Fucked up (1D)

The 17 year old Mary Jane Moore, lives a normal life - until on her 17th birthday, where her loving parents tragically dies in a car accident. The young man behind the opposing car survives - but he is no ordinary boy. What will happen when Mary Jane is forced to meet the "killer" of her parents? And what will happen to her after her parents death?

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22. Conversation with myself

"Why would he do it?" i asked.

"I honestly have no idea. Maybe it was an accident?"

"Why wouldn't it be... even though I wish I didn't, i do know Harry. He's not a murderer."

"But why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would he come to the funeral? Why would he show up at my doorstep, and why would he kiss me? Why would he touch me? Why even bother in the first place?"

"Maybe he loves you?"

"No, impossible. He felt sorry for me, felt that I was in need of somebody. Bullshit."

"No, I really think he loved you."

"Not a chance - first of all, how could he love someone of whom he killed her parents? Secondly, he's a popstar for christ sake!"

"Don't you dare tell yourself that you're put of his league!"

"But I am."

"..."

"I really am."

"You are worthless, stupid. You're fat, and you're an orphan with no actual control of herself, who got fooled by a stupid popstar. You do drugs, you drink, you cut. You're a disgrace. Go drown yourself in your sorrows. That's the only thing you're good for."

And even after the talk with Louis, I ended up in the bathroom, with my razor, an empty bottle of vodka lying on the floor next to me, pills on the floor, and my body shaking like never before. Who knew you could be so broken, even after what I've been through. Thought I would've toughened up by now. Guess not.

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