Keep me safe ©

Sarah Smith's my name.

A girl who being bullied. A girl who always searching for a perfect home. A girl who always feel unpretty.

I want to have friend, a friend who never calling me names, hitting and talking behind my back. I want that.

Maybe, it's you. Maybe you're the one that i'm waiting for...

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5. Chapter 5

I blink twice as I felt unfamiliar on the cubicle around me. The ceiling and walls are painted with white  color. The room is only small but still looks still clean and serene.

Why am I in a hospital?

As I began to move, I felt an arm wrapping around my waist. It’s my mom, her black hair was covering her half face and her eyelashes are fanning in her cheeks. Her lips are pale and thin. She still wearing her colourful uniform from her job. Maybe she just came here not too long ago.

I looked at the ceiling and think of reason why am I here. I remember the bath tub scene, where I drowned myself because I felt the failure and pathetic thoughts in my mind. Call me a loser, I don’t mind. I’m used to it.

I felt guilty inside of me because I just gave my parents a problem. They have to find a money that would pay for this hospital and we don’t have enough of that.

Why God saved me? I didn’t do anything in this world, I didn’t make people happy, I didn’t get a job, I didn’t!

I’m such an asshole.

I stared at my mom and I tucked her hair in her ear. I realised that I should make a change since I’m alive, still. But how would I do that if people around me keeps me grounded, keeps me punished? Should I do it or shoud I go back to the old me? The loser and the weedy one. My mother never talked to me about my situation when I’m in school but I know that she just afraid that I would be mad at her if we talk about it. She would just sit there and talk about her job and her relationship with my father. She told me that, if she kept enough cash in the bank she can finally divorce dad. Half of me gave me joy but half of me not, it’s just sucks that your family is broken even though he raped me. I still believe in myself that dad can change, I know that. I have faith in his.

“Hi, my baby..” I astonished as my mom talked. I didn’t notice that she’s awake.

“Hey mom..” I fakingly smiled.

“Are you hungry? You want something to eat? Wait there, I’ll buy for-”

“Mom! I’m not hungry. Just stay there and have a rest. I’m okay.” I interrupted.

She sneered and walked back at me. “I’m sorry, just concerned.” She bent her head down.

“It’s okay. Just don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” I reasoned.

“No. because you just drowned in your bath tub which is shallow and hard to swim.” She clowned.

I laugh, “I’m sorry,mom. I didn’t mean to drowned myself.”

“What do you mean by that?” she crumpled her eyebrows.

Shit! I think she doesn’t know that.

She stared at me confusingly, “I.. I.. I didn’t mean that. It’s just-”

“that you drowned yourself? Your doctor said that, you drowned because you accidentally slept at that moment. Why did you do that?” she stood up and walked pacing back and forth.

“I’m sorry. I just lost controlled. I couldn’t take it anymore, the punishments, the bully’s, the shrieks, the kicks and hits, the gums and the scary toys that they put in my locker, I couldn’t take it anymore mom! It kills me inside, so I made myself a decision that I should die early.” I cried and cupped my face with my hands.

I felt the arms embracing me, rubbing my back continually.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t let an argument.” She hushed.

“Will you allow me if I said that I’ll drop school?” I asked. Still nuzzling on her neck.

She sighed, “I don’t know. I’ll think about that. I’ll ask your dad.”

“No mom!” I yelled.

She widen her eyes, “why not?”

I bow my head and play with the hem of my hospital shirt, “It’s just that.. you don’t have to. He will just ignore you anyway.” I shrugged.

I’m afraid that if my dad knows about dropping school, he will torture me and rape me just like he did before.

“Yeah.. I think so too.” She glared at the window blankly.

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Yey! I’m back! How ya doin?  Sorry for late post. I just enjoyed my summer in my province mehehe! Anyway, if there’s people who loves to read romance story, please do read mine! But I never posted it yet, I still don’t have a prologue :( but I already have plot of the story.

By the way highway, don’t forget to like/ comment/ favourite etc. if you think this chapter is lame or good, let me know so I could do better next time :D Ciao! P.S sorry for short chapter

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