Over Again (18+)

Camille's relationship with Harry was perfect until she was torn and cheated. Things got worse after Harry found out and troubles came over. Before everything has fixed, another troubles came again and broke hearts into pieces. Trust was broken, friendship was betrayed. Could Camille make everything straight and start this over again?

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46. Clouded Mind

The trees seemed like they were moving in opposite direction as the train I was in passed them. I leaned my head against the window and watched the view of the countryside outside the window. There weren't too many houses, and no tall buildings. It was calming and relaxing, out of the hectic of the busy town.

The sky was dark outside although it was just seven in the evening. The unfriendly weather made the sky looked darker. The rain was pouring and it was quite cold since this cheap train didn't have proper heater

I tightened my jumper around my frame to keep myself warm. It was middle December, 16th December to be exact and the weather was cold. I ran my fingers through my blonde hair and looked around my surroundings. The train wasn't crowded. There were some empty seats. It wasn't surprising though. There were not many people who wanted to go to Leicester.

Can We Dance by The Vamps was playing from my earphone, and I tapped my foot along the beat. As the song ended, I pulled my phone from my pocket to change the song. I unlocked my phone, ignored tons of missed calls and unread texts from Harry then played Towers by Little Mix. I shoved my phone back to my pocket then sighed deeply, squeezed my eyes shut.

I knew Harry had been worried sick about me. Knowing him, he would be flipping and freaking out big time. I felt so bad for leaving without telling him, but my mind was so fucked up.

Right after Josh 'marked' me, I quickly scurried out of the studio, called a cab and headed straight to the railway station. I took a train home without looking back.

The hickey was clearly visible on my neck. Even in my jumper, everyone could notice the love bite if they looked closely. Its presence made me feel really different, and it was strange. It was like I didn't recognize myself anymore. It felt like the soul in my flesh wasn't me. I had never felt this way before, and it was completely frustrating. I couldn't think straight. Josh's shadow was haunting me down every time I blinked. I saw his face every time I closed my eyes. His sharp brown eyes was all I saw behind my closed eyelids.

The song I was listening to didn't help me any better. It just made me worse and made me want to crawl into a hole and lock myself there forever. The lyrics was stabbing me continuously as the beautiful voices of Leigh-Anne, Perrie, Jade, and Jesy filled my ears. This song was my favorite song of their album, Salute, but at the moment I felt like crying as the lyrics sunk into my already fucked up brain.

Why did he do this to me? What was my fault? I didn't recall doing anything wrong to him. He started being abusive to me after his father passed away. Well, I knew he was terribly upset about the fact that his father had gone. But he didn't have any rights to pour all his anger and rage to me. He hated me that much as if I had caused his father's death.

He had made my life miserable like hell when he used me as his sex slave. And after I could finally escape and built the new life in London, he showed up out of nowhere. When I finally found my happiness that was Harry, he ruined it. He literally ruined everything.

I knew it was just a love bite that would disappear in two or three days. But he made me feel something I couldn't tell, and it drove me insane. My sanity flew away as I traced my fingers on the mark Josh had left me. My stomach twisted and I could practically feel Josh's hot breath against my neck and his lips pressed against my skin.

To calm myself and figure out about my feelings, I decided to be away from either Harry or Josh. I guessed home was the perfect place.

I opened my eyes and looked outside the window again. The view of a city met my gaze and soon I figured I was in Northampton. Well, that meant I would be arrived in Leicester in about forty minutes. I would see my home again, and come to my family after two years leaving to London without looking back.

This was going to be a long night.

 

LOUIS' POV

"Mate, calm down. We'll call the police if we still can't find her by tomorrow morning," I said, patted Harry on the shoulder gently. But that curly haired lad flinched at the contact and swatted my hand away furiously. He tapped on his smartphone desperately, tried to call the only person he had been dialing. But like his attempts before, the call went straight to Leigh's voice mail.

"She's been missing since this morning," Harry said in shaky voice. His voice was raspier due to crying. He shook his head in frustration and ran his hands to his thick curls haphazardly.

"I know how you feel," I said in soft voice.

Well, I really did. I knew exactly what it felt like to be in Harry's position. We all knew what it felt like to wait for someone who went missing, clueless about what would happen. There was no certain thing; anything could happen.

It brought my memories back to the day when Harry was gone missing. We all waited desperately, worried and clueless about what was going on with Harry. And that time Harry ended up being kidnapped.

We all didn't want this to happen to Leigh. Even though we weren't really close to that blonde, we knew how much she meant to Harry. And it would really break my heart if something bad really happened to that girl.

