Over Again (18+)

Camille's relationship with Harry was perfect until she was torn and cheated. Things got worse after Harry found out and troubles came over. Before everything has fixed, another troubles came again and broke hearts into pieces. Trust was broken, friendship was betrayed. Could Camille make everything straight and start this over again?


51. It Is What It Is


It took a lot of efforts to get myself out of that hell hole called prison. After two long weeks on and off the court, I could finally feel the sense of freedom and breath in the free air.

The battle against Taylor Swift and her thugs was really though, considering she had heaps of connections hence she could easily manipulate things. I was on the edge of losing in the first court. She defended herself from the accusation easily and manipulated half of the proofs I had gathered.

Apparently the goddess of fortune was on my side after that. One of Taylor's thugs, Leo, betrayed her. He spilled the beans, told everything that leaded to the truth. Together, we gathered the evidences of the wicked things Taylor had done.

We went to the court twice; the first one almost lost because Taylor bribed the judges. At the second court, I hired one of the finest lawyers in London. With the help of Leo's information and the evidences, we started to turn the table. To our luck, the judge couldn't be bribed. We finally won the court, and I was declared as innocent.

As the result, I was set free. Leo's punishment was still the same, which was 5 years. And Taylor's punishment became 23 years. I was happy that Taylor finally got what she deserved.

Anyway, her threats towards my family was actually nothing but empty since almost all of her thugs were imprisoned. Moreover, the cops had guaranteed the safety of them. I had no more worries about that.

I was happy that everything was almost going back to normal. I would go back to the university next week, and the police would clean up my name. My family went back to normal, and they adored me even more after knowing the truth. Everything started to fall back into the right place.

Except one.

Louis Tomlinson.

That was why here I was, standing at his doorstep to get back what was taken away from me. I had to explain everything to him and make sure not missing any single detail. I wanted my relationship back the way it was before Taylor came and stirred the pot.

I heaved a deep breath, then brought my hand up to ring the door bell. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't even know if he was home or not. I was completely clueless about what would happen after the door was opened.

I knew that Louis had had a girlfriend, they dated for a quite while before they broke up. And she was none other than Camille, Harry's ex girlfriend. I wished Louis wasn't seeing someone at the moment.

I waited in anticipation before the door was swung open to reveal the familiar face I had been longing to see. He looked breathtaking as usual, and way different than the last time I saw him. His hair was much longer, and he had grown more facial hair. His muscles were more prominent.

As he realized who was paying him a visit, his face paled as the color on his face drained. He looked so gobsmacked, as if he was seeing a ghost. His jaw was practically on the floor and he was pretty much paralyzed. I wasn't surprised though. He was oblivious about the truth the entire time.

"H-hi," I choked out nervously, wincing at how weak I sounded.

"E-Eleanor?" he choked out wide eyed. "W-what are you d-doing?"

I took a deep breath and collected myself. "Long story," I sighed. "Can I.. come in?" I inquired.

"Yes," he breathed, stepping aside to let me through. "You're sure you didn't break out of the prison?"

His statement stabbed me in the chest but I tried my best not to get offended. However, he had every right to get suspicious at me, and accuse me on breaking out of the jail.

I stepped inside the spacious house and took my surroundings. It had been ages since the last time I stepped foot in this place. It looked pretty much the same, and I really missed being here. This house brought so many memories.

I took a seat on the couch, watching anxiously as he sat on the couch across from me. He raised an eyebrow at me, silently asking for explanation. I sighed deeply. This is the moment of truth.




"That fucking bitch!" he exclaimed after I finished with the explanation. "You should have told me before," he said, disappointment evident in his voice.

"I was scared, Lou. I didn't know what to do but to obey her," I sighed.

"At least you should've told me, and we can work that out together. It's not like I would spill," he replied.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't think straight. I was under pressure."

Louis took a deep breath, then rubbed his face with his hand. He shifted uncomfortably on his seat, his eyes looking everywhere but my direction.

"You broke my heart that day," he talked in low voice. His blue eyes met mine and I could see pain in them. The pain that I caused.

