Insecurities turn brighter

I'm the one that sits at the front, but know one sees. I'm the one that talks, but know one listens. I'm the one that thinks, but know own understands. I'm michaela. My family call me miki. I have been called many things. There is a word for people like me. Insecure. But in a short future, it will all change when I go to London for end of year 12 celebration... And meet the one and only ONE DIRECTION!!!!!

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42. Funeral.

Nialls POV

It's been one week since we found out about our new addition and I'm trying so hard to convince miki to not get an abortion. She really doesn't want another family. It's so frustrating because a family is all iv ever wanted. Miki's pregnant and wants to kill the baby. My baby! I decided I would have a serious talk with her. 'Miki.' I said as i walked into our room. 'Look, I want to talk about this baby.' 'Fetus' she corrected me. 'You can't even say it. There's a baby in there. A living thing with a heart beat. Our living thing. Look, this whole time iv been trying to convince you, but not today. Today your listening to me.' I didn't give her time to talk. 'Miki! It's not only your baby! I wnt a family and I don't want you to kill my baby!' I screamed at her. He started crying. 'No! Don't make me feel bad I'm getting this off my chest! I don't want my baby dead and I know you don't either! Just, just, try? Lets help this baby live instead of tearing down all of its chances.' She touched her belly with her whole hand. She looked down at it then back up at me, still crying. 'And what if this baby dies too Niall? I think iv lost enough.' 'Ill be there too. With you.' She just cried on my shoulder. 'Niall. I miss her so much.' I rubbed circles on her back. 'I do too.' I started crying as well. 'Miki, I know we said we wouldn't, but lets have a funeral for her. I know it'll be sad, but it'll show her we care.' I suggested. She nodded. 

1 week later.

the funeral is today and I'm so so so sad. I'm really trying to keep in my tears. It's a pretty small service, no paps. Just me, the boys, angel, jazzy, Becky and Darcy and my mum and dad and small portion of family and that's it as miki had no family. Except her dog. He was flown here. Everyone was seated and I decided to stand up the front and start the service. 'Umm, can I just say thankyou for coming, I know it was a while flight so thanks for that... Umm, I don't usually speak in front of crowds, and especially at serious occasions such as this, so I don't know what to say really... Alice... She was amazing. As every single person in this room knows, Alice was the most incredible, beautiful child... Ever. She was too young to leave and it's a shame it's over, but every ending is just a prologue to another chapter in life. Alice, I know your listening. Princess, I mis you. So so much. I love you. Mummy loves you. If there was absolutely anything I could do to save you and me die instead, I'd do it in the first thought. You would have been the most amazing person. Mummy's smile and daddy's eyes. I don't know what else to say, so I guess, I'm gonna sing it. This song is called little things and daddy wrote it just for you baby girl. I'll never love anyone as much as I love you.' I then grabbed my guitar and played and sung little things for her. For my baby. After that, miki came up clenching a piece of paper in her hands. She read from it as she spoke. 'Alice, I-' she didn't finish before she broke down leaning all of her weight on the podium infrint of her. I went up running next to her whispering to her. 'Do you want me to read it out?' I whispered to her. She nodded. 'Alice, your gone. Forever. It's sad, I know. I'll never get to hear that hilarious chuckle again. Or see that beautiful smile you use to light up the world. But I know your watching down on all of us and I'm so sorry. It's my fault. But now is not the time to mourn the fact you have left. Now is the time for all of us to celebrate the fact that you came to us. The fact that you blessed everyone's lives in this room. I miss you baby. You should be here, with the people who live you. I..' I just paused before reading what she had written next. 'I won't forget you. I promise.' I started crying and hugged and hel miki as everyone else said afew words. After the service, we all kit lanterns and pushed them into the sky so Alice could play with them in heaven. 

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