Cut In Half

Love is powerful, but how powerful? Can it tear a person apart? Chris and Isabella love each other, but Chris's wrong doings may lead Isabella down a wrong path.

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1. A Terrible Love

 

The sun began to set, changing the sky from its beauties blue to a hot pink and finally the sky changed to jet black. The sun looked to become larger as it set, but its warmth did not vanish as it did. Chris looked into my ocean blue eyes. “You’re the only girl for me Isabella.” I gave him a shy smile as I moved my eyes toward the ground.

“Prove it.” He kissed my lips, placing his hand on my hip. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I do what I do for you. You don’t need to worry. Just always know I love you more than words could ever say.” His voice was soft and caring, matching what I see in his eyes. Why does he have to make things so difficult? I sighed.

            “I want to believe you Chris. I worry about you day in and day out. What is it that you’re doing? Why won’t you keep me in the loop?”

“One day sweetheart, I promise. You will know everything, but I can’t right now. Please trust me. Please don’t lose your faith in me.” I could have sworn I saw tears forming in his eyes, something that he never does. It was only for a moment. But in that moment I could have sworn I saw fear. Fear of losing me? Or was it fear that was being caused by someone else?

“Promise me one thing.” I looked into the sky as I spoke, watching the stars that gleamed in the sky. As if it was a contest to see which one could shine the brightest. 

“Anything for you.”

“Be careful.” He didn’t say anything after that. He just held my hand and I could see him looking at me in the corner of my eye. I knew he loved me, but I don’t know if love will be enough.

 

            “He is so wrong for you. He is a terrible person. He leaves you alone. Just leave him already.” The voices of my family filled my head, echoing like no other sounds were found on this Earth. My heart fluttered, making me feel faint. How does Chris have this effect on me?

“Isabella! Isabella! Are you listening to me?” I looked at my sister, pushing back the tears that poked and prodded behind my eyes.

“Did you say something?” My voice cracked as a lump in my throat formed.

“Can’t you see what he is doing to you?”

“I love him,” I said simply.

“But perhaps he doesn’t love you.” My eyes narrowed as the anger warmed up my body.

“You know nothing! You don’t see what I see!”

“You’re right I don’t! You know why Isabella? Because he is never around! What if what he is doing puts you in danger?” My sister’s voice went to a screeching sound, that didn’t even sound like yelling. Was it human? Was this sound found on this Earth or was it a figment of my imagination? If I didn’t know any better I would say my ears were bleeding.

“He wouldn’t do that to me Ash.” She rolled her eyes and walked away. It was only after she left that I allowed the tears to leak out of my eyes. I felt like I was cut in half. One half says to leave and never look back. The other half says it’s too late. Your heart only beats for him. The only question is what side do I choose?

            I lay down on my couch and started thinking of what to do.  “Are you okay Isabella?” I sat straight up and looked into the eyes of my friend Andrew.  I wiped the tears and tried not to look him in the eyes. I didn’t want him to see my puffy red eyes. I didn’t want him to see I was week. I didn’t want his pity. “Did he hurt you?”

“No! I’m fine,” I snapped.  Andrew ignored my attitude and placed his arm around me. “Please go. I want to be alone.” My voice was low and full of sadness even though I didn’t attend it to be that way.

“You’re not fine. I know you Isabella. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you always try and push me away.” I began to think about how I and Andrew were before Chris. I remembered that we were so close. If one of us even got a superficial wound we would stay by each other until the other was okay. I remember sharing secrets that nobody else knew and nobody would find out. That all ended when Chris came along. I felt a spark with him unlike I did with Andrew. Andrew and I were just friends, but Chris could be more. We fell in love, but jealousy rose up in Chris. Jealousy of Andrew and I. He said there was something there even if I didn’t want to admit it. Of course after that I kept pushing Andrew away. I had to prove to Chris that I loved him and nobody else. Now instead of sharing secrets, I keep them. 

“I’m not pushing you away. I just have nothing to say.”

“Bullshit!” he screamed. “Ever since you two were together all you do is push me away and it’s because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that you will lose him, but that shouldn’t be a fear. He should be afraid to lose you. His jealousy tore us apart and you know it. He was afraid…” he paused. “He was afraid of this.” He placed his lips on mine and kissed me passionately. I couldn’t lie. I kissed him back. I turned away and allowed the tears to flow out of me like a waterfall. “Isabella…I..I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“No. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m a terrible person. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I shouldn’t have denied my feelings for you. But Andrew I do love Chris.”

“I know you do, but you have to do what is best for you.” I nodded. He is right. I need to end this. I must break it off with Chris or this life will kill me.

“I’m meeting with him tonight.”

 

I sat on the boardwalk, waiting for Chris to show up. He was late as always. I sighed and promised myself that I wouldn’t cry no matter how upset it makes me. “Hey sweetie sorry I’m late.” I looked up at Chris, seeing his eyes twinkle in the moonlight.

“Chris, I can’t do this anymore.” His eyes widened, losing their twinkle.

“But baby I love you. I’m trying really hard. Please understand.” I saw a tear form at the corner of his eye. 

“I know. I love you too. But this is too hard. I want a normal life. I’m tired of crying every night. I’m tired of trying to decide between right and wrong. I’m tired of worrying if one day you will never come back. I’m tired of the pain that comes with loving you.” Chris began to cry as I spoke.

“I never wanted to hurt you. I care for you. You are my everything. You’re perfection. Please don’t leave, please.” The tears I began to feel in my eyes blurred my vision.

“I’m sorry Chris.”  I walked away, never looking back. I couldn’t help but think I made the wrong decision. 

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