Evanescence

Few years and one thing has entered my mind since I was first made as a personality droid WHO AM I????????
(C)
took part in The Fuzz's 100 day challange starting on 12/30/ 13 and went on till completeing it on 1/11/14
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Started.. November 21,2012 Ended 1/11/ 2014!!!! word count: 19,749 words!!!!

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23. to save or not to save?

“Caristie are you ok?” John asked as he came close. The warm air radiated off of his skin and onto mine. I let the tears flow while he drew me in even closer. I didn’t look at him for I was ashamed that I was now torn between leaving the world be and go on with this journey.

“I’m not.” I can hear myself admitting and I could tell that I was tired in just   everything that I have done while I stayed there he calmly put an arm around me and held me even closer then what we were.  I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was starting to feel frustrated with everything that has been going on that I had to go after my father and how HE went off to find his own way either killing more than what we both would like to admit.

“It’s ok Caristi it will be all over soon we will wake the world then this…” John said and I had enough of this saving the world stuff. I felt my head being blown because of what he just said about the world. I felt my head explode that he would say something like that and say it without hesitation I stared at him as I felt my eyes get red hot and fiery as if I could shoot laser beams at him to where he wouldn’t know what he had done before he hit the ground.

“What?” He asked looking surprised at my reaction but he wasn’t the one that was mentally painted in his mind it was me that he had a perfect picture of. Me the best person to mold because of how I, I think, already hated the droids and how EVERY person was a droid plus how I knew when I was a droid I wanted it to stop which I think I did because I woke up with the hatred of the same hood.

“You think I am going to kill a half of a society for a simple thing as being the same and being droids? You can’t think that I can go in the main room and turn off the computer and then realize that a quarter of the world is going to be like Miss Luingous DEAD!” I rambled as I was looking to the floor to hide the tears that was starting to run away from me and then John lifted my chin showing that I was frazzled about the idea and now he had once again penetrated my defenses if there even was one. His bright eyes told me to keep calm and I just sniffled as I showed how I truly felt.

 Then after I did that I couldn’t believe that I broke in a crucial moment, just braking down and crying wouldn’t solve a thing. I can tell that John was surprised as I am while I glanced up at him. A wanting for us to be together in this moment rushed into me as I looked around and all I could see was death a death that has rushed over me to where I am now afraid of doing something that I had planned to do. I felt ashamed that I would do such a thing.

John looked like he understood that I was in the predicament. “It’s ok Carista I will go and awaken the world and kill all those innocent lives for you instead of with you.” He said and then he kissed me on the back of my head and smelling my hair which I thought was weird that he did that and I wondered if he was saying goodbye.

I thought over what he said about him wakening the world alone. And it triggered something in me to where I was thinking that I couldn’t let him do that all alone and have all the blame once when some of the waken realize that they are not immortal and that they can pass on now.  I started to get scared for him thinking that he might need help with teaching the people how to live again in this world and let them have and teach them how to handle flashbacks like I had. I started to wonder how he was going to do it alone and then there was the opposite side that the public will riot on us and then forget the fact that difference would save humanity to where we would be right back where we had started which is what we both don’t want.

I can see why I couldn’t let him go since he was only just a person, a person that has been in writing for a long time and right now might be hard to have only one person to start anew. All of a sudden I realized that that was my place and I had to find him.

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