Paper Planes {One Direction}

Esther Bane was a completely normal human being, and a beautiful young teenage girl, until the day of the tragedy. The day changed her in the blink of an eye, and she soon found herself in support group once a week, trying to wake up from her nightmare of what happened that night in London. The night of the murder. The night of the nightmare, that kept hunting her night after night. Though Esther does have one happy thing left in her life, and his name is Harry Styles.
*Male lead bears no/very little likeness to the real Harry Styles apart from appearance*
[One Direction non famous]

17Likes
11Comments
3226Views
AA

7. Facing dinner

My mum left me alone in the bathroom after a while. She was gonna finish the dinner before she would have the usual fight with me. I got to my fragile feet and looked myself in the mirror. I had huge black bags under my eyes and my hair looked so messy around my skinny head. Yet I was still that beautiful girl I once was.

My mum came into the bathroom with a glass of water and the two pills. The medication I so often had refused to take, but now she was gonna stand there until both pills were in my system. One for me not to vomit and another for me to get hungry…

I look at the pills as if they were poison to my body, but I knew she was gonna hold me if I refused to take them. Somehow those two pills were gonna be forced into my body today. I looked at them running my hands through my hair and sinking really loud way too many times.

“How long will this take Esther?”

“Just give me a minute okay.”

“Sweetheart, they aren’t going to hurt you. I promise you.”

“They will. They will force me to eat and keep it inside of me.”

“That’s a good thing Esther.”

“No.”

“You have to take them.”

“No!”

“Esther, please don’t make this harder for me or you.”

“I’m scared.”

My voice was shaking as I looked at the pink pills in front of me. I didn’t want to take these. I didn’t. They were gonna make me hungry and unable to throw up unless I stuck two fingers down my throat. I locked my fingers in my hair as I pulled it back. I kept my eyes on the small pills on the edge of the sink.

Shakily I moved my hand forward and took the first pill. The one that would keep the food in my body… I looked at it as if it was going to hurt me, maybe even eat me alive from the inside, but my mum didn’t say anything as she knew I was working on it. I placed the little pill on the tip of my tongue and then sank it with the water from the glass.

Sooner or later both pills were inside of my body and after a couple of minutes I felt them working in my body. The hunger filled me, not much, but I really felt like getting something to eat. My brain was still trying to force me not to get anything, but the hunger that filled me was too big to resist.

“Are they working yet?”

My mum looked at me as we made the way out into the kitchen after I had been sitting on the bathroom floor crying. I hated having these in my system. It was poison.

“Yes…”

I looked at the ground disgusted by myself and felt how the urge to harm myself was filling me up inside. The thing was that every time I had eaten I would harm myself. Either throw the food up again or cut myself. My thighs were covered up in the ugly scars that I had made myself.

We sat down by the table and I looked at all the food in front of me. I was disgusted and I wanted to throw up, but whenever I tried forcing my stomach to pull together it didn’t work. The pills were working and I was now forced to get these disgusting things into my body.

“What do you want?”

“Just some salad.”

“Great…”

“Just be happy that I get something okay?”

I looked at her with a tough face. I hated whenever she put me on these pills. She made me feel like a kid that wasn’t able to take care of myself. Maybe I wasn’t able to take care of myself. At least not in the way she wanted, but at least I was speaking and moving around again. I was moving on, just very slow. In the beginning I refused to do anything, and I think I spend 3 weeks in bed without doing anything at all.

My mum placed a plate in front of me. It contained 3 carrots, a little slice from the chicken roast, 4 potatoes and some gravy. I was staring at the food way too long, unable to control all of the thoughts that went through my head.

I wasn’t going to eat the chicken. No matter what! I didn’t eat meat anymore, and I was never going to again.

I placed the first carrot in my hand after 10 minutes of staring at the food that didn’t vanish. The first bite was always the worst, but it happened and the taste was weird in my mouth. It felt so right yet so wrong to have this substance inside of my mouth.

The hunger was taking over my brain and soon I was having munchies and eating everything, except the chicken I had on my plate. Everything was gone. The 4 potatoes and the 3 carrots and all of the gravy, beside what was on the chicken.

“Someone’s finally feeling the hunger?”

“It’s disgusting... I can’t have any more.”

“So you don’t want dessert?”

The sound of my stomach rumbling was enough for my mum to find the ice cream I always had as a kid. The one with the different colours I love with all of my heart. My dad always told me that ice cream could always cure a broken heart, but this wasn’t right, but the ice cream did feel really good as I made my way through a cup of it.

As I finished I felt really disgusted by myself. I felt misplaced, and all I could do was go to bed. My bed was my safety. It was as if people couldn’t find me whenever I was there. It was the place they left me alone.

When I got there I found the little paper place, Harry had made a few hours earlier, and the view of it, made that little sparkle of happiness grow a tiny bit inside of me. 

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...