Fucked up (1D)

The 17 year old Mary Jane Moore, lives a normal life - until on her 17th birthday, where her loving parents tragically dies in a car accident. The young man behind the opposing car survives - but he is no ordinary boy. What will happen when Mary Jane is forced to meet the "killer" of her parents? And what will happen to her after her parents death?


53. I found something

Hey everyone,

It's been such a long time since i published this story, and it still moves me reading it again. I went through my computer today, and found the actual ending-note I intended to put in the story when I finished it all those years ago. It's very depressive and deep, as the time I was writing this story in. I just wanted you to have my final word on the story, before i can finally let it go.

This is written on the 11th of August 2013.


I have no direction, no sense of reality. I don't know where to take this - Little bits and pieces come to mind, but it's never enough to finish it off. It's never enough to actually create something believable, something not so utterly cheesy, so weirdly over the top, people will think it's real. And that's a problem. My writer's block has hit the very edge of the cliff. My writers-block is making me wonder what actually is. And even though I'm a terrible person (sometimes) and I'm guilty of people wanting to feel sorry for me, because that is my best weapon, I know - I really know, that I sometimes wish that these stories were real. I sometimes wish, these stories to be my actual life. And even though the girls I write about, all seem like damsels in distress, weak figures who can't take care of themselves, and who lets their fate into the boys' hands, I think the opposite - because I find one of the greatest strengths in life is the ability to ask for help - and to take the help that is given. The subjects of my stories, are usually girls with troubled minds - girls, who are in problems, girls who need a "savior." But I think they are their own savior - By reaching out to people who will be able to save them, they help themselves much more than the person who is trying to save them. And that's what I, myself, ended up doing. I finally asked for help - finally told my story. I finally helped myself. And even though you guys do not know my story, I owe you a thank you.

    Thank you for being with me through this incredible journey in Jane and Harry's lives. I might sound like a total lunatic when I address them as people, but in my minds, they are two amazing people, strong, emotional and able to share their love through one of the most tough times of their lives - I truly admire them for that. And thank you all for reading my story with them. During the writing of this movella, a bunch of things happened, making me even more keen on writing this story for you guys. It's been like an escape, like a hiding-place, where I could just bundle up and let my emotions and feelings flow into my writing - That explains the constant flow of tears in the tone of the story. And I thank you for being there with me on that journey, even though you did not know - I wish you all the best in the future - it's certainly one of the biggest experiences of my life, seeing the favorite-number sky rise, read all of your comments, and cry along with you. Because even though I knew what was going to happen - even though they were characters of my imagination, characters of my making, it still moves me to see what they went through. It hurts me to let them go, and I'm not sure I can. But the only way I could make peace with them, was by letting Janie go. And by letting Harry have some sort of peace. But thank you. Thank you so much. I love you all, and I hope to see you sometime in the future.   Much Love,   MoonlightShining xx'
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