Lost In My Thoughts

This is just something I'm writing whilst being wrapped up in memories.


1. Chapter One

I sit here at 3:40am on 29th March 2013. It's quite a chilly night,I have a pink leopard print blanket wrapped around my shoulders as I write. Still sat in my clothes from yesterday,not gotten changed yet. My friend breathes gently as she sleeps peacefully,up in my bed. Both of us were tired but she caved in before I did. My floor is a mess,makeup and food everywhere,the reason I haven't put the airbed down and gone to sleep yet. My house is silent,all I can hear is gentle sniffles and the keys tap,tapping away as I write aimlessly about my situation at the minute. The metal bars of my purple moon chair dig into my lower thigh but I don't want to move,for even the slightest movement could create a stir in the peaceful atmosphere.

Since my friend fell asleep at about 2 I have been sat alone,no-one to make me laugh or smile,just sorting all my pictures out,thinking and most of all,getting wrapped up in my thoughts.

Just a second ago I forgot where I was,I thought I was sat on my bed but I looked up from my glaring laptop screen and realized that I was still-even after 1 hour and a bit-sat in my chair. This inspired me to write down what thoughts I have been thinking tonight. A lot of the time I just think about anything,my mind gets distracted easily. One minute I will be thinking about the next day,then a bit later I have gotten wrapped up in thinking about what I could write about next.

Quite often at night when I have a lot of spare,lonely time,I think about what other people think of me. Do they think I'm funny and pretty and skinny like they say I am or do they hate me,only spending time with me because they take pity on me? Do they think I'm ugly and fat,the things which they deny but I myself know I am,they're probably lying. When they get a text from me does their face light up or does it drop? Do any boys like me more than a friend? Probably not but it's something that I wonder. Are any of my 'friends' fakers? Do they talk about me behind my back? I know the answer to this. Yes,they do because they talk about people behind their back to me then act like their friend,which shows that they lie.

I also worry about the cruel creature known as death. When will it take me? Dragging me back to its fiery cave,devouring my soul,ripping me away from my family. Death is a scary thing,everyone dies sometime and I understand that but I don't understand why some are taken by others. It has so many ways of killing it's unbelievable. Cancer,suicide,murder,illness,old age. Depressing thoughts swirl around my head,taunting me,trying to strike fear in my body.

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