Letters to You


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1. the last letter

 

         oh my this is such a short short chapter but its a new start-.

Dear Niall,

   You're reading this letter wondering why. Your tearing at the remaining pictures on the wall, and your throwing things everywhere, screaming, blaming yourself for it all. Your tears are falling on the paper and you just cant stop crying, you just dont know why i did it. Im hoping this pain isnt eternal, I'm hoping you find that somebody. I was your first true love, but I wasn't your soul-mate, I wish I could've been. Niall im hoping you live on and live your life to its fullest.

                           Please don't blame yourself.  Because I never did.

    I've been depressed for a while now, but everything got worse when we confessed our love to them, people just couldn't accept me. In all honesty, I don't blame you, not one bit, and I never will. I could've been strong, I should've. I'm sorry to be so selfish and leave you. But this pain inside, this built up knot in my stomach, the hole in my chest. just got bigger and bigger. I was empty, physically I was here, but mentally I was gone. When you would look into my eyes, it wasn't me staring back, i was gone.

I'm sorry i lied. Each day you walked out of that door to the studio, out to go tour, and live your dreams. I wanted to say something i just couldnt. My lips couldn't make out the words, i'd be a burden. I'd hold you back and I just couldn't do that to my one and only.

    Please know that I did love you, I always have, and I always will.

I have one final wish, it will put me at peace. Find her, find the girl that will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. Because from up above, I'd love to see you smile and I'd love to know that someone has filled that void in your chest. To see you smile and at true peace will let me rest in peace.

         I love you so much my dearest. Please don't forget that and please don't forget me.

 

                                                                       Yours forever and always, Asher.

 

 

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