Searching (Book 1-IAWICTB)

I am nothing. I am just a cardboard cut out. I am worthless. This is my story. The story of someone proving me just how wrong I was.



12. January 12

Dear Diary,                                                                                                         January 12th


                  John came up to me again at school. He asked me how I was while pushing me in a corner and blocking my exit with his arm.  Fear came back to me, just like how I felt when he and I was dating.



 Dear Diary,                                                                                                 04/072003


                 John asked me out today. I don't want to date him, however he's one of those people you don't deny what they want.

To start off with I said no, but then he hit me. He sent my head flying backwards with only a slap.  I'm sorry, I whimpered, I was only joking. Of course it is a yes. Trying my best to smile  as he patted my head like I was a well-behaved dog. Leaning forward he whisper in my ear, remember I am in charge of this relationship, in other words what I say goes.


Flashback end.


              I'm fine , I stated hiding the fear so easily now. It wasn't as hard as I imagined it to be. But still  if I could I wouldn't want this confrontation to happen again. Unfortunately I have learn't that my way doesn't go, especially when it involves John. Not only that but today I saw Peter and in shame I ran to the girls bathroom. 


From Rebbaka


Yo Journal



                 Today I saw Rebbaka again but instead of talking to me, she ran away the moment she saw me.  From the direction she was heading it looked like the girls toilets so as I ran after her I called her name because if that was were she was going I wouldn't be allowed there. I grunted in annoyance as I just missed her. While I was skidding around the corner as fast I as could she was entering the bathroom. Once the door shuts I come to a standstill knowing I was too late.  




I didn't have to do anything today. She's already becoming my dog on a tight leash this time. I wont be makin no mistakes.  I cant wait until I ride her again, making her scream my name. 

John aka  the Master

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