Keep me safe ©

Sarah Smith's my name.

A girl who being bullied. A girl who always searching for a perfect home. A girl who always feel unpretty.

I want to have friend, a friend who never calling me names, hitting and talking behind my back. I want that.

Maybe, it's you. Maybe you're the one that i'm waiting for...

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1. Chapter 1

Have you gazed yourself in the mirror but you took an hour or so because you don’t feel beautiful? Because you don’t feel alive?

Have you curled yourself on the floor for a long time because you feel unconfident? You feel dreadful? You feel unaccepted?

That in that moment, you just hope that someone holding you on, someone who encourages you to be strong, someone who holds your hands tightly and someone who murmurs in your ears that everything’s gonna be fine and you feel secure whenever they cuddle you. I am.

I’m the girl who always wishes that. The girl who always cuts herself whenever she feel depressed and miserable. The girl who always suffers on calling different names, punching and hitting by the people who hates her. She just gonna get home with the tears in her eyes, the bruises and the pains in her body. But when her mom finds out, she’d just gonna say lie and would run upstairs without glaring back to her mom. She would lay in her bed and cry and cry and cry until her eyes would be exhausted and the blood could go down. Until she would think to the razorblade and cut her wrist repeatedly.

How awful am I right? I’m jealous to the other girls who always wear a smile on their faces. Who always have friends by their side. They are the girls who go to school without trouble in the back of their minds and never feel so terrified when they come inside. They look so perfect.

While me on the other side, feel so insecure and ugly. The ugliest of the ugliest, they said. Sometimes, I’m kinda used to it and didn’t take it seriously.  Maybe, that’s life, right? The loser would use a razorblade and the winner would wear a crown, a shining and shimmering crown.

In my prediction, that’s not gonna happen to me, I know it’s not. I’m not gonna win.

 

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