Insecurities turn brighter

I'm the one that sits at the front, but know one sees. I'm the one that talks, but know one listens. I'm the one that thinks, but know own understands. I'm michaela. My family call me miki. I have been called many things. There is a word for people like me. Insecure. But in a short future, it will all change when I go to London for end of year 12 celebration... And meet the one and only ONE DIRECTION!!!!!


14. The Good Times And Bad


ouch. I have never felt so much pain in my life. I can't move my body. I can't open my eyes. But then I remember Alice and Miki. What that bitch did to them. The mental pain hurts more than the bullet. I need to open my eyes. I need to know that they are ok and hold them and cradle them until they are. I need them. I aware if that bitch did anything to hurt Alice, world war three world unravel. I opened my eyes, quite slowly, and adjusted. Then I saw Liam with his hand bandaged, Louis with a bandage one his face that looked like it was bleeding from the slap, Zayn the same, Harry with a bloody bandage around his leg with crutches, but the thing that broke my heart the most, no Miki and no Alice. 'Where are they' the guys just looked at each other. Then Zayn spoke calmly. 'Miki is in intensive surgery in a coma.' My heart broke into a zillion pieces. 'Alice? Where is Alice?' I spoke, nearly yelled. Harry hopped over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. 'Miki's mum took her. We where all blacked out and the doctors had left the room to check if they had rooms for us. She came and took Alice. We had no idea until we checked the video survailence.' I cried. I cried for what felt like forever. I was going to kill her. What would she do to her? The said she wanted her dead. Over my dead body. I took all of my strength and ripped the tubes out of me and got out of bed. All the boys where screaming at me to stop and think. I didn't want to think. My princess was out there and she needed me. And I needed her. I ran out of the hospital and just kept running.and running. And running. What was I going to do? I don't know. I would fink that skank that took my daughter and kill her probably. I took out my iPhone and went on Facebook and typed in Michaela Buchholz. Then I looked at her friends hoping to find her mum. Then I say someone called Tasha Buchholz and looked at the photo. The mere sight of her photo sickens me. I looked at her latest status which was 'staying at the Hilton. Tonight will be deadly...' I knew it wasn't a metaphor. I ran to the Hilton and asked which room she was in. Then I went up to the elevator to the 6th floor and walked down the hall. I heard my baby crying which broke my heart. Then I stole they master key from the cleaning cart afew rooms away and opened it. Then it was all a rush. I ran inside, picked up the princess and ran out being hit with many many objects on the way out. I was bleeding so much, but took my shirt off and rapped my little girl in it. I ran out as fast as I could, not very fast when nearly bleeding to death, and held my daughter close to my now full heart. I ran down the street and past the bridge to the hospital. It had been about 5 hours now since I left the hospital and I ran in with the hag on my tail. As soon as the nurses realised what happened,they called security who held her down until the police got there and took her away. Thank god. I ran up to the boys, still bleeding and holding Alice tightly, and handed her to Louis. Then I collapsed to the floor and blacked out again. I woke up again in a hospital room that night. To my right was Jazzy. Thank god. 'JAZZY! HOW IS MICHAELA? IS SHE OK? HOW IS ALICE?' She answered with a 'Niall, calm the fuck down! Alice is perfectly fine and cuddling with Miki in Miki's room. The doctor said if you want to see her, you can. She's in room 315.'as soon as she said that,I once again ripped the tubes out of my skin and ran to her room. I took a deep breath and walked inside. Her face lit up as she saw me. 'NIALL I MISSED YOU! HOW ARE YOU?!?!' I didn't answer. I just ran up to her and sat next to her while she sobbed into my polo shirt. I cried silent tears but tried not to. I needed to be strong for her. 'Niall, I heard what you did. That you saved her.' This time I cried into her shirt. The time I nearly lost my whole family. Thank god. I love this moment. 'I love you.' Then I kissed her so meaningfully and passionately, but not roughly. There where children around...that's when, on Cue,   The nurse came in and told us to pack up and leave. Of course. 



'Miki, I have something to tell you. And I know you won't forgive me. But I need to tell you.' It was finally time to tell her about Loren. 'Look, remember when we had that big fight and I stormed out?' She nodded and looked seriously at me with a worried expression. 'Well, I went to a bar. And I woke up, we'll, not here exactly...' 'Niall, what do you mean?' 'Well Michaela, I slept with a girl. I was utterly and completely drunk. I didn't think anything of it. Then about a week ago, she came to the door and told me she was pregnant. She's due about next month. I'm so sor...' I didn't get to finish before she locked herself in the bathroom. Oh no. She wouldn't harm herself would she? 'No! Miki..' She interrupted me. 'Dont call me that!!!' I sighed. 'Just please open the door?'



'just please open the door?' No way in hell was I doin that. I didn't know what to do. How could he? He hurt me so much. I went through the cupboards and found a razor. The razor. The same razor I used back then. It was all coming back. I put it lightly on my skin and thought to myself. No. I won't do this. He will notice obviously if I cut myself there. I pulled down my sock and started cutting my heel.deeply.the blood was everywhere. But it felt so good. I feel Deseret for relief from bad feelings. It's like letting go and finally saying goodbye to all the emotions, beacause, like blood, it just washes away. I hear a loud knock on the door 'please! I'm sorry, let me fix this!' I sobbed the words out 'how the hell can you fix this Niall? The poor girl is giving birth soon and there's nothing you can do about it! I wish I didn't wake out of that coma!!!' At that the door burst open and he saw me cutting myself. And the blood. And the razor. He just stood there with his mouth open and then stormed out. I just collapsed on the floor and rolled myself into a ball and cried and cried and cried and cried. I just couldn't stop. Then Zayn walked in. He held me and cradled me in his big arms. He was getting so much blood on his white shirt, but I don't think he cared. He was like my big brother. I loved him with all my heart. But there's some things not even he can help. 'Shhh shhh Miki, what's wrong?' I cried out 'z-z-Zayn, he- he got a-a gi-irl pre-pre- pregnant!' I canst believe it myself. The next thing, Niall came in and slapped me hard across the cheek. 'I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CUT YOURSELF? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?' He just walked back out after that. Now my cheek is bleeding. Great. Note the sarcasm.

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