Over Again (18+)

Camille's relationship with Harry was perfect until she was torn and cheated. Things got worse after Harry found out and troubles came over. Before everything has fixed, another troubles came again and broke hearts into pieces. Trust was broken, friendship was betrayed. Could Camille make everything straight and start this over again?


48. Wrong Felt So Right


All I see was red.

Red; deep scarlet red, liquid, dipping droplet by droplet. The red liquid stained the floor; it was literally everywhere.

It wasn't just an ordinary red liquid.

It was blood.

To my horror, a figure flashed before my eyes. A human body, sprawled in a position that was far from normal, motionless and lifeless. The face was drenched with that particular red liquid, the physiognomy was damaged. His eyes were rolled back into his head. The dark blue orbs were no longer in sight; replaced by nothing but white. Lips turned blue, parted with blood trailing out of the mouth.

His head was titled to the side in dangerously odd angle, and I could see a bone peeked out from the skin, penetrated through the flesh. His neck was clearly broken -- no, it was wrecked.

I screamed. So loud that I wished my scream would get rid of that horrible image, but it was still haunting me. I could see it clearly every time I closed my eyes. Joe Stevanelek's face was the only thing in my vision, haunting me.

"Liam," a voice echoed in the back of my mind and I could faintly feel someone shook my shoulder.

"Liam!" I heard the voice again this time it was a bit louder and clearer.

"Liam, wake up," my shoulder was shaken harder.

My eyes shot open and I was greeted by a pair of emerald blue eyes peered down at me in concern. I instantly sat up on the bed, panting hard. My body was shaking and drenched with sweat.

"Ssh, don't worry babe. It's just a dream," Niall cooed, held my sweaty body tightly in his arms.

I instantly relaxed in his arms as I buried my face into his shoulder and inhaled his scent deeply. His protective arms made me feel safe and calm, and at the moment I just realized how strong and big Niall's biceps were. Well, not as big as mine but it was still considered big.

"Niall," I breathed, calling out his name.

"I got you," he whispered comfortingly in my ear.

"H-he-" I gulped, swallowed the words I was planning to say. I took a deep breath then continued, "he-his images couldn't leave my mind. All I see was blood."

Niall sighed and pulled away from our embrace, caused me to whimper. Then he placed both hands in my cheek and leaned in, kissed my lips tenderly.

"I should be the one and only thing on your mind," Niall whispered against my lips before pulling away. "Now let's go back to sleep," he said, pulled our bodies into the bed and placed the duvet over us. I tangled my feel with his and held him close in my arms as he did the same.

"I love you," I pecked him on the lips, then pressed our foreheads together.

"I love you too," he replied. "Funny because you were the one comforting me a few hours ago," he chuckled lightly, tried to lighten the atmosphere.

I kissed his nose and chuckled, then snaked my arms around his waist, my fingers stroked his bare back. We stared at each other in comfortable silence, the dim light from the moon outside illuminated his beautiful facade.

Suddenly, out of the blue, an idea popped in my head. It was so random but I didn't give a damn.

"Babe," I said in quietly and Niall hummed in response. "Do you have plans for tomorrow?" I asked.

"I don't feel like going out tomorrow," he replied, and from his voice I could tell he was very sleepy.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could go out tomorrow. I think there's a match between Tottenham and Arsenal in the afternoon," I shrugged, keeping my tone light as deep inside I wanted to go out on a date with him so badly. Tomorrow was the only day off since the next day we would release our album then do some interviews and signings.

"You're taking me out on a date?" He asked, a playful grin on his delicate face. Despite the sleepiness, his eyes still looked mesmerizing as he looked at me with his blue orbs.

"Only if you'd like to," I shrugged again then caressed his back with my thumb.

"I'd love to, Liam," he replied, leaned in to peck my lips.

"Good," I smiled and stroked his face lovingly.

Niall's eyelids were getting heavier and it occasionally dropped, but he tried to keep his eyes open. I leaned in to kiss both of his eyes.

"Go to sleep babe, I know you're tired," I said lovingly. He smiled and nodded. Fuck, he looked really adorable with that cute smile and messy hair.

"Good night love," he said.

"Good night," I replied, pecking him on the lips.

A few moments later, he had fallen asleep. I stared at him in his sleep, he looked so peaceful in his slumber. His lips were slightly parted and small snores escaped his adorable kissable lips.