"Let's go to bed," I sighed, pushed my arse off the couch and stood up. I glanced at the clock, it was bloody eleven and I was very tired like hell.

"Yeah I'm tired," Liam yawned.

"Just wait until tomorrow, yeah?" Zayn said.

"No!" Harry exclaimed. "I won't sleep before my Leigh is back," he said stubbornly.

"Come on Harry. You need to take a rest. You look like a big ball of mess," I said and Liam shot me a glare. Well, I was right, though. Don't blame me, Harry's face looked like it had lost all its colors. His eyes were bloodshot and tired, his hair was messy since he had ran his hands through it countless times. He looked so pale, like he had been ill. He looked like a ghost.

"You really need to go to bed," I said, pulled Harry's hand and tugged him to his bedroom. He didn't try to protest and just obeyed like a lost puppy. It wasn't surprising knowing he had lost his energy. He was really exhausted and he needed sleep.

"Do you need a cuddle buddy?" I inquired as we walked into Harry's bedroom.

"Yes please," Harry replied, voice think and hoarse. He positioned himself into lying position on the comfortable bed. I did the same and laid next to my best friend, then wrapped my arms around his body. I stroked his back soothingly in the way he always liked. He snuggled closer to me and buried his face on my chest.

There was no doubt that Leigh meant the world to Harry. After his rough break up and everything that had happened to him in the past months - which basically caused by me, he had become so fragile. But Leigh had been there for him in his lowest times. She was there to pick up the broken pieces and mend his broken heart. He became so lost without her, because she was basically his happiness after she split up with Camille.

Speaking of Camille, we hadn't talked after we broke up. I hadn't seen her, except that one time in Tesco. I was shopping when I saw her, strolling down the aisle in Tesco uniform with stock of Nutella in her hands. Apparently she worked there. The second I saw her, being a fucking pussy I was, I quickly discarded my cart and left the store before she could acknowledge my presence. And it was the day I promised myself I wouldn't go to Tesco again.

We didn't talk, but that didn't mean that I hadn't gotten over her. Well, the first three days after we broke up had been hell for me. I felt like shit, so low and upset. But after a week, I had completely gotten over her. I didn't hold a grudge against her. I didn't know how I managed to get over her that quick since I couldn't handle break ups well. It was funny though, knowing how hard I tried to get her and we were just split and got over each other that easy. I wondered why we dated at the first place.

Maybe she wasn't the one. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. I shouldn't had stolen her from Harry. I still felt guilty, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. It made me feel like shit. I hated feeling guilty. But if I didn't make Camille cheated on Harry, he wouldn't had met Leigh, right?

At the moment, I felt like missing Eleanor. There was a tingling feeling every time I thought about her. There was something that bothered me every time thoughts about Eleanor crossed my mind. I didn't know what that shit what, I just couldn't put a finger on it.

I heard Harry snored lightly in his slumber next to me. I looked at the face of the only teenager in the band, he looked so tired yet so peaceful. I removed some strands of his curls off his face and noticed that his hair was too long so it sometimes covered his eyes. I had to remind him to have a haircut instead of wearing silly ass headband and fedoras.

I unlocked my phone and saw that it was already one in the morning. So I had been lying here thinking for an hour. I closed my eyes, tried to sleep but I couldn't. I did feel tired, but the slumber was so far away from me.

Suddenly, I heard the intro of 'Walking On Air', followed by Katy Perry's voice. I was startled, and in my anxiety I blindly searched for the source of the loud ass noise. I realized that it was Harry's fucking ringtone. It was noisy, and I was afraid Harry would wake up.

Harry groaned in his sleep at the noise and muttered something I could make out then went back to sleep. Finally, I found his phone under his pillow. I grabbed his phone and looked at the caller id.

It was Leigh.

Bloody hell.

My heart was beating fast, and I pondered for a second whether to wake Harry up or not. I decided to let Harry sleep and slid my fingers on the screen to answer the call.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Uh.. Louis?" Leigh asked, her voice was trembling and I could tell she had been crying.

"Where are you, Leigh?" I asked, my tone was full of concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay," she breathed. "Is Harry asleep?" she inquired.

"Yeah, should I wake him up?" I questioned.

"No."

"Where are you, Leigh?" I asked.

"I'm at home," she sniffed. I sighed in relief and mentally thanked God. It was like a weigh had been lifted off my shoulder knowing she was home and safe.