"My heart was crushed that moment I was told to break up with you," I admitted.

We sat there in silence, both of us drowned into deep thoughts. 

"So.." I broke the silence. Louis raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What now?" I asked carefully. I needed to know if we could fix this thing, and if we could go back to the way we were. My feelings for him was still the same, the love I had for him was still there and it hurt so much.

Louis let out a deep sigh and looked down at his hands. "Well," he trailed off, fiddling with his fingers. "I don't know, El. It's too much," he said. "What do you expect?" he looked up at me.

"To be honest, I want us to go back the way we were before," I told him truthfully. "I still feel the same about you, Lou."

"Can you.. just leave? Please." He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. I could feel my heart broke but who was I to blame him? I should had told him the truth instead of obeying Taylor and we could had sorted this things out together, without hurting each other.


"Just leave, okay? I still can't wrap my head around this," he says, put both hands on his head.

"I still love you," I whispered before standing up. I pondered to hug him but I decided against it since I didn't want to freak him out.

I heard him whispered something under his breath but I didn't catch it because I had made my way towards the front door. I felt numb as I closed the door behind me, leaving half of my heart inside the house.





It was finally Christmas and New Year break, and Christmas was tomorrow. Who wasn't excited?


I was always excited for holiday but not this time. Not when my boyfriend was forced to spend the holiday with some clingy chick that was hired to hide his sexuality.

Yes, Modest! forced Liam to spend the entire holiday in Monte Carlo with Sonya, or Serena, or whatever. Who gave a fuck about her name? Definitely not me.

To worsen my already ruined holiday, there was a snowstorm in Ireland so the airport was closed. I couldn't go to Ireland to spend Christmas with my family, just like last year.

Fuck, I was sure the whole universe hated me.

Last year I was stuck in London for Christmas because of the damned snowstorm. This year I was planning on flying home earlier, but yesterday we had an interview.

Guess what, who was getting a new year kiss?

Not me.

But Liam and his beard. Fucking management told them to kiss on New Year's eve and there would be tons of paps.

Liam had already left for Monaco this morning. I wanted to run after him but I wasn't allowed to. Fuck management. Fuck life.

Well, guess I would be bumming around in London for Christmas, alone. Like a pathetic seal.


Just.. fuck!

I hated being alone. I never liked the idea of being alone, especially on holiday. Last year I had Liam and we went to Gary Barlow's concert, even though I went with Barbara Palvin and I still considered Liam as a friend. And I ended up running from Barbara after the concert ended because she freaked the fuck out of me. Like.. really, she was like talking nonsense about fashion and some shit, then she criticized my fashion style. Then she talked about her photo shoot in China and stuff I didn't put any interest on. It was really awkward.

This year I literally had no one. My friend Doe had escaped to Ireland since last week and Tilly was in Ireland as well. Louis went to Doncaster, Zayn went to Pakistan with Perrie (even though they wouldn't celebrate Christmas there since Zayn and his family was Muslim), Liam was trying to look straight in Monaco, and Harry.. well, I didn't know what his plan was. I guess I had to talk to him.

I went to his room and found him lying on his bed, talking to someone whom I assume was Leigh over the phone. He noticed me and ended the call.

"What's up, Ni?"

"Well, what's your plan for Christmas?" I asked.

"I think I'm going to LA with my family," he answered. I mentally rolled my eyes at his weird obsession in LA. He literally went to LA every time he had the chance. "What's yours?" he asked.

"Dunno. There's a fucking snowstorm in Ireland and the airport is closed," I sighed.

"Really? I didn't know about that," he said in surprise.

"Watch news," I rolled my eyes. "Guess I'm stuck here alone," I pouted.

"Wait up," he said, tapping away on his phone. I rolled my eyes, I bet he was replying to Leigh.

"Are you done yet?" I asked impatiently.

Don't blame me for having sour arse mood. I was really gutted with the whole situation so I deserved to bitch at everyone.

"Hold up," he trailed off, still focusing on his phone.

"Life sucks," I mumbled.