I felt my eyelids getting heavier as well, so I closed my eyes. But before the slumber could come upon me, I heard voices from the hallway.

I opened my eyes, tried to stay vigilant as I sharpened my ears to hear what was going on. I heard whimpers and groans followed by laughter, and the voices were all too familiar. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, then pressed the round button on the bottom of the device. The phone screen turned on, and I had to narrow my eyes to adjust with the bright light. I looked at the clock.

What the fuck were Harry and Louis doing at three in the morning?

Then I remembered they went to a club earlier today; or should I say yesterday. I was sure both of them were completely wasted.

I heard both of them stumbled into their room, and after I heard the door shut, there was silence. Probably they slept in the same room, just like me and Niall slept together in my room. But there was a big difference between Louis and Harry and Niall and I. They slept together in such a bromantic way, whilst Niall and I slept together in romantic way. There was clearly no affection between both of them since they were straight, unlike me and Niall.

But guess what, I didn't regret a thing.

I looked over at the sleeping boy -- or should I say man -- next to me who looked incredibly beautiful. A grin made its way across my face as I caressed the soft cheek of his gently.

Niall was mine; only mine. I wish I could soon make it official and tell the whole world who he belonged to. Someday, it would happen.

And if people couldn't accept us, they sucked. Shame on them. If they didn't like the idea of me and Niall being together, they could fuck themselves!




I opened my eyes, and the bright light attacked my eyes. I blinked several times to adjust with the light, then pulled myself into sitting position. I looked to my left, and found the spot next to me was vacant. I checked the time, it was already twelve. I had been a heavy sleeper lately. I stretched out a bit before getting out and walked out of my room.

I stepped into the kitchen, and found Harry and Niall chattering away.

"We talked for an hour before I got drunk- oh, hey Liam," Harry stopped as he acknowledged my presence.

"Hey," Niall said softly, offered me a warm smile which I returned fondly.

"So," I trailed off, rummaged through the cabinet to find our favorite cereal. "What were you talking about?" I asked out of curiosity. I found that we ran out of cereal so I grabbed a grape instead.

"Nothing," Harry replied, voice weak and quiet. "Louis and I just met Camille at the club, 's all," he said nonchalantly.

"Camille? With whom?" I inquired.

"With her two friends from school, I forget their names," Harry answered.

"School? She's finally going to school?" Niall asked whilst chewing on an apple.

"Yeah, in Bellerbys College," Harry replied.

"Was it awkward?" I asked. "Y'know, knowing both you and Louis are her exes. Was it awkward talking with her?" I clarified.

"No, we were like old friends, talking about our lives," he said, shrugging. "Shit," he cursed under his breath and placed both hands on his head.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern. "Hangover?"

"Yeah," he replied weakly. I took an ibuprofen from the first aid box then handed the medicine to him.

"How much did you drink?" I asked, quite fatherly.

"Not much, not as much as Louis I guess," he replied as he gulped down the medicine with water. He then drifted off, stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

"Camille.." Harry muttered under his breath, voice barely audible. "She was really beautiful," he trailed off.

I didn't want to imagine how Louis would be when he woke up. It wasn't a secret to everyone that Louis was extremely grumpy when he was hangover. It was literally worse than a girl on her PMS.

Speak of the devil, the said boy stumbled into the kitchen with irritated expression and groaned, hands on the side of his head. He ignored us all as he rummaged through the kitchen cabinet.

"Fuck, this is shit," he cussed under his breath. He groaned again then took aspirin.

"Take ibuprofen, it works better," I spoke. Louis flinched then pulled an annoyed face at me.

"Stop talking so fucking loud," he grumbled, but followed my suggestion and took ibuprofen instead.

I raised an eyebrow, and saw Niall held his laughter. I didn't talk loudly. It was his hangover made my voice seemed louder.

"This headache is such a motherfucking bitch!" Louis groaned, sitting next to Niall.

"You shouldn't have gotten drunk your arse off," Niall commented and laughed. I couldn't help but laugh along with the younger lad. His laugh was always contagious, and it was really cute.

"Shut up you twat," Louis replied and Niall laughed harder. He just rolled his eyes then said, "I'm hungry as hell, I want Lucky Charms!"

"We don't have any cereal left," I replied.

