What's so great about Hogwarts?

This is for the 'one week in Hogwarts competition'
Hope I gave it a unique twist.

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1. Monday. What a mistake.

 

First day in Hogwarts and I'm already desperate to bugger of home.

For one thing, the feast was a nightmare. Kids everywhere, smiling, happy, cheerful, with what seemed not an inch of nervous blood in their bodies, and more then a few dribbles of gravy on their chins.

But this isn't even the beginning of the nightmare. After the sorting hat declared I was Hufflepuff (whatever that means) I managed to trip on the stairs coming down, and landed on my rear end in a big puddle of sticky stuff which I think they call pumpkin juice. Of course this evoked cacaws of laughter after which my fellow Hufflepuff's resulted in nicknaming me 'Juice cheeks' the consequence being that everyone kept looking at my buttocks and giggling.

The dorm room is all right, I suppose, but having to share with five other boys is very tiresome. All of them see to have problems containing certain gases.

I made one friend, a boy called 'Howard' who likes astrix comics and keeps them in a box under his bed.We had a look at them and both got the fright of our lives when Obelix waved at us, patting his paunch lovingly. Howard didn't show me his comics again after that.

My first lesson was defence against the dark arts. What is dark art? I've only ever heard mum talk about it and that's only when she and dad think I'm not listening, so when the Professor asked me for the exact definition of it I said the only thing I could think of.

'Is it a sort of painting, sir?'

Now not only am I 'Juice cheeks' but also 'Confused soul'.

Herbology was better. We tackled something rather slimy and sluggy, and with the help of a heavily bearded man named Hag-rid, I managed to succeed in the small task of making friends with a slug. Howard, however, didn't seem to rise to the task. The slug went astray and ended up being squashed by Howard's big bottom. 

Next we had divination, with a teacher called Professor Trelawney. She took one look at the leaves at the bottom of my tea-cup and burst out laughing, why my future is so funny I'll never know.

After lunch (spent hiding in the library) we had Transfiguration, and I think I've found where my skills lie. Proffessor Mcgonagall,  our teacher, congratulated me on turning a raisin into a prune, something which she says requires a high magical skill. Can't wait to tell mum about that one.

Had my first run in with the headmaster, Dumbledore. He looked me up and down and said I reminded him of someone.When I asked who, he said 'Neville Longbottom.' When I asked why I was like this Neville fellow, he just said 'Your braveness is yet to be discovered,' and wandered of. I wonder if he's slightly unhinged.

When it was time to go to sleep, I lay in bed for a while thinking. Why had everyone spoken so fondly of Hogwarts? It seemed to me to be a great, big mistake, that I'd ended up here.

Here's too Tuesday,

Hugo Weasley.

 

 

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