Insecurities turn brighter

I'm the one that sits at the front, but know one sees. I'm the one that talks, but know one listens. I'm the one that thinks, but know own understands. I'm michaela. My family call me miki. I have been called many things. There is a word for people like me. Insecure. But in a short future, it will all change when I go to London for end of year 12 celebration... And meet the one and only ONE DIRECTION!!!!!

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41. Barf, puke, vomit.

Mikis POV 1 week ago today Darcy was born. In the past week, Jazzy and Darcy went home with Beck and Harry was really pissed that he couldn't stay home with them but she insisted that he stay on tour. It's best not to let the fans down. I was lying in bed when I felt something really wrong. I felt sick and my stomach wouldn't settle. I grasped my stomach in payne (see what I dd there) and called Nialls name. He came instantly. I ran to the bathroom and threw up instantly. Niall stood there and held my hair back for me the whole time. I felt bad. 'Niall! Make it stop!' I told him. He called Liams name and he came instantly also. 'get a bucket and turn the car on. We're going to the doctors.' he told him. He ran and got Me a bucket that I carried while he carried me to the car. NialI sat in the back stroking my hair and Liam drove one of the car we take on tour incase something like this happens. We got to the hospital and got me checked out straight away. The doctor came in shortly after. 'ok, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, miki, your pregnant.' I stared at Niall. He looked so happy. I, was not. 'Niall, I can't, I cant have another baby!' I turn to the doctor,'wait, moarning sickness wasn't this bad when I had Alice, what's wrong?' I asked. He paused. The baby seams to have a disease called Hypitotymus (not a real disease, don't google it). This is a disease that makes the baby unhealthy quickly and is not cureable. This child will never get rid if the disease, however can ease the symptoms. I must warn you, there is a high risk of miscarriage.' the doctor said. He then left the room giving us some privacy. 'Niall, I'm sorry, but I can't lose another baby. I want an abortion.' he shook his head. 'no you don't, your just scared.' 'Yes Niall! I am! I'm scared of being pregnant, I'm scarred of miscarriage, I'm scare of giving birth, I'm scared of having another dead child, I'm scared of everything! Nothing is going right and I am NOT passing it onto this baby. It would rather die before it is born.' I said crying. 'I just dont want to Jill another baby.' I whispered. He came in and hugged me. 'you where a great mum.'he told me.
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