"Okay, done," Harry said cheerfully. "You're spending Christmas and New Year with me in London. Leigh will join us for Christmas but she's going to Leicester for New Year," he told me.

Wait, what?!

"No, you can't just ruin all your plans just for me," I said.

"It's fine, Niall. Stop bitching about it," he said.

"I'm sorry for ruining your holiday," I muttered.

"No, that's not a big deal, especially compared to you and Liam. It must be hell for you two knowing Liam has to spend holiday away from you with that Sophia girl."

"Thanks mate. You're the best!" I hugged him.

"Don't mention it. We'll have Narry holiday!" he joked. "Narry Christmas!"

"Oh God, stop," I groaned. "Just.. stop it. That was bad. Like, really bad. And corny. Stop making Narry jokes like that," I said, laughing at his corniness.

"You love me though," he chuckled. "Let's plan something for Christmas and make it the best holiday ever!"

"Not gonna happen but okay, you tried," I joked.





I looked at myself in the mirror, frowned slightly as I fixed my bra strap so it wouldn't be visible. I ran a hand through my curled blonde hair and sighed deeply, trying to keep my heart beat at bay. My eyes were still focused on my own reflection as I heard the chatter from outside. I heard a laugh and recognized the voice as Harry.

No, it wasn't Harry Styles. I was talking about Harry Forrester, my cousin. He lived in Doncaster and he was a footballer, Doncaster Rovers' striker. He was in the same team as Louis.

Harry and I were close since we both loved football. We used to watch football together, sometimes with Josh when we were still dating. When he came over, he would teach me me about football even though I kind of sucked at it. Every time Harry, Josh, and I were in the same room, all you could hear was football, soccer, or a sport that had 11 players each team with one round ball and three (sometimes five) referees.

"You look lovely," my mum said, startling me. I didn't hear her entering.

"Thanks," I smiled slightly, looking at the white dress that fitted my body nicely. However, I felt somewhat self conscious about my appearance.

"Everyone's already here," she informed. "Well, almost everyone," she added.

I just nodded, but did no effort to get my arse out of my room. My heart beat faster as I thought more about this dreaded dinner.

Tonight was New Year's eve. And we were about to have the big family dinner in my house. I couldn't be more nervous since Josh was coming. I wanted to scold my mum for inviting his family but I didn't want her to get suspicious. She only knew that we broke up in unpleasant way, and she thought we were now fine.

Anyway, Christmas went by like a blur and to be honest it wasn't as good as I imagined. I spent it in London with my two best friends and Harry and Niall. We stayed together in One Direction's house, but we weren't there much. We were pretty much going out to clubs and restaurants.

To say I was quite disappointed was an understatement. During the Christmas holiday in London, Harry was quite distant to me. He didn't show it though. He was still affectionate and sweet towards me, but I could see it in his eyes that there was something other than me in his mind. I tried asking him but he always brushed it off or distracted me.

"Why are you still here? Your cousins are missing you," Mum said. I took one last glance at the mirror before following her out of my room.




We were currently having dinner. Everyone was engaged in their own conversation and I noticed Harry nudging Josh. He said to him, "how's Tomlinson?"

For a second I wondered why Harry asked about Louis. But then I remembered that they were on the same team, even though Louis wasn't on the squad considering his overly tight schedule with One Direction.

"He's good, haven't seen him since before the break though," Josh replied.

"He's spending the holiday in Doncaster," I piped in. Not that I wanted to talk to Josh. I just wanted to talk to someone since I was the only one who had no one to talk to in the dining room.

"You know him?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, my boyfriend is his best mate," I answered and I could see Josh tensed up slightly.

"Oh yea, I almost forgot," he said. "You're Harry Styles' girlfriend."

"Indeed." Sort of.

Harry hadn't texted me since I went back to Leicester, which was four days ago. I was totally worried but after two days I decided not to think about it. He needed space for himself, and so did I. If he wanted to talk, he would contact me first. I didn't want to bother him since I had texted him a few times but got no reply.

"How's Louis on team?" Josh asked.

"He only played one match," Harry replied. I remembered that match. Louis was tackled and his knee was injured. Then he got sick and threw up on the field. "He wasn't that good," he added.