"I don't give a shit, I want Lucky Charms now," he demanded.

"But there's no cereal here Lou," Harry spoke.

"Then why don't you go get one," Louis said to me, voice full of sass.

"I'm gonna go with Niall to Emirates Stadium, so I can't," I said. Louis looked more irritated and he just glared at me and Niall.

"Alright, I'll go to Tesco to get your cereal," Harry said in surrender.

"You better be quick," Louis remarked. Harry just rolled his eyes then took a gulp of water before leaving the kitchen.

"I think we should get ready so we can get nice seat," Niall said. We both dismissed ourselves from the kitchen, leaving Louis and his grumpy ass alone.





It was funny how someone could be so caring and concern, but then they left like you meant nothing to them. The day before they would kill to hear from you, but the next day they acted like you didn't exist.

I sighed as I laid on my stomach on my bed, scrolling through Sugarscape reading articles about Harry went to a club last night. There were pictures of him with fans and him dancing with random girls. He happened to go there with Louis. From the look on his face, he looked happy and care less about anything in the world.

So, while I was staring hopelessly at my phone waiting for his reply and plotting an apology and explanation to him, he was partying at the club. He was having fun with me out of his head while I couldn't go a second without thinking of him.

I was beginning to question his love for me.

I took my phone, about to text Harry that I didn't mean that. But again, I shook my head and locked my phone instead. My pride was setting in, and I couldn't just swallow it. I wanted him to be the one making first effort to talk to me. I wondered why he didn't fight for me and ask me to take my words back, or even ask for an explanation.

I decided not to let it bother my mind, but it was easier said than done. However, at least I had to try to get him off my mind. I'd just go out to refresh my mind.

A breakfast on Klen Huis, the cafe round the corner of the street sounded appealing, especially I had been wanting to try the food there.

It took me less than two minutes to get there. The cafe looked nice, the walls were painted in light pink and cream. The building looked like ancient Dutch building, and when I got in the interior really brought Dutch atmosphere.

The cafe wasn't crowded, there were only a few people here. I wasn't surprised though, it was one in the afternoon already and people had already had their breakfast and they were still too full for lunch.

As I sat on the table, a waitress came with a menu. She wore black dress uniform that had white round collar and white waist apron.

I scanned over the menu, and almost all of the food were Dutch cuisine. I didn't understand the name of the food. I was too shy to ask what the food were so I just picked some food randomly.

"Um, I'll have Erwtensoep and Stamppot." I said. "And a cup of hot tea please," I added. She scribbled my order on her notepad before dismissed herself politely.

As I waited for my food to arrive, I couldn't help but think about Harry. I still couldn't get over the fact that Harry was partying, forgetting me. I bet no single thoughts about me crossed his mind.

It didn't take long for the food to arrive and my mouth watered at what the waitress brought. Erwtensoep was actually a thick pea soup. It was so thick that I could stand my spoon up on it. The soup was delicious and warm. Stamppot was mashed potatoes mixed with vegetables, smoked sausages and some gravy. It tasted really good and savory.

The food lightened up my mood slightly. I was thinking of visiting Klen Huis more often while I was in this town.

On my way back home, I ran into Vienna. I wasn't surprised though. It wasn't a rare thing to run into someone you know in this small town.

We chit-chatted, discussing about the trip to London for Christmas and about our lives recently. I learned that she was dating Carlton, a guy who had been chasing her for the past three years. I laughed out laud when she confessed her relationship with that black haired guy, because she had rejected Carlton too many times to count before.

After we said our goodbyes, I went back home. As I got home, I headed straight to my room then grabbed my phone that I left on my nightstand.

I sighed in disappointment when I saw there was no new messages from Harry. I placed my phone back to the nightstand and decided not to expect anything from that boy I still adored so much. Well, maybe after all he wanted nothing to do with me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach as realization hit me.

Harry didn't love me anymore.

I glanced at my phone again, then it buzzed. I grabbed the device so quickly like a hungry tiger. When I unlocked my phone, it was actually an automatic message from my service provider.

"Screw this shit!" I groaned in exasperation. My eyes began to water but I shook my head vigorously, didn't let my eyes get any wetter. I didn't want to cry over a boy who didn't even give second thoughts about me. I didn't want to shatter my pride by shedding any teardrop. I decided to go downstairs since I heard some noises from the living room.

