Nothing's Fine,I'm Torn

{The boys are not famous yet they may be later on or in a sequal}

Vanessa has been bullied everyday for as long as she can remember.She has no protector or friends. She feels lost & hopeless with nowhere to turn. But one day that all changes! A story of love & dark secrets!Read it all in "Nothing's Fine i'm Torn" out now!


2. ~Chapter 2~



    When I walked into class the teacher said. "Your late,take a seat".  I did as I was told and took a seat in the front because Harry was in the back. Before i knew it the forty-five minutes went bye and I had free period next. Everyone left the classroom so i stood up and walked out. Down the hall I could see Harry and some of his mates cornering some poor lad. Knowing there was nothing I could do about it I walked to the music room. 


    I grabbed an acoustic guitar and sat on a stool adjusting it on my lap. Making sure it was in tune I started to play a song i had written. It is about Harry. I can't confront him face to face but I can do it in a song. These are the lyrics that I was singing:


                                 "You with you words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

                                             You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like i'm nothing

                                    You,with your voice like nails on a chalkboard,calling me out when i'm wounded

                                                                         You, pickin' on the weaker man

                                                        Well you can take me down with just one single blow

                                                                But you don't know what you don't know

                                                                   Someday i'll be living in a big old city

                                                                    And all you're going to be is mean

                                                             Someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me

                                                                   And all you're ever going to be is mean

                                                                               Why you gotta be so mean?


                                                    You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation

                                                                       You, have pointed out my flaws again

                                                                               As if i don't already see them!

                                                 I walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause i'll never impress you

                                                                                  I just wanna feel okay again!

                                                          I bet you got pushed around somebody made you cold

         But that cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road and you don't know what you don't know

                                                                            Someday i'll be living in a big old city

                                                                           And all you're ever going to be is mean



                                                                        Someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me

                                                                             And all you're ever going to be is mean

                                                                                  Why you gotta be so mean?

                                                         And i can see you years from now, talking over a football game

                                                                With that same big loud opinion, but nobody's listening

                                                                Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

                                                                       Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing

                                                                                         But all you are is mean

                                                                All you are is mean,and a liar,and pathetic,and alone in life



                                                                            And mean,and mean,and mean,and mean

                                                                                       Why you gotta be so mean?

                                                                                  Someday i'll be living in a big old city

                                                                                      (Why you gotta be so mean?)

                                                                                And all you're ever gonna be is mean 

                                                                                        (Why you gotta be so mean?)

                                                                            Someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me

                                                                                         (why you gotta be so mean?)

                                                                                   And all you're ever gonna be is mean 


                                                                                         Why you gotta be so mean?"


   As I finished I put the guitar back and grabbed my bag going to the outside benches. But I went to the side where nobody goes so i wouldn't be bothered. It's not like anybody would want to talk to me though. I'm me simple as that. I sat down and got my maths homework out.. I didn't have time to do it last night because I cleaned the ENTIRE house it was pretty messy thanks to Zayn and i had to cook for him AND finish a report that's due today and i'm still not done with it. So i'm probably going to get detention for that. 


I Set my book in front of me and opened it to the right page. Then i got out my worksheets and started working on them. After about twenty minutes I finished and put my things away. I got a cigarette from my bag and lit it up. I inhaled it and blew out a puff of smoke. A couple of minutes later Harry sat across from me looked at what I was doing. "I know I shouldn't care but can you put that out" He said. Not saying anything I put it out. "Happy?" I said 

    . "Come on, I wanna show you something."  He said ignoring me while standing up.  Denying to go with him I stayed there not moving. "I said come on" He urged on grabbing me very tightly by the forearm and pulling me away somewhere. I winced in pain and as i tried to escape he just held on tighter-if possible-. "Harry, you're hurting me" I whispered. I'm guessing he heard me because his grip loosened enough for it not hurting as much. 


    I looked at my arm and already saw it bruising. Ignoring it he opened a door and when we walked in he closed the door behind us. I noticed it was the school's garden I didn't even know we had. I set my bag down looking around in awe."I didn't know the school has a garden." I said. "Nobody does except me and you" He replied. It was silent for a few moments before he asked, "Why do you do it?". Knowing what he meant I replied with, "Well having a brother who does it doesn't make a good example and my life is pretty screwed up i guess and so am I". 


    "You're not! You're perfect" He whispered. I blushed a little. "Why did you do it?" I asked wanting to know the answer. "Do what" He replied acting dumb. "Bully me. Hurt me. Physically and mentally?" I whispered. He walked up to my holding my hands. " 'Cause it was the only way you would notice me. It was the beginning of the school year and I noticed you by your locker and you were so quiet and sweet while I was.......i don't know, me" He said crying.


    "I'm sorry I c-caused you so much p-pain. I didn't mean to and every time I saw the pain in your eyes I wanted to hug you and tell you I was sorry and everything would be alright,but i was a coward and never did." He added hiccuping. I wiped his tears away and hugged him. He hugged back immediately. I stood on my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his hands around my waist. We stayed like that in silence until he said,"I really hope you'll forgive me but if you don't I don't blame you after all the pain I caused you."


    "I  forgive you" I said without hesitation. I knew he was telling the truth. He pulled back and looked at me in surprise. "Really?!" He whispered. I nodded. "Everything I called you before this I never meant any of it." he said. "I know but that's the past and this is now." I said looking up at him. All of a sudden he pressed his lips to mine. I was shocked but kissed back. After a while we both pulled back breathing heavily . "I've been wanting to do that for a while" he said smiling at me. I blushed not letting him know about my little crush on him. Then the bell rang starling me. "Um I g-gotta g-go" I stuttered grabbing my bag and running to my class. 




    It was now lunch time,I went to my locker and put all my things including my bags in and closing it. I slowly walked to the lunch room and sitting at a random table. Getting out my phone I checked my twitter. Nothing new,I put it away. Next thing i knew I saw Harry sit in front of me. I knew he would want to talk about why I ran off like I did. Before he could say anything my brother, Niall ,Liam,and Louis sat down with us. I sighed quietly in relief. "Hi" the four boys chorused. "Hey" Harry and I said at the same time. All the lads were talking as Lucy the school slut came up to us. "Hi boys" she said smiling trying to flirt with them.


   Then her eyes landed on me and she looked at me in disgust. "what are you guys doing with that? she spat. "She has a name Lucy" Zayn growled. She scoffed, "Don't waste your time with her" she said still not using my name. She pushed me back and I hit my head on the tile as I hit the floor. I held back my tears as I could hear the whole room laughing at me. "What the hell Lucy?!" Harry yelled. Before I could hear anything else I stood up and ran out letting the tears fall. I ran into the girls loo. I sat in a corner burring my face in my knees crying. Why does everybody hate me?! My life is just screwed up!. 


    There was knocking on the door,"Vanessa?" I heard Harry say. I could tell the other lads were out there too. I could hear them. I stood up looking in the mirror and made myself look presentable real quick. Though I was still crying. I opened the door seeing the lads. Harry engulfed me into a hug before I could say anything. I hugged back burring my face in his chest. Then they all hugged me so it turned into a group hug. The bell rang and they all said goodbye before heading their separate ways. Except for Harry. "Go Harry you're gonna be late" I said. "I don't care" he replied. "Well I do,and you boys are coming to mine and zayn's after school right?" I asked. "Yep" He replied. The lads always came over on Friday and everyday pretty much.  Before I could say anything we heard "The rest of the school day has been cancelled see you Monday" over the intercom. Before we could get mobbed Harry dragged me outside.

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