This was the thing I liked about Harry. He always spoke his mind honestly. His bluntness made him different than the others. He didn't try to say what people wanted to hear. He just said what he wanted to say.

"He's not bad either," Josh defended and I nodded in agreement.

"Well, he's not that good for Harry's scale. And Harry's scale is like star players," I said.

"I'm afraid you're right," Harry chuckled. But Harry wasn't that good though. Doncaster Rovers was a small team, they couldn't even make it to the Premier League. Notwithstanding, Harry was the best striker on team. He scored the most goals for the team.

"I'm always right," I smirked and both boys rolled their eyes.

The dinner wasn't as awkward as I had expected. It was astonishingly fun and warm, and I felt settled. It was nice, Josh didn't try to get in my nerves. He was pretty cool though. The conversation was flowing and not awkward. We talked about many things; about holiday, the band, and football, and he didn't once speak about what happened between us. It felt like back in high school when we were still friends.

After the dinner, I went to the living room to chat with my aunt and cousins. Harry and Josh were playing games with some boys. Some adults were drinking.

We talked about many things, but the conversation was mostly centered around me since I disappeared last year. Moreover, I had been filling the magazine lately.

Time passed quickly and it was almost midnight. Tired of being asked about my relationship with Harry, I excused myself and sneaked to the balcony upstairs.

I sighed, staring at the sky. It was snowing lightly and fuck if it wasn't cold. Me being stupid by not wearing any jacket. Even though I was used to cold weather, this white dress that fell on mid thigh wasn't helping on keeping me warm.

As I turned around to go back and get a jumper, I was frozen as I saw Josh leaning against the wall. I cursed under my breath; of course sooner or later he would get to me. I wondered what was on his mind. Maybe he had handcuffs behind his back since both of his hands were hidden behind him.

I said nothing. Instead, I just held his gaze, waiting for him to speak first. After a moment of staring contest, he finally spoke, "are you enjoying yourself?"

"Um, yeah. Sort of," I replied truthfully. Despite everything, I felt relaxed.

"Good," he nodded, slowly walking towards me. I couldn't take a step back since I was on the edge.

"What do you want?" I hissed, suddenly feeling anxious with our close proximity.

"You," Josh breathed. There was no hint of liquor in his breath and I was thankful. Josh was poor in handling alcohol.

"Please don't," I pleaded. "Please don't ruin the night, it's the end of the year."

"I haven't seen you touch your phone since you got out of your room," Josh pointed out.

"And?" I asked, puzzled.

"During dinner, both of your hands were on the table," he said and I got more confused.

"What's your point?" I inquired.

"Remember New Year's eve two years ago?"

My breath hitched in my throat as I recalled the big dinner two years ago. We were still dating, but Josh didn't come. That night we constantly texted, even during the dinner I still sneakingly texted him under the table. An hour before new year we talked over the phone until the final count and we both kissed our phones, saying it was our New Year's kiss.

I sighed deeply, and reluctantly looked at Josh's brown eyes. There was something in his eyes, a flicker of emotion but I looked away because I didn't want to find out.

"Do you love him?" Josh asked, his voice low. He didn't sound aggressive like he usually did and that surprised me.

I paused, taken aback by his question. Did I love Harry?

Well, of course yes. He was my boyfriend after all. Even though we hadn't spoken for days, I still loved him. I knew he needed space so I wouldn't bother him.

"Yes," I replied.

"It took you too long to reply," Josh mumbled and I chose to ignore it.

"I do love him, Josh," I said.

"Sure you do," he replied sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "Are you in love with him?"

"Of course I am," I answered too quickly.

"Then call him now. I won't mind listening to my ex girlfriend whom I still love talking to her boyfriend and being all cute over the phone on New Year's eve. I won't mind hearing you and Harry saying 'I love you' back and forth for an hour, then kiss your phone as your New Year's kiss. I really don't mind," he said, his voice was raising at the end.

"I.. I left my phone in my room," I breathed then attempted to leave to get my phone. But Josh placed both hands on my waist and pushed me lightly against the balcony. "I want to get my phone and call my boyfriend," I said.