As I stepped into the living room, I found my dad, chattering away with my mom. I was a bit surprised, since he should had been in London and he didn't tell he was coming home. My dad noticed my presence then motioned me to come over.

"You didn't tell me you were going back here," he remarked as I sat on the couch next to him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and messed with my hair.

"It was a sudden decision I guess," I shrugged, my fingers automatically went to trace a particular spot on my neck. I sighed and dropped my hand to my lap, didn't want to think about the day when I left for Leicester.

"What made you suddenly come back here?" he asked.

"I'm just homesick, 's all," I replied nonchalantly. As much as I loved my dad, I didn't want to tell him about my clouded feelings and mixed emotions towards Josh and Harry. I just wanted to keep it to myself.

"You should've told me before you left. I was worried sick, especially when your boyfriend came over, looking for you. He was very anxious and panicked," he said, made my heart ached.

Your boyfriend.

Well, that boy wasn't my boyfriend anymore.

I wanted to correct him and tell him he wasn't my boyfriend anymore, but I wasn't in the mood for answering questions. Knowing my parents, they would ask me tons of question that I didn't want to answer. So I decided to keep my mouth shut about it.

"I'm sorry dad. I was rushed," I said, feeling guilty for making my dad worried.

"Well, fortunately I called your mom and it was relieving to hear you were at home, safe," my dad said.

"Speaking of which, it seems like we're celebrating Christmas at home," my mom said cheerfully.

"Sounds great!" Dad agreed.

"Um, I'm sorry I can't," I trailed off, playing with my fingers. "I'm planning on celebrating it in London with Vienna and Jenna. I haven't seen them in like forever so I think it would be nice to spend time with them for a few days," I told them.

"That's fine dear, as long as you're here for new year's eve," mom said.

"I will. I'll be back by 27th, yeah?"

"That's nice," she smiled and my dad nodded.

We then watched TV together and talked. It was nice to just chill with my family, forgetting all the problems. I didn't have to have Harry bugging my mind, and my dad didn't have to worry about his business. We just talked and enjoy ourselves.

After lunch (I just ate ice cream since I had eaten earlier), we decided to go shopping downtown. I went upstairs to my room to get ready. When I checked my phone, my jaw dropped as I scanned my notifications list.

Fourteen missed calls from Harry.

I checked the time, it was over half an hour ago when he last called me. He didn't leave any voicemail or text message so I called him back.

I listened to the dialing tone before it went to answer machine. I redialed, and this time he picked up.

"Leigh!" Harry's voice filled the speaker, made me missed him and wanted him so terribly.

"Harry," I breathed. "I-"

"What the hell," he cut me off, sounded breathless. "Did you break up on me?"

"Look, I'm sor-"

"You left without saying a word, left me worrying and wondering, then when I finally got a text from you, it's a breakup text?! What is going on?!" He raised his voice slightly. Judging from his voice, I could tel he was holding himself from yelling at me over the phone.

"I was-"

"No, let me finish," he cut me off again and I went silent. "I don't know what's happening on your mind, I don't know what it is that you're having against me. I thought we were fine, so in love. I thought you would never leave me. We were fine in the morning the day you left for fuck's sake!" He spoke in rushed tone. "When I got out from the recording room, you were gone. I've been searching for you, crying over you, but you vanished," he paused. I opened my mouth to speak but he went on, "you don't know how I feel. You have no idea how worried I was, how terrified I was of losing you." His voice was a bit quieter. I didn't realize my eyes were watering until my vision was blurred.

"I was scared shitless. I was scared that something happened to you. I was scared of losing you," he paused for a second. "And now I'm losing you for real."

"I'm sorry! Let me-"

"Save your shit ass sorry to yourself," he said harshly. "You broke me. I'm completely shattered now."

"You? Shattered? Very funny," I shot back sarcastically. I couldn't believe he was shattered when last night he was having fun at the club. "The last time I checked, you were at the club last night, having the time of your life. If you shattered a scotch, then I believe it."

"You.. You're just.. Ugh!" He growled. I wiped my tears furiously. I couldn't believe we were having a phone fight.

"And I was about to take the breakup text back. I still love you, I didn't want to break up with you. It was just a mistake, my mind was messed up so I did something without thinking. But you didn't reply to my text all day long yesterday, so I assumed you were completely fine with it."

