Clarity *A Zayn Malik Fanfic*

Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?


3. Before we crash

 Zayn collapsed beside me. We both out of breath. I rolled over so I was closer to him. "London..." He said. He sounded worried. "I think I love you...." He whispered. I shot up. He looked at me. I started to cry. "No." I whispered. I grabbed a shirt and pants and ran out of the room. 

"London." I heard him call after me. I looked back to see Zayn with tears running down his face. He ran up to me. "Zayn.... I can't.... I can't love you... I'm sorry." I said before running out of the door. I heard something fall, then I heard him crying. What did I just do. We have known each other for two days, and he already had my heart. I can't love him, the last guy I loved hurt me. If I loved him he would do the same. "I would never." I turned around to see Zayn. Shit  did I say all that out loud. "Yah you really gotta stop doing that love." He said while laughing. 

"Zayn.... I ca-" He cut me off.

"I would never hurt you. I promise. Please London don't go." He whispered. He grabbed my hand gently and pulled me close. "London I just don't know what I would do if you left." He said. I pulled him closer. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him closer. Our body's were touching and our faces were inches apart. "How could I say no." I whispered before pulling him in for a kiss. We were leaning against the hall of his apartment building. 

"Eh-hem" We heard someone fake cough. We pulled apart to see a tiny older woman standing in front of her door. She had dark grey hair that went down to her shoulders and she looked to be about 55. Zayn and I turned a shade of red. "Mr. Malik must you stick your tongue down the young lady's throat in the hallway." She scolded. I laughed and he turned a deeper shade of red and rubbed the back of his neck. "I um-erm" He stuttered. "I kissed him first I'm sorry ma'am" I covered for him. I heard him let out a sigh of relief. 

"Okay deary but could I talk to you alone for a second?" She asked I nodded and sent him into his apartment. The lady led me into her apartment. I sat down at her table, and she sat across from me. "What's your name?"


"Well London I have known Zayn for about 6 years when he moved into that apartment at 14." She said.

"14?! What?" I asked surprised.

"His parents gave him $1000 dollars and kicked him to the curb. I saw him had the man who used to live there a lot of money. The man gave him a set of keys. 20 minutes later I heard crying and things crashing. I went over and the door was open. I went in and found a 14 year old boy bleeding in his room. London that 20 year old man tryed to kill himself. When I heard him crying earlyier it was like he was 14 all over again,  London please don't hurt him. He is like a son to me. And if he hurts you come to me I will set him straight." She said. I was amazed he was all alone, since 14. He had done good for himself.

"Nana how do you know she is not  another shag?" Zayn said making me jump. 

"I thought I told you to go home and is she?" Nana said back.

"No but still.... Oh whatever I love you too." He said while bending down to kiss her on the cheek. He pulled me up then took my spot.

"Really out of all the seats you took mine?!" I asked.

"Yah it was already warm. Now come here." He said while pulling me onto his lap. I giggled and Nana laughed.

"You kids. Zayn treat this girl right or I will stop baking you cookies." Nana joked. I looked at Zayn who was shocked.

"I'm hurt.Nana  you can give our any other punishment like make me watch soap operas for a week but don't take away the cookies." He said. I laughed and so did Nana. She got up out of her chair.

"Zayn, London you two best be going I have errands to run. Now shoo and kids I don't want little ones running around so protection!" She said why pushing us out the door. Zayn turned a bright shade of pink. I chuckled. Zayn gave Nana a quick hug then he caught up to me. He grabbed my hand and we walked into his apartment. 

"Zayn do you realize that you have no shirt on?" I asked him.

"Meh Nana has seen me in a lot less. Lets just say playing strip poker drunk on the bus in winter is never a good idea." He told me. I laughed. 

"I don't even want to ask about that. So I know this might be a tough subject but what happened with your family?" I asked afraid of his reaction. He just sat next to me on the couch.

"I will tell you if you tell me why you lied at the park about your boyfriend. Deal?"

"Deal." I laughed we shook hands. This guy was my best friend and boyfriend ever.

" Well when I was 14 I got really sick. Like I collapsed at school. My teacher called the hospital and I ended up staying there for a week in a medically educed coma. I woke up and was discharged a day later. I got home and noticed a envelope and a duffle bag at the front door. My mum gave me a hug and told me she loved me then walked away. My dad came up to me and handed me the envelope. I opened it up. I had $1000 cash in it. Thats when he told me to leave. That I wasn't welcome in his house that I cost him too much money. He handed me the bag and a phone number. I walked out shocked I called the number and the guy gave me this address and sold it to me under the table for $500. I set my bags down that's when I realized that I was on my own. It hurt to think that I wasn't wanted by my own parents. I thought that I might as well die, well that's when Nana found me. She took me under her wing. She sent me to school and got me a job down the road. Every now and then when I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place financially she spots me. And like her baking is fabulous. But yeah ever since I moved her Nana has been here for me. She practically raised me. Also Norman across the hall is Nana's boyfriend its kinda weird but he also helps me out. Now its your turn. Spill bitch." The last part he said with sass. I laughed.

"God you can be such a girl." I teased. He laughed. "Well James and I have been dating since I was 16 so about three years. Well when I turned 17 my mom passed away and I had no one else. James took me in. I loved him with all my heart. I lost my virginity to that ass hat  Well one day he started to him me. He would beat me then leave. Sometimes hours, minutes, days, or weeks he would come back and tell me he loved me and each time I would forgive him. He told me that I was forever his, and he also said that if I told anyone that he hit me I was gonna pay. I was scared in the park. James would have really hurt me if you hadn't stepped in. So that is basically it. Zayn the reason I was afraid to love you was because I loved my dad then one day he was gone it hurt me, the second was because I loved James and he hurt me both emotionally and physically, I guess its a pattern every time I love a guy I get hurt. I'm so sick of being hurt." I told him. He looked down and kissed me. We were soon interrupted by a knock at the door. He went to get up but I told him I would get it. I grabbed the bat and carefully opened the door. My jaw dropped at who was standing there.

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