same teacher, Miss. Goode, who this year insists on calling me by the wrong name, but I think she just does it to get on my nerves, and trust me it works. She also had a weird obsession with Michael Jackson, at random times in the day she would just start singing beat it and TRY to copy  Michael Jackson's dance moves (many people say there can only be one King of Pop, and that's defiantly  true)  but other than that she's alright.

 

A quarter into year nine is when I started to eat less, less and less. My Nan, Jean, was the best Nan in the world and decided it was time to get help, a therapist.  Seeing the models, actresses and Broadway starts all in sizes zero to eight, made me think that because I was a size fourteen I could never achieve my dream. Every day was a war against my mirror. I couldn't take the person staring back at me. I was becoming a hazard to myself, my own worst enemy. I started throwing up, making myself vomit. When I was twelve people that stuck two figures down their throat just to be skinnier discussed me, I thought they were vile and over a course of three weeks I became one of them. I discussed myself, but I couldn't stop, I was losing weight like there was no tomorrow, that's when I realised I had a eating disorder.

 

After the Christmas holidays I had stopped eating entirely, I felt week most days, tired everyday and fainted once or twice in school and at home. People started looking at me differently, like I was some sort of alien from outer space. Within a few weeks I could hardly stand up, I was shaking from head to toe and it took me nine minutes to walk to a lesson, when it used to take just three to four minutes. I started to get grumpy and had to stay of school for two days each week. I don't think my mum even noticed how ill I was. By this time I had lost nearly two and a half stone and dropped from a size fourteen to a eight. I had dry skin and hair and felt I needed to lose more weight even though I had reached my goal size. Jenny knew something was up but didn't say anything. I had become distant from everyone and everything. All that entered my system was water and on occasion a grape or two. Easter came back around and nobody would talk to me, except Jenny. My teachers started ignoring me.

 

One teacher in particular, my P.E teacher, Miss. Davis. I think it was because I never did P.E, never had my kit and never did anything to help, but every time she seen me she wouldn't acknowledge me, her head would drop or her brown eyes would avert to some picture on the wall, she sometimes would pretend to take a phone call. Sympathy oozed from every aspect of her body, revealing her true feelings towards me. I used to look up to her, she was a inspiration. She taught me not to just  follow my dreams but demand they come true, not just to reach for what I deserve, but for everything I could possible grab on to. It was like I didn't exist anymore. Gone. Shifted into a parallel universe.

 

I decided I needed help, so I went to my P.E teacher first, but she didn't have the time to talk, everywhere I looked she was nowhere to be found, at first I thought she was busy, until I seen her hiding in the corner of the staff room as Miss. Kelly told me she wasn't there. She knew I had seen her and tried to apologise, but looked away as she said it. I decided to put my head down and let sadness over come me just this once. My mouth was to week to say anything except okay. My broken body hobbled down the hall, waiting for her to come out the room and have the guts to say sorry to my face. It never happened. My eyes made pools down the corridor as Jenny shouted my name. I burst into tears. We sat down on the stairs and talked. I confessed everything.

She giggled and said "I know"

It took me by surprise but I was glad. She said she would help me, but I refused. I was definitely past the help process. She told me she was helping me and that was final. She told me to write down everything I was scared off on a piece of paper and she would do the same, together we would concur all fears starting with the small ones. SPIDERS!  

 

 

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