Searching (Book 1-IAWICTB)

I am nothing. I am just a cardboard cut out. I am worthless. This is my story. The story of someone proving me just how wrong I was.

I
AM
WHO
I
CHOOSE
TO
BE.


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8. January 8

Yo Journal

8/1/13

 

                  Today me and Rebbaka ate our lunches together. We ate in silence. All the while I was thinking about her cuts. I knew she was expecting me to ask. She was picking at her food and keep looking up at me.  Some part of me wanted to ask. Another part wanted her to tell me when she was ready to tell me.  In the end I just asked her.

 

Peter

 

Dear Diary,                                                                                                            January 8th

 

                  All though lunch I was waiting for him to ask me about the cuts, I know he had seen them. Then suddenly he just blurts it out, while making sure no-one over hears him.

"Why do you cut yourself" 

"It helps me"

"Helps you what?"

 

"Helps me forget how much their words hurt. Almost like each drop of blood that is spilled stands for one bad, nasty,  mean word said to me  that day and as it flows free, out of my body it no longer hurts."

                After I finished speaking, and explaining, I stood up and went to leave but he grabbed my arm.

 

From Rebbaka

 

Yo Journal

8/1/13

 

                  I grabbed her arm. I wanted to know why she was leaving and the words she said made my heart cry out.  She said that everyone leaves her and I will to. I told her I wouldnt. That I would stay. She seemed to trust me as she sat back down.

 

Peter

Dear Diary continued,                                                                                               January 8th

 

                   I felt like when he said he would stay that I could believe every single word that came from those soft tender lips of his. Where the hell had that come from? I sounded like I was drooling over him, I ashore you I wasn't. Yet another cut shall be made for my stupidity. 

 

From Rebbaka 

 

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