Everything Is Going To Be Okay

I made a mixtape about being an average teenager and I wrote a short story based of the lyrics from the songs.

Track List:
Coming Clean by Green Day
Waste by Foster the People
The Motivation Proclamation by Good Charlotte
When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong by The Wonder Years
Spark Fires by the Story So Far
You Don't Understand Me by The Raconteurs
The Last Lie I Told by Saves The Day
Fear Of Sleep by The Strokes


4. Sunday, November 18


   Sometimes I hate the fact that we have a finished basement and a guest bedroom because my parents think that mean’s our house can turn into a hotel for a week. This Thursday is Thanksgiving and that’s why a bunch of my family is staying at our house over the break.

   From now until Christmas is probably my least favorite part of the year. It’s the time when all my relatives get together to pick on me and yell at each other about politics. Last year wasn’t so bad because Veronica was there for most of it so we just played video games in the loft while she pretended to be my girlfriend so my uncles would stop calling me a faggot.

   I mean I know family will never understand each other but if people actually took the time to actually listen to each other they might comprehend some of what they say. Why do they feel the need to tease me? There’s always a better way to do the things we do and no one should be talked down to because they’re different.

   Okay, I’m not saying I’m super nice or that I don’t judge other people but I do realize where my faults are. I can sit there with my friends and we can make fun of some dude or group of kids at a show for hours, it’s funny. But we’re really no better than anyone else at all. There’s always another point of view and we probably look just as stupid to a different group of people.

   That’s the kind of stuff that really gets to me. When I start thinking like this, it all just starts spiraling down. If everyone thinks each other is wrong then how can anyone be right? I can’t try to make the right decisions for anyone else because I’ll always fail. I’ll just keep questioning things, trying to make sense of it all until I just crack. It used to get really bad but I found some escape in the hospital parking lot down the street from my house.

   Over the summer I would drive around and smoke cigarette after cigarette because the weather was nice and I wanted to be anywhere but home. But then my mom started complaining about the car smelling like smoke. She confronted me and said she knew the smoking thing was a phase and if I wanted to explore my world and make mistakes that I would have to do it anywhere but in the car.

   I really couldn’t complain since she was letting me off the hook so easily so I started parking in the Emergency Room Parking lot and smoking on the curb. It’s nice because unlike in a Wal-Mart parking lot, people won’t bother you or tell you you’re loitering. They just assume something bad has happened to someone you know and they leave you alone.

   That’s where I am now, writing and escaping from my parents and everyone else. In a parking lot by myself. It’s a quarter to nine and I’ve been here since five. I can hear some sirens in the distance and I smell gasoline. The city is just beyond those clouds but I’m stuck here for now, feeling the cold pavement against my skin.



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