"No, you left it. It's clear that you didn't expect a motherfucking call from him in New Year," he said through gritted teeth.

"But I love him," I shot back. "I love him so freaking much that it hurts. He.. he just needs space and I don't want to bother him."

"Really? What kind of space does he need, that you don't even speak to each other, even to say a fucking 'Happy New Year'?" he replied loudly, practically yelled.

A wind blew, flipped my hair and made me felt really cold. I shuddered and rubbed my arms with my hands to warm them.

"Cold?" he asked. Before I could reply, he said again, "of course you are. That was a stupid question."

He then took off his jumper and handed it to me. I mumbled a thank you and put it on, feeling warmer. His scent was different, meant that he changed his cologne. But I could faintly smell his body scent and it was still the same. I inhaled deeply since the smell of his new cologne was really nice.

"New cologne?"

"Yeah," he replied shortly. He looked at me intently and I refused to meet his gaze so I just looked at the ceiling above us.

"He's your friend," I said after a pause.

"I know," he replied. I gulped, not knowing what to respond. Then he continued, "this is fucked up, I know. I love my friend's bird. But hey, Louis fucked his best friend's girlfriend and I heard that she was a virgin before. I think everyone's kinda fucked up. We're all fucked up."

I stayed silent. He was right. We were all so fucked up. And Harry was the victim of everything. His ex girlfriend was stolen by his closest friend and now his current girlfriend was about to be stolen by his other friend. This made me want to stay the hell away from Josh even more. I didn't want to fall into his trap and hurt Harry. Harry was such an angel and hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do.

After silence for a minute or two, Josh said, "wait here. Don't go anywhere or you're doomed."

I knew better so I kept my feet planted on the floor. Less than a minute later, he came back with my phone in hand. He handed it to me and said, "call him. This is your last chance. It's almost midnight."

I took it and glanced at the time, 11:54 PM. Sighing, I dialed Harry's number, hoping he would pick up.

It felt like endless rings had passed until it finally reached his voicemail. Harry's recorded voice made my stomach churn. I tried again, and after two attempts, I gave up.

"He didn't pick up," I sighed.

"I'm not surprised. He's probably fucking Camille right now."

"He's not like that!" I yelled furiously. I was clearly offended that Josh would think that low of Harry.

"Okay, he's probably not. But just to know, he's been seeing Camille lately," Josh replied.

"Stop it," I scolded. I hated him. I just wanted him to just disappear forever. He ruined my New Year's eve.

"On the last day before the break, I overheard Harry talking to Lou in the dressing room. He told her that he met Camille at a club, and met her again at Tesco. I didn't know exactly what he said, but he's been seeing Camille."

"Bullshit!" I screamed, pushing his chest. But he was strong that he didn't budge. "Stop feeding me with lies! I don't believe you."

"Okay, I don't really have evidence anyway," he shrugged, taking a step back so he was no longer standing in my personal space. "I was just saying. They could be together right now. Or maybe not. Who knows."

"It's not your business anyway."

"Well, it is," he replied, challenging me. "I love you, Leigh. And what I did was wrong, I just realized it now. To be fucking honest, I really hope Harry's with Camille right now so you'll have a reason to leave him for me."

His honesty made my chest tightened and my heart fluttered. I still had feelings for him, but I couldn't fall for his words. He was bullshitting me. He wasn't sorry at all, I knew it. He would just pretend to be sorry and sweet, then trap me and rape me again. He was evil, and I had lost all of my trust on him.

What we once had was over, doomed, ruined, wrecked. He destroyed everything, he broke what was left of me that I had nothing, completely nothing to give. He was nothing but a past nightmare. All he did was playing games for his own pleasure. My misery turned him on, and my tears of suffer satisfied his thirst.

"What you did was unforgivable. You raped me, made me feel low, so fucking low. You wrecked my dignity, you destroyed my trust. Whatever happens with Harry, I'm not crawling back to you like a pathetic troll," I spat.

"It was your fault!" he exclaimed. "I turned into an arse monster like that because of you!"

