Fucked up (1D)

The 17 year old Mary Jane Moore, lives a normal life - until on her 17th birthday, where her loving parents tragically dies in a car accident. The young man behind the opposing car survives - but he is no ordinary boy. What will happen when Mary Jane is forced to meet the "killer" of her parents? And what will happen to her after her parents death?


42. Gone

I walked out of my room. I had a robe around me, and underneath it, I was wearing one of Harry's T-shirts, and a pair of tight  fitted leggins, to hide the slits along my legs.

"Good morning." Zayn said. He was sitting at the couch, looking at his phone, relaxing.

"What time is it?" I asked, walking  slowly towards the other sofa, sitting down opposite him, fiddling with my sleeves.

"It's like, 7'o'clock."

"Why are you up?" I asked, looking him in the eyes, leaning back against the cold leather.

"Haven't been to sleep. Supposed to take the "first watch" whatever that means… I guess I took the 2nd 3rd and 4th at the same time." He yawned, and smiled at me. It was silent for a moment, and I looked down at my hands, as he looked back at his phone.

"Uuuhm… Zayn?" I asked, carefully.


"I just want to thank you, for the other day. It really helped me, i think… and I'm sorry I snapped at you. It wasn't supposed to be like that." He smiled at me again.

"No problem. Glad I could help you in some way." he said, sitting straight up, kicking off his shoes, and swinging his jean-covered legs up onto the couch, resting his head against the arm-rest.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking at me once, then looking straight out in front of him. 

"I'm not sure." I said, looking at him, trying to catch his gaze.

"I'm sorry if you feel like we're watching your every move. We're just trying to help you. Harry don't want anything to happen to you. Neither does Louis, for that matter." He said, looking me in the eyes. I could feel the sincerity in his voice, making me smile for the first time in days.

"I know… I'm just overwhelmed how you guys want to help him so much with this. It's just mind-blowing to me." I said. He shrugged.

"We usually don't see each other this much in our free-time. This time was special, because of everything that happened with your parents and…" he trailed off, not wanting to bring such a delicate subject up for discussion.

"And I guess we're all strong  believers of wanting to work together as a group outside of work, so we can work more smoothly together at work." he smiled, and sat up again, facing me. I smiled back, and looked down. Then I looked back up at him.

"When are you going to work again?" I asked, the smile left his lips, as he looked down, trying to avoid my gaze.

"Harry wanted to speak to you about all of that." I stood up, and nodded at him. Then I walked quickly towards the door to my room, and before Zayn got to say anything, I opened it, and sat down on my bed. Zayn who'd stood up, and followed after me, was now standing in the door-frame, leaning against it, arms crossed. I could see on his face he regretted what he'd just said. I shook Harry's body, as I tried to wake him up, and he stirred a bit, making me shake harder.

"Careful. Careful, careful, careful." Zayn said, not raising his voice. Harry turned around, and opened his eyes, looking into mine.

"When are you working again?" I asked, demanding an answer.

"Don't lie. When are you leaving me?" I asked again, not even waiting for his answer.

"When is your next tour?" I asked again, standing up. Zayn had left the room, not wanting to witness the "fight" that was about to go down. Harry looked at me, revising what he was going to say.

"We're leaving on the 27th."

My heart dropped. I felt like I was going to puke. I started shaking violently, as I saw my whole world crash on front of me. I didn't have any tears left. I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. I wasn't ready to even talk to him. I was numb. I just stood there, looking at him. Looking at the boy who was now leaving me. Looking at the boy, who was the only reason I was even alive, the only reason I was somewhat living, talking, breathing. He was silent, and he sat up on his knees, looking at me. Then he stood up on the bed, and jumped down onto the floor, right in front of me.

"I don't want to leave. Trust me, I want to stay with you, and be with you, and live here, but it's my job. I have to, and I am so sorry it's at this terrible time, and I'm sorry that I've lied to you. I'm so sorry." He said, like he was trying to prevent me from crying. But I couldn't. I was totally numb, not able to speak, to hear, to do anything. It felt like he had ripped out everything inside me - heart, brain, stomach, everything.

"Doe, say something, please." he said, as he touched my arms, trying to catch my gaze. I stood still, not moving, not talking.

"I know it's in three weeks, and I wanted to tell you sooner. It's just the whole thing with Kylie. I'm so sorry." he whispered, as he tried to pull me into a hug. I did like he wanted me too, and he pulled me close. But unlike ever before, I didn't hug him back. I just stood there, feeling the tears on my shoulder, as he buried his head at the crook of my neck. I could feel nothing. I closed my eyes, and embraced the darkness around me. It felt like I was thrown into a pit with no end. Just flying down, and down, and down, never hitting bottom, but never seeing the top. I was gone. My mind was gone. My heart was gone. 

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