Harry took a deep erratic breath. "You assumed I was fine? Are you fucking stupid?! You must be too dumb that you underestimate my love for you. First of all, I had an interview in the afternoon, and I left my phone before I went, and I haven't touched my phone since then until I found it just now," he explained angrily. "Shit happened that day. Our interviewer died. I couldn't take it anymore. I had had too much crap yesterday, so I drank it away."

I was taken aback by his explanation. I let out a soft whimper as I let what he said sink in. It all finally made sense to me.

"Harry, I'm really sorry," I whispered. "I was so messed up! There were a lot of things on my mind on the day I left. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think straight," I cried. "I still love you. Please, take me back and I'll make it up to you. I need space so I'm staying here but I'm going to London for Christmas and I'll make it up to you then. Please, just take me back," I pleaded, swallowing my pride with every words that escaped my mouth.

"I.. I don't know Leigh," Harry sighed. "It's too much for me. I'm hurt," he said.

"Give me one more chance," I begged. "Just one more chance, I swear I'll never leave you again. You're the one I want."

There was silence at the end of the line. I could tell he was thinking hard, pondering whether he would take me back or not. My heart was beating hard against my rib cage and my tears were still streaming down my face. I gripped my phone with shaking hands tightly as I waited for his reply.

"Harry," I whispered carefully when it took like forever for him to make up his mind.

"Fine," Harry sighed. "I love you way too much to let you go," he said in his deep husky voice.





"Thanks for today. It was fun," Niall said, created butterflies in my stomach. I just smiled and pecked my boyfriend's lips sweetly.

We were currently lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Today had been a long day and it was perfect. I was very thankful.

After we watched the match which resulted to Arsenal's victory, we went to a park nearby and fed the ducks. It may seemed cliche but we enjoyed it so much. Niall looked very adorable when he fed the ducks with bread. We then had dinner in Gina's, an Italian restaurant. The dinner was very lovely, and after we finished our plate Niall asked me to be his boyfriend.

I was completely astonished. I never expected that he would have the balls to do that. I always thought I would be the one asking him to make it official about our relationship. It was very crazy that he asked me to be his. Not that I was complaining, though.

Making it official was something else. I still couldn't wrap my finger around it. I was still thrilled by the fact that I had a boyfriend.

I never thought of myself being gay; being attracted to a dude. I didn't know I was into someone with a penis instead of a vagina. My head was screaming that this was wrong, all of this was very twisted in every way, yet a part of me felt this was right. At this point, I didn't recognize myself. I didn't know about my sexuality anymore. Well, before Niall, I considered myself straight.

But however, I said yes to Niall. He was then my boyfriend.

Maybe I was gay for Niall, even though I wasn't ready to accept it.

I looked away from the ceiling and looked at the boy next to me. He was very irresistible, and that was probably why I said yes even though I wasn't sure about my sexuality and I wasn't ready for being gay. The way he smiled was endearing, his laugh was contagious, his lips were intoxicating, his scent was overwhelming, his eyes were mesmerizing. He was just perfect.

Niall averted his gaze from the ceiling and his ocean eyes met mine. Without any sound, he leaned in and I found myself inching towards him as well, let our lips met halfway. I put a hand behind his neck to keep his face close and he ran his hands through my hair. Our lips moved slowly in a tender kiss, made every inch of me wanted him more.

This was wrong.

Being attracted to a boy was wrong.

Kissing a boy was wrong.

Kissing my own band mate was wrong.

But it was Niall after all. He made me felt loved all over again. He made my heart fluttered in a good way, with butterflies in my stomach. He made me feel something I had never felt. I was genuinely happy.

He made wrong felt so right.





Sorry it took so long and this is short and crappy. Exams are eating me alive!

I know I'm losing readers and you've lost interest in reading this fanfic, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm sad that people stop reading my fanfic, but again, school is a motherfucking bitch.

Exams will be over in April (in the middle of April I guess) so after that, I'll have much much time to write more. I want to finish this before summer is over but.... idk. I hope I can.

Wish me luck for my exams eh?

Spoiler: In the upcoming chapter (not sure which chapter but SOON), there will be a new character. You know her!

Anyway, thank you very much if you're still reading this. That means a lot. And a comment will be very appreciated.


Denna xx

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