Insecurities turn brighter

I'm the one that sits at the front, but know one sees. I'm the one that talks, but know one listens. I'm the one that thinks, but know own understands. I'm michaela. My family call me miki. I have been called many things. There is a word for people like me. Insecure. But in a short future, it will all change when I go to London for end of year 12 celebration... And meet the one and only ONE DIRECTION!!!!!


6. Back at the Hospital...


I went outside our room to the kitchen figuring Niall would be there. I went out and sat on Niall's lap. The next second the boys and Jazzy started mocking us.


Louis - 'GOOOODDD NIALL! Right there baby!


Zayn - Ride me baby! I need to feel you on my cock!


Harry - HARDER! God my hour cock feels so good in my pussy


Liam - god baby! You pussy tastes so good. Your so wet for me


OMG! I didn't think we where that loud. Oops... I looked right at Niall and felt so insecure at the moment. I didn't know what to do. I felt tears well up in my eyes. So I ran upstairs into our bedroom and into the bathroom. I locked the door. I searched everywhere for a razor and couldn't find one. Then I saw some pills on my search. They where the pills that make you throw up! YAY!!! It'll be heaps easier to be skinny now. I took 3 hoping for a faster effect. Then I kept looking. Hiding behind a box full of condoms (figures) I found a razor. It was so sharp. I took my risk and cut it slowly and deeply. It worked, I saw blood, nut I didn't feel it because I'm used to it. So I cut deeper. I finished 5 minutes later with cuts on my hand that where nearly healed. Before now. I rinsed it under water until it stopped bleeding. Then I went out of the bathroom to see 5 guys with tears in there eyes. 'Why are you crying?' Louis answered 'because we made you feel say. Sorry. We shouldn't have mocked you about your incredibly loud sex noises..' At that I couldn't help but laugh. 'Im sorry. I over reacted. Your just jealous you guys didn't get some last night' I said back to make them feel better. Then Niall spoke 'what are you having for breakfast babe?' 'I don't want anything thanks Blondie'  with that, he flipped me over his shoulder and walked me to the kitchen. He held me there while the boys used scarves to tie me to the chair. 'Im going to ask you again, what do you want for breakfast?' I wasn't planning on eating, but then I remembered the pills I took. I'll be fine.'fine pushy, I'll have an apple please' he still wasn't happy with my answer. He must have known this would happen because he pulled a plate of bacon and eggs out in the shape of a smiley face. It was ALOT of bacon and eggs too, I wouldn't eat that much in a day. 'Fine then. I guess I'll have bacon and eggs. And how do you expect me to eat them since you bozos tied me down?' With that, he picked up a fork and help a piece of bacon in front of me. 'Im waiting' he said with a smug look on his face. With that I opened my mouth. He managed to stuff 3 pieces of bacon and 2 eggs in my mouth before I convinced him I was full. With that, he untied me, pleased with himself. Then he came to my right arm. He stood back and gasped. I didn't feel good. I untied it myself and ran to the bathroom before puking my guts out. Niall stood behind me and held my hair back. Then I flushed the toilet and on my way out, he screamed 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?' I couldn't speak. It's unlike him to yell at me. Then he waved the bottle of open pills I used I front of my face. 'I knew you would make me eat and I just couldn't. I don't see the big deal. It's a much needed diet!' 'A much needed diet? Are you fucking me right now? You buy clothes in size 10 in kids! I can fit both your hands in two fingers! Why would you do this?!?! YOU ARE NOT FAT?'



I can't believe I just yelled at her like that. I finished my screaming session and 5 seconds later she fell to the ground. 'MIKI WAKE UP! DON'T PLAY THESE HAMES WITH ME!' With that, I threw her body over my body and ran to the car in one swift motion. That's when the others came out. 'What happened? Why is she asleep?' I was bombarded with questions as I put her motionless body in a seatbelt and got in the other side. 'Cant talk guys, just meet me in the hospital!' I've never drove that fast in my life, but within 20 min we where there. I carried her bridal style to the front desk and practically screamed in her face 'she fainted she needs a doctor now! Hurry!!!' That second the doctor came in and put her on a stretcher. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave her. But security pushed me back. All I want is to see her. That's when Louis, Jazzy, Harry, Zayn and Liam came rushing in. 'Niall, what happened?' Liam pulled me into a hug and asked me. I know many think its gay for guys to hug, but I needed it and I was thankful. I told him the whole story. The pills, the cuts, everything. I was on the floor crying when the doctor came in the room. He looked me straight in the eye and said 'she's asleep but you can come see her now. Both her and the baby are fine.' 'WHAT?!?! SHE'S PREGNIT? But it was only one time and we used protection!' The nurse just said 'she's in room 638 if you want to see her.' Jesus Christ. All the nurses here are seriously bitches. I went into the elevator and pressed the button with a number 6 on it.i couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I was a dad. This is definitely a surprise. I'm so happy. I was shocked and maybe a little upset before, but now I'm overjoyed! I'm having a baby! We're having a baby. When everyone was sure I was glad about it, they all congratulated me. I didn't care. I just wanted to see Miki. I needed to hold her and kiss her and make sure she's ok. If we are having a baby then I need her to eat. She has to.for the baby. I walk into her room and practically collapse on the floor next to her bed crying. After seeing her legs again, I saw even more burns than last time. I need her to be happy. It's my job. She needed to see that. I couldn't help it. It was probably wrong, but I had to do it. I leant over her hospital bed and kissed her. After a while, I felt her kiss back. I pulled away to see her looking down at her stomach. 'Babe, don't harm yourself. Please, I need you.' The next minute, the doctor came in. 'I have discovered why you are here. Two reasons. The first reason is blood loss and the second reason is anorexia. You are very underweight. Please eat for your health.' With that, he walked out. 'Im sorry Niall but I can't stop harming myself and I never will.' 'Why? Why can't you stop? Why would you do it in the first place?' 'Its a long story' I said after a few moments silence. 'And we have nothing but time miki so spill it.' 

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