"We've been worrying about you y'know," I said softly. "Especially Harry," I sighed. I kept my voice low and quiet so Harry wouldn't wake up. I knew he wouldn't mind me waking him up to talk to Leigh, but he really needed some good sleep.

"How's Harry?" She asked quickly.

"He worries about you a lot," I replied. "He's like a ball of mess," I mentioned my remark earlier.

There was a big question mark in my head. What the fuck happened to Leigh? Why was she crying? Was she really okay?

"I feel bad," she muttered quietly. "I'm really sorry."

"We'll come over to your place tomorrow morning," I said.

"I'm not in the motel," she sighed.

"Then where are you?" I asked, wrinkled my forehead in confusion. As far as I knew, Leigh didn't have any house beside her father's motel.

"Home," she answered. "In Leicester," she added.

"What the fuck are you doing there? Why didn't you tell us you were going to Leicester?" I asked in surprise. I had never expected her going to other town without telling us.

Why did she leave without at least telling Harry? Did she sneak up? Why did she go there?

And she was from Leicester?

Why the fuck didn't I know that before?

I was sure something was up with her. There must had been something she didn't want Harry to know.

But what was it?

"Louis?" Leigh's voice at the other end of the line snapped me out of my thoughts. Crap, I didn't realize I had been drifting off. I didn't even know what she was saying while I was drifting off. Before I could reply, I heard a beep, meant that she had fucking disconnected the call.

Shit, I was too lost in my thoughts so I forgot that I was on the phone with Leigh. I huffed then dialed Leigh. But to my luck, the call went straight to the voice mail.

I stared at Harry's blank phone screen and let my brain process the information I just received. I took a deep breath then put Harry's phone on the dresser. Why did Leigh call at one in the fucking morning? What the fuck was going on with her?

I pushed the thoughts aside as tiredness filled my body. I made myself comfortable on Harry's bed then held Harry's frame tightly as I drifted to the world of sleep.

 

LEIGH'S POV

After I finished my breakfast, I went back to my old bedroom since I had nothing to do. My mother went to her friend's house and my father was still in London. I walked down the hallway to my old bedroom and walked in carefully, like the room was fragile and it could break in any minute. I inhaled the familiar scent deeply, and took in my surroundings. I slept here last night, but I arrived late at night and I was too tired to pay attention on my room. I looked around the room, it was practically the same as the last time I was here; before Josh dragged me out and locked me in his flat.

My mind automatically drifted to the day when I was here for the last time. I remembered watching the highlight of el clasico in my laptop while lying lazily on my bed when suddenly Josh barged in through the door, grabbed my wrist abruptly and harshly dragged me out of bed, caused my laptop to fall on the floor. His fuming face was clear in my vision, his eyes were flaring in anger and I could practically feel his harsh grip on my wrist. I didn't even have a chance to protest, or take anything with me. I was literally dragged out, left my phone on the bed and my cracked laptop on the floor.

At first I didn't have any suspicion or negative thoughts about him forcefully brought me to his flat. I thought he was in a shit ass mood or upset and he just needed me to comfort him. I didn't know that that night he had turned into a wicked devil.

Thinking of him made my hand involuntary moved to my neck, and my fingertips traced the spot he marked on my neck. When I looked at the mirror on my left side, the hideous mark was still visible.

I sighed sadly and looked around the room, tried to push Josh to the back of my mind and replace the horrible memories with the memories of my childhood here. But every single thing in the room reminded me of him. Everything reminded me to the once sweet, caring, gentle, and loving blue eyed boy I used to be in love with.

Every memory from this place was the good ones, but it was always about him. It was the good times before he turned into an abusive demon. I sat on my bed, the soft mattress reminded me of when we made love for the first time, on this bed. As I caress my cheek with my fingers, I almost felt Josh's gentle touch. In this bed, we used to lay here, cuddling. He used to hold me closely and protectively, and his thumb caressed my back soothingly. I would just listen to his comforting heartbeat until I fell asleep.

My eyes traveled to the wooden desk across from the bed, right in front of the window. As I stared at it, memories flooded into my mind like a soundless movie.

 

March 17th 2009

The equation were twirling and spinning in front of my head, making me dizzy. I had tried to think any way to solve this goddamned problem, but I always came into dead end. I bit the edge of my pen and leaned my back against the backrest, started hopelessly at the book with those obnoxious equations.

How the hell could I solve this? How could I find the x when there was also y in the equation? Not to mention the root terms. Math was really infuriating, it was my biggest weakness at school. That subject was actually fun, until Satan decided to put alphabet in it.