"Me? What did I do?" I shouted. "Oh yea, it was all my fault. I turned you into a monster because I loved you, because I gave all of my trust to you, because I gave you all of me, my heart, my soul, and my body to you!" I screamed.

"It's not that!" he fired back. "It-"

The chanting from inside shut us up. They were counting the final ten seconds.




We stayed silent, didn't know what to do. I still had something or two to say to him, but the year was about to change and I didn't want to start the new year with a screaming match.


Our chest heaved, synchronizing the rhythm of our heavy breaths. He was staring at me, practically without blinking, and I averted my gaze to the left side.



Everyone was cheering and the fireworks went off. I felt Josh took a quick step towards me and tilted my chin upwards, forced me to meet his wild eyes. He leaned in and I tilted my head to the side so he could only kiss my cheek.

Josh growled in frustration and grabbed my face harshly. He had me pinned against the balcony and I was trapped. This monster leaned in again, then pressed his sinful lips against mine forcefully.

His lips moved wildly against my still ones, and I fought so hard not to kiss back. He bit my bottom lip but I still pressed my lips together, refusing to part them.

"Kiss me," Josh growled against my lips. I shook my head and that made him gripped my face tighter. I tried to push him away but failed. But finally he pulled away.

"Please, kiss me. Just one kiss. One kiss and I won't try again, I promise," he pleaded. He sounded so desperate and I couldn't help but nodded.

He kissed me again, and I unwillingly kissed back slowly. As the fireworks erupted in the background, our lips moved in sync, slowly and tenderly. His hands moved to my waist and pulled me closer so our lower body were touching. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer.

My heart fluttered and butterflies were having a crazy party inside my stomach. My brain was shut off and the only thing I could think of was Josh's lips and the sound of fireworks and the sound of people cheering. At that moment, I felt like they were cheering for us.

I was starting to run out of breath. I pulled away just for a brief moment before I attached my lips back to his. I could feel him smirked against my lips as he ran his hands all over my sides and my lower back. Never once his hand touched my bum and I was grateful. I ran my hands all over him, feeling his strong muscles.

We finally pulled away after the passionate kiss. He rested his forehead on mine and we just looked at each other. It was until I realized what in the world was going on.

I gasped and pushed him away. I was panting and so was he. Fortunately he took three steps back. I began to tear up as realization hit me like a truck, but refused to cry so I blinked back the tears. My mind was racing with millions of thoughts but I just couldn't get it together. It was like a chaos inside my head.

Josh took a step forward but I held my hand up. "Don't." I stated firmly, still panting. I gazed at him with wide cautious eyes.

"Don't what?"

"Don't come near me," I said, swallowing thickly. My  heart was hammering wildly inside my chest and my whole body was trembling.

"Tell me," he said lowly. There was a pause before he continued, "tell me what you felt."

"About what?" I croaked.

"The kiss. Tell me what you felt," he demanded.

"I-it was.. like.." I trailed off, didn't know what to answer him. "Like.. a kiss..?" I finally said, and it sounded like a question.

"You know what, you don't have to answer that," he said. "You kissed back, hands all over me. It's so damn obvious," he stated.

"No, it's not like that," I defended.

"It is," he replied.

"It's not!"

"Then what is it, Leigh? Tell me what it is!" he yelled. He stepped forward and gripped my wrists abruptly.

I was pretty much paralyzed and speechless. I didn't know what to say. I was completely scared; scared because of what I felt when we kissed. I was scared because I did enjoy the kiss. I was scared because I hadn't felt like this for a long time.

"It is what it is," he said finally, voice low and barely audible. "You feel that. You just don't acknowledge it. You don't want to acknowledge it. And if you do, you just don't want to admit it," he continued, loosening his grip on my wrists. I let my hands fell to my sides. "You're not ready to find out what you feel. You're not ready for any twisted shit that's bound to happen. You're tired of it. You don't want to hurt Harry, or yourself."

I shook my head, blinking back the tears. Not because what he said was wrong, but because every single word that left his pink plump lips was so damn accurate.

After all, he still knew me all to well.

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