Fucked up (1D)

The 17 year old Mary Jane Moore, lives a normal life - until on her 17th birthday, where her loving parents tragically dies in a car accident. The young man behind the opposing car survives - but he is no ordinary boy. What will happen when Mary Jane is forced to meet the "killer" of her parents? And what will happen to her after her parents death?


21. At my doorstep

"Doe? Jane? Please pick up... I want to talk to you so bad... just, please... call me." 37 messages in three days. 5 from Kylie. 32 from Harry. To make it worse, he turned up at my doorstep as well, calling for forgiveness, wanting to know why I wouldn't talk to him. But I knew. And he hadn't had the guts to tell me himself. To know that I'd had sex with him, kissed him, loved him (even though I never got to tell him.) was uncomfortable, and got me sick to my stomach. I'd been with the boy who killed my parents. Sickening. In one of my many night-runs to get alcohol, It was raining outside. It could've easily been mistaken for rain on the roof, but I realized what the sound was almost right away. The way Harry used to cry was burnt into my memory, and I could hear it through the door with no trouble.

"Harry GO AWAY!" I yelled, tears streaming to my eyes. No sound. I went to my door and put an ear up against the cold wood. No sound. Must've imagined it. I continued to my fathers office when I heard it again.

"Harry, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled again, this time so loud i scared myself a little bit. I walked to the door and put my ear to it again. No sound. This was starting to freak me out, so I went to get a robe on, dumped the thought of alcohol for a moment, and went to the door to open it up. Outside, a boy were standing tall, his brown hair short, but totally soaked from the rain. His toms were ruined, and his feet were unmistakingly dirty and cold.

"Mary?" he asked.

"Who's this?" I asked, trying to focus on his face, even though my sight was clouded from the tears, that'd been on the surface, waiting to break out ever since I found out about Harry.

"I'm so sorry, Mary." the boy said, stepping inside and embracing me. I pushed him away.

"I don't know you, and then you turn up on my doorstep, embracing me, telling me you're sorry? What the actual fuck, dude?!" I said, trying to push him out of  the apartment.

"Please don't say fuck, Harry wouldn't like that..." he  said.

"Fuck, fuck, FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK!" I yelled sarcastically, pulling the robe further around me.

"Please, can I come in?" he asked pleadingly.

"NO! I'm not interested in whatever you have to say, and I couldn't care less about Harold. He can go to hell, and so can you!" I finally managed to push him out of the apartment, and slammed the door in his face.

"Please! Let me in!" He said. I slid down the door, my face in my hands.

"Harry didn't send me! It's Louis, by the way..." he tried.

"I don't give a flying fuck." I said, as I tried to hold back the tears. My throat was clogged up, and I couldn't really breathe.


"IT'S JANE!" I managed to say, even though the sound of my mothers name was a huge punch in the stomach. 

"Jane... please, let me explain it all... well not it all... I can't explain it all, just some of it. Just the part that I know." I shook my head, as I bit my lips, not wanting to show him how sad I was. But some way, he managed to read my mind.

"It's okay to be broken... It's okay to cry, to show how much both your parents and Harry mean to you,"

"Harry means nothing." I said through clenched teeth.

"And I totally get that... but can I ask you something?" He asked from the other side of the door. He waited a bit, and when I didn't answer, he asked it anyway.

"Why didn't you react like this earlier on? I mean, Harry lived with you for christ sake!" I shook my head angrily, as I let the tears flow, my body aching along with my heart and my mind.

"Oh my... didn't you know?" he asked. I finally let out a loud sob, my heart pounding.

"Let me in." he said. I stretched out my arm, and opened up the lock, as I fell to the floor, lying down, pulling my legs up underneath me, my arms wrapped around my knees. The door clicked open, and Louis walked in and took off his coat and shoes, dumping them on the floor next to me. Then he sat up, back resting on the wall, and pulled my head onto his lap, slowly touching my hair.

"I can't believe you didn't know." he finally said, as my tears had stopped a bit.

"I thought he'd told you ages ago - the way he described you in his text-messages... the way he felt about you was radiating through his eyes, his laugh, his smile, his voice... he changed when with you, and I'm sorry for acting like that at our house. It wasn't fair to you, because you have done nothing." he said, as I sat up and looked at him.

"You were the innocent victim of his mistake, to him; Jane doe. And I realize that now. I shouldn't have punished you for falling in love - I shouldn't have punished you for actually being happy in this terrible situation. I'm sorry. And that is all I can tell you. I don't know how Harry feels, what he thinks. I'm not him - but I do know he feels a special way about you, and that means something. That means a lot." I smiled vaguely at him, as I dried my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Talk to him. Work it out - and I know you might not be able to forgive him. I know you probably won't forgive him, but that's not the point. If you can't even look at him, then tell him. It's important that he knows, both for you and him. Closure, you know?" I nodded, as I sat up next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I have a feeling you have a girlfriend, am I right?" I asked. He nodded, and laughed as I picked up my head, and put it against the wall like the rest of my body.

"Let's not do that, then." I took a deep breath, and looked out straight in front of me.

"Thanks." he looked at me, and smiled.

"Any time."

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