I huffed in annoyance and crossed my arms in front of my chest. This math homework was such a pure torture. I could had been with my crush, watching football match between Leicester and Bournemouth by then. I could had been having a nice and lovely time, with the boy I had my eyes on.

"You twat," I hissed and glared at the obnoxious equation. "Stop finding your goddamn x. She's not coming back. Just move on already."

"I'm not finding my ex. I'm already over her," a deep voice replied, followed by a familiar face popped from the window in front of me.

I jumped from my seat in surprise, and series of curse words rolled out of my lips. The chair fell to the floor and I landed with my bum on the hard ceramic floor. I placed my hand on my chest and panted slightly, my heart beat above the rate.

"Holy shit Josh! You scared the life out of me!" I exclaimed, attempted to get up. As I lifted my bum a little bit, pain radiated to my body. "Ouch!" I whimpered.

Josh laughed, his voice ignited the butterflies inside my stomach. So this was it felt like, to have a crush on someone.

"Aw Leigh, is that cute little arse of yours hurt?" Josh remarked in silly voice, made me blush bright red.

He said my bum was cute?

I bit my lip and watched Josh opened the window then jumped through it, landed on my desk. He pulled his feet to sitting position on my desk, kicking my assignment book in process.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, not because I didn't want him to be here, but I was really curious.

"I do what I want," he shrugged nonchalantly. I raised an eyebrow and he chuckled. "You don't want me to be here?"

"Well it's fine that you're here," I replied, shrugging. He got off the desk then offered his hand to me to help me up. I ignored the pain in my bum as I took his hand and pulled myself to standing position. As I got on my feet, he didn't instantly let go of my hand. Our hands stayed entwined for seconds before I pulled my hand and thanked him.

"So," he trailed off awkwardly. "Who was you were talking to earlier?" He inquired, that typical playful smirk of his slanted across his face.

"Uh," I bit my bottom lip, quite a habit of me. "Well I was scolding my homework," I said and smiled sheepishly. Josh laughed loudly, and I felt my heart warmed.

"You silly," Josh chuckled, pinched my burning cheek.

"The homework is such a bitch," I muttered, tried to ignore the pound in my heart as that simple gesture made the butterflies in my stomach went wild. I picked up the book he accidentally kicked and showed him the repulsive equation.

"You have trouble in that?" He asked as he scanned the pages.

"Well, you clearly do," he said before I could reply. "All the answers here are wrong," he chuckled.

"Oh," I frowned. I was sure I would fail in this class.

"Don't pout," he cooed.

"I think I'll never be able to solve math problems," I sighed in desperation.

"You can," he replied, squeezed my arm gently. I just shook my head and sat in front of my desk with frown plastered on my face.

"Smile, it looks good on you," he said cheekily and I couldn't help but blush. "I'll be your private tutor on math," he offered.

"Well," I trailed off, pondering the idea of him being my math tutor. The idea sounded appealing, I mean, how could I reject that offer? My crush teaching the subject I hated the most, that was literally perfect. "Okay," I finally said with a small smile.

Josh taught me how to solve these equations. Turned out it was pretty easy if you knew the method. In just thirty minutes, ten equations were solved.

"Thanks for the help, Josh," I said sincerely.

"It's nothing," he replied smiling. I smiled back, and that time I got lost in his gorgeous brown eyes. I took in his features, his face was really beautiful. Those eyes were so enchanting, and his slightly parted pink lips were so kissable. His brown hair was a bit messy in a cool way, and his eyebrows were so adorable.

I didn't realize I was eye-raping him until he snapped his fingers in front of me, brought my sanity back to my body.

"Hello, earth to Leigh Fabregas," he said.

"Oh sorry," I said, smiling shyly. I hope I didn't drool at him. "What did you say?"

"I said, I think I like you," he replied, his gaze was fixing to my eyes.

My breath hitched, and it felt like the world stopped spinning for a second. He said he liked me? Was this even real?

My motherfucking crush said he bloody liked me!

But wait, what if I heard wrong? What if it was just my crazy imagination?

"What?" I whispered.

"You heard me," he said.

"What if I heard wrong?"

"You heard it right babe," he replied flirtatiously.

"You twat," I rolled my eyes.

I mentally face palmed myself for saying he was a twat instead of an 'I like you too'. Well done, Leigh. Your crush said that he liked you and out of all things, you called him a twat. Brilliant response.

I blushed furiously, and suddenly the tiled floor became really interesting to be stared. After a few seconds that felt like hours, Josh laughed loudly.

