Keep me safe ©

Sarah Smith's my name.

A girl who being bullied. A girl who always searching for a perfect home. A girl who always feel unpretty.

I want to have friend, a friend who never calling me names, hitting and talking behind my back. I want that.

Maybe, it's you. Maybe you're the one that i'm waiting for...

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4. Chapter 4

“Honey, wake up. Time for school.” As I heard my mom whispering to me. The aroma of the waffles sticks to my nose and my stomach grumbling like a monster.

“Morning too, mom.” I stood and adjusting the duvet in my bed. Wearing a white shirt which above my knee and underwear. My legs are covered with the purple- black big bruises, cause of the kicks and the hits of my classmates and also of my father.

“Sarah! What happened to your legs? My God!” she cupped her mouth. I stood still and bent down my head.

“It’s nothing, mom. It was just an accident.” I pursed my lips. She came to me and bent her knees down. She observing my bruises while her eyebrows creasing.

“What do you mean accident?” she asked.

“I.. I.. I tripped on the staircase.” I lied.

“What?! When? You should’ve told me that!” she stood and stared at me.

“Mom, I told you it’s nothing.” I rolled my eyes.

“What is that?” she touched my face.

“What? What- Mom! Stop it!” I let her hands go away from my face and walked to the mirror.

My face also covered with bruises, my left cheek has purple- yellowish color and that’s when I remember that my father caused this. He punched me yesterday while raping me. The slit on my lips is kinda big and it hurts when I’m touching it. I glanced at my mom from the mirror who’s crossing her arms and by the look on her eyes starts to worry.

“I’m sorry, mom. You’re right,  I should’ve told you. It’s just that…. I can’t spend a single day with you because of your job. It’s just sucks and lonely. You make me feel special when I’m with you, you’re the only person who makes me happy and free. I’m sorry.” I walked to her and hugged her.

I’m sorry, mom… that I lied to you. I’m scared of losing dad. I just want a family.

I’m stupid right?

“It’s okay. You’re forgiven. Don’t you do that again, will you?” she asked.

“Yeah. Sorry.” I hugged her tightly.

“Now, let’s go down. My stomach’s dying to eat the waffles.” She smiled.

As we about to come downstairs, the door of the master’s bedroom opened. My father looked at us and he gave my mother a death look. He also looked at me but I looked away. I always remember the horrid things that he did to me whenever I looked at him.

“Don’t worry.” My mom whispered. We came down and we didn’t care of my father.

We sat on the chairs and began to eat, my mom facing me and my father sat beside me, my heart skips a fast beat that I would run out of breath. I continualy eat and never took a glanced at him. I tried to look at my mother but she just bending her head down.

I felt a hand touching my thigh. I startled and I tightly hold my fork.

“What’s wrong honey?” my mom asked worryingly.

“Maybe she saw a cockroach under the table.” My dad commented. He drank his coffee like he didn’t know anything.

“Oh.. finish your food, you’re gonna be late.” She advised.

“Mom?” I called her. My dad looked at me and touched my thigh forcefully that he’s about to break my bone.

I closed my eyes, trying to control the tears and pain. It fucking hurts.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Nothing.” I fakingly smile. The hand letting my thigh and it left a mark.

“I’m.. I’m done.” I stood up and quickly ran upstairs.

I opened my bedroom door and ran to my bathroom. I took off my shirt and my underwear, I stared to myself in the mirror, completely naked. My body looks awful, my ribs are visible to enough to see, my thighs are covered with bruises, my skin’s pale, my hair looks unhealthy, my black eyes are big with huge eyebags, my lips are purple and my wrists are covered with cuts. The tears fell down tremendously, I tried not to make a noise so that my mother wouldn’t hear. But I can’t resist it. The painful and the thoughts that are running to my mind, killing me inside. They make me want to die, they make me weak. I always want to reject the blades but they make me feel relaxed. The more I cut, less the pain. I can’t refuse it. I guess it’s my addiction. I guess, it’ll take forever. Sometimes, I want to drown myself also. I never tried it before.

I turn the faucet on above my bathtub, the thought of drowning makes me want to do it. I think, it will make me die earlier. That’s what they like right? To die. I don’t want to say goodbye to my mom, I don’t want to make a second chance, I don’t want myself to see her cry, it would hurt me a lot.

As I turn off the faucet, I step on the tub and lie. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Everything went black. 

 

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guysss! Sorry for late update, been busy! :) Just want to thank to the readers who have time to read my story. Just keep reading will you? I would love it! :D And to those who always suggesting to read their stories, don't worry i'll read it! But not now :( Anyways, I'll try to update tomorrow :) But my family including me will have a vacation in our province so i will not be able to update these coming days, not include tomorrow. Don't worry, i'll come back, it's just few days :))

BTW, Thanks again to all the readers and don't forget to vote!! Byeeee! :)

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