violence vs reality

I was born and raised in Southern California, my dad is Australia and my mom was born in Tennessee. I'm 17 years old, my family is rich, well in a way they are. I get abused by my parents all the time, they threaten me if I ever told anyone I'd get it. Get it? What does that even mean? Does it mean that they'll kill me? Well I don't know, I really hate my life at the moment, my boyfriend well... His name is Drake and he's a controlling type, if I don’t do anything he says well bad things happen. Hi there, I'm Ashton this is my story.


16. the pains

2 years later,

It was a Friday evening, 3 more days until Justin’s Believe album comes out. His fan will enjoy it, it has some mean beat to it and some catchy tunes, like the song with Nicki Minaj, I think its called Beauty and a Beat, that song is one of my many favorites. Justin released a single a year ago called Boyfriend, it’s his way of letting fans into his life of what could be their chance of what he’s like as a boyfriend through the song, that too is also my favorite song. I was waiting in the car for Justin, I didn’t feel my best today, I’ve had these weird pains in my stomach like period pains, but it’s not. I was craving for McDonald, I hate that place but I wanted some McDonald's. I texted Justin, “be back soon, I’m hungry, need food,” I sent it and I started the car up and drove off. I felt sick, I shouldn’t even be driving but I am so tough cookies. I arrived at McDonald's, I walked inside trying to stand up straight, fuck what is wrong with me. I rushed to the bathroom and kneeled down to the toilet basin, it felt like I wanted to throw up or my kidneys were about to burst. I sat there on the ground for a couple of minutes, nothing happened but a rumbling tummy. Obviously I was hungry, I walked out and went to the counter, “Hi, what can I get for you?” asked the kind lady, “I will have a chicken deluxe large combo with a strawberry milkshake please,” I replied. I paid for my order and waited. I was so hungry, it was like I was starving for a meltdown. I finally got my order and I left. I drove back to the studio, as I was waiting I ate my meal, it was so good Chicken Deluxe was the best burger in the world.


Justin had finally finished his recording session to fix the mix ups of his new album. I smiled, “Had fun?” I asked him, “No, you weren’t in there to enjoy it,” he smiled back at me and then spoke again, “how you are feeling? Any better?” I shocked my head for the answer no, I had some food and it didn’t work I thought I was just hungry cause I haven’t eaten all day, but that was not the answer. I started the car again, it was a little hot so I winded down the window. When we arrived home I went straight to my room to lay down, I’ve never felt this sick in my whole life, I’m never sick so how is this even possible. I can’t think straight, I get restless easily and I can’t sleep well, is this meant to mean something or just some fantasy I’m living in. Justin came in, he gave me a drink of water and panadol to help relieve the pain, let’s hope this works I said to myself. My life has been ups and downs, normal and now I’m sick. Am I going to die of something that’s incurable or am I going to live. Maybe I have a bad case of bieber fever, well you know I’m around him 24/7 so he must’ve given me some kind of disease, oh no! What have I done? “Justin,” I say, I continue “is it possible to get bieber fever that’s incurable?” I said serious. He laughed his head off, no joke he couldn’t stop laughing until he looked at my face, “oh wait, your serious,” I nodded, of course I was serious I’m not stupid, “No babe, it’s not possible but you can be attached me?” he sounds confused, but he hugs me to tell me it’s okay, that I’m not delusional of some sort. I was tired so I went to bed early.


Next morning, I seemed fine I was my normal chirpy self, I would get up and do some of my daily routines like doing my exercises in the gym down the road. I didn’t want to rush myself in these activities just in case I may have something wrong with me and I might hurt myself. I went swimming in our pool at home, it was an indoor pool, heated it was how I liked it. I would do some average back-flips and my normal handstands, I would casually show off in front of Justin, because you see he can’t do any of that, he’s too much of a chicken to try. Since I haven’t been going for runs, I’ve did a run around our neighborhood every morning at exactly 6am that way I’m when Justin is awake. It was about around 2pm in the afternoon I’ve started getting a really sharp pain in my torso again, I practically collapsed to the ground, I screamed, “JUSTIN!!!!” he came rushing over to me, he called the ambulance. This wasn’t normal I don’t know what’s going through my head, I couldn’t stop screaming, it was so sharp that I couldn’t move an inch of my body.  I hate this now, I want it to stop.

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