"W-what?" I looked up at him.

"You're so adorable, babe!" he laughed.

"Sorry that was stupid of me," I muttered, my cheek turned even redder. Well, he could put a glass of water against my cheek and it would surely boil.

"Well, I'm a twat for liking you?" he asked cheekily, raised his eyebrow at me and chuckled.

"I like you too," I blurted out. Well, this was really awkward. I looked at the floor again and played with my fingers. My bottom lip was trapped between my teeth.

I felt Josh put two fingers under my chin then lifted my chin gently. My eyes automatically got locked in his, and instantly got lost. His face was getting closer to mine, I could feel his breath against my lips. And before I knew it, there was no space between our lips as he gently pressed his lips against mine.

I was frozen at first, a little bit taken aback with his action. My brain stopped working, but like an automatic gesture, I automatically kissed back without thinking. The kiss was sweet and gentle, his lips felt soft and tender. Our lips molded together and moved slowly, I could hear Josh hummed against my lips.

Well, in front of the wooden desk, Josh and I kissed for the first time.

 

Present time

I sighed deeply, reluctantly tore my gaze from the desk. I spotted my phone on the nightstand beside the bed. The battery of the phone was next to the phone. I remembered taking the battery off after I talked to Louis on the phone. I put the battery back to the phone and turned it on. As the phone came to life, I noticed the battery level was only 9%. I connected the device to the charger then put it on the nightstand.

I sat on the bed, my thoughts were going crazy. Every time I tried to think about anything else, Josh always managed to shove himself into my mind. Every little things reminded me of him. Did he put a motherfucking spell in the hickey?!

Josh didn't deserve to be on my mind. He wasn't worth it. He used me as sex slave, he ditched me, he slayed me mentally, he treated me like I was a piece of turd. He made me feel horrible. I had never treated that bad by someone. He was the worst human being ever.

My mind went to Harry, my boyfriend. Yes, he was my boyfriend. He was the one who deserved my attention. He took me to Stamford Bridge to meet my biggest idol. He was the true gentleman. He treated me like a princess, like I was the only girl in the world. He made me feel like I was the luckiest girl in the whole world. And as a bonus, he had the face of a sex god. Every girl in the world was dying to be in my position.

I checked my phone, and there were shit loads of text messages and missed calls. One missed call from Louis, and the rest were from Harry. Not to mention the texts I received from Harry which none of them I read.

I didn't think I was ready to read his texts. I was sure he was very anxious and worried. I knew I hurt him. What I did to him was exactly like what Camille had done; leaving him without any words. Well, Camille was much better than me though. She still left a letter to him to ease the blow.

I knew I was wrong. I knew I was the one to blame. But I was completely messed up, thanks to Josh. Damn, Josh came again into my mind. I focused my attention to Harry's texts to get Josh off my mind. I read a few, and all of them were along the lines of asking me where I was, and also asking for explanation. My judgement was clouded, my mind was covered with dust.

Before I could think straight, I tapped away on my phone, each words I typed formed a text message for Harry. I was sure as hell I didn't know what I was doing. My fingers moved themselves without any control and without being authorized by my brain. I didn't get to read what I had typed as I hit send.

My eyes bulged in surprise and I finally read the message I just sent to him.

"Harry, we're over. I'm sorry"

I gasped, my heart stopped beating as I read the text I sent over and over again. Shivers ran down my spine as realization hit me.

I just broke up with Harry over a text message.

 

A/N:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY

IT'S HARRY'S BIRTHDAY I'M FLIPPING

Oh well.

HARRY IS 20 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THAT'S A TOTAL BULLSHIT

HE IS 17 IN MY MIND

HARRY IS 17

......

Oh my God!! I'm so sorry for not updating for ages! I was really busy with school!

I'm really sorry, and I know I've lost A LOT of readers. And it's sad ))):

Well, I know I won't be able to update frequently so please understand. I really love you guys but I have to put school as my first priority.

Anyway.. in Louis' POV, it was said that Harry was the only teenager in the band. Yeah I said that. I wrote that part in January, so don't blame me haha

When I re-read that part (that is right now, February 1st), my heart breaks into pieces because 5/5 AREN'T TEENAGER ANYMORE

I'M NOT CRYING MY EYES ARE JUST SWEATING

Okay. I need to stop fangirling here.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I've planned something (hopefully) unexpected for the rest of the story, so I hope you'll still stick around even it takes me ages to update.

Love you loads!

Haha I hope at least one person read this.

Love,

Denna xx

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