Fucked up (1D)

The 17 year old Mary Jane Moore, lives a normal life - until on her 17th birthday, where her loving parents tragically dies in a car accident. The young man behind the opposing car survives - but he is no ordinary boy. What will happen when Mary Jane is forced to meet the "killer" of her parents? And what will happen to her after her parents death?

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38. Louis

Her voice was echoing in my head, telling me to leave Harry - telling me that it was my fault she died, that it hurt her to see me be happy in this time. A tear ran down my cheek, as the voice in my own head replayed what a terrible person I was, a stupid. worthless, idiotic bimbo, who was self-centered, unforgiving, and with no self-control. The razor cut a little deeper, as I shook my head, not wanting to listen, not wanting to do it. But the voice was right. I had no self-control, absolutely no sense of reality, just walking around in a nightmare. I looked down at the blood covering my hands. My head was spinning, and my brain felt like it was going to pop out of my head, but I kept going, kept making deep and long slits down my arms, legs, stomach… the blood surfaced, and the pain in my body was overwhelming, making it hard for me to feel the pain inside. I turned on the water, letting it fall down onto my body, rinsing off the blood. I couldn't make a mess in here. After all, both Harry and the boys lived here now, as they didn't want to leave me out of sight.

"Jane?" Louis knocked on the door. He must've noticed how long I'd been in the bathroom. Zayn was with Perrie, and Liam and Niall were out with Harry, trying to get his mind off everything. Louis volunteered to stay back with me, even though I was positive he hadn't seen Eleanor in weeks. I tried to say something, but my voice squeaked like a mouse, when I opened my mouth. Louis tried to open the door, but was unsuccessful.

"Not funny. Janie, please?" he asked, panicking a bit. I didn't want him to see me this way - naked, soaked, mascara running down my cheeks, mixing with the thin layer of red from the blood I'd accidentally rubbed onto my face. I heard him take a step back, as he kicked once at the door. When he wouldn't open, he walked away, probably to the kitchen to find a key. I was shaking as the cold water kept running down into my face, rinsing me off, making me close my eyes, trying to shut everything out. The razor was clasped in my hand, and I had a tight grip around it, undoubtedly making a deep and long cut on the palm of my hand. It didn't hurt. I heard Lou's fast steps walking towards the door, as he put in a key and turned it, with no problem at all. He waited a second with opening the door. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his facial expressing when he saw me. The door creaked open, and he gasped. He rushed to my side, and I could feel his arms underneath my knees, and on my back.

"No…" I said, as  I was totally aware of my lack of clothes.

"I've seen a girl naked before, so that's not important…" he whispered, as he picked me up, and tried to regain his balance. We stood still for a second, and I felt him manouvering over to the tap, turning off the water. His arm got wet, and I felt his hair drip onto my face a little bit. My body was numb. He took a towel from the cupboard under the sink, and put it over me, covering everything that needed to be covered, as he took me to my room, and tucked me in. The razor was till in my hand, and he opened it carefully, uncovering the big wound it'd created. It wasn't as deep as I'd anticipated. It didn't need sowing, anyways. He took the razor from me, and walked out the room. I heard the trash-can in the kitchen be opened and closed. Then he was searching inside the closets, looking for a first-aid kit. My heart was pounding, and I felt a giant need to sleep. So I did. And the only thing I felt throughout the night, was Louis cleaning and patching up the open cuts, while singing to me, slowly, almost making fun of the song with the manner he was singing it in, but in a good way. I could hear on his voice, he was smiling, and I clearly felt the affection in the lyrics.

"Harry won't let those little things slip, out of his mouth." he laughed a bit, as he tried to make the lyrics fit the melody.

"But if he does, it's you, it's you, they add up to." it didn't rhyme at all.

"He's in love with you, and all those little things." Then I fell asleep.

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