Paper Planes {One Direction}

Esther Bane was a completely normal human being, and a beautiful young teenage girl, until the day of the tragedy. The day changed her in the blink of an eye, and she soon found herself in support group once a week, trying to wake up from her nightmare of what happened that night in London. The night of the murder. The night of the nightmare, that kept hunting her night after night. Though Esther does have one happy thing left in her life, and his name is Harry Styles.
*Male lead bears no/very little likeness to the real Harry Styles apart from appearance*
[One Direction non famous]

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1. Esther Bane

“Esther? You alright up there?”

I rolled my eyes as I curled another paper and threw it behind me. I was working on my speech for the support group. I wasn’t ready for this at all, and I didn’t want to stand up in front of this whole crowd. We would be having a big gathering and there would be a lot of people there to hear me speak. Lucky for me I had my best friend. We met at support group a long time ago. The place my mum always forced me to go. She really wanted me to go in treatment, but as I had turned 18 she couldn’t do anything about it, and to be honest I didn’t want to leave Harry now that we had finally found each other.

As soon as Harry became a part of my life it was like I slowly started feeling happy again. It was like he we were dragging each other out of the hole we had both been in way too long.

“Esther!”

“WHAT?!”

I was so annoyed lately. I was tired, annoyed, angry, sad, and maybe… maybe I was even a little happy. It had been a long time since I had been happy, and it was a strange feeling to have inside. It was something I couldn’t really handle, because in the end it always ended up breaking me down, and sometimes it even ended up hurting me more. Happiness was for losers. That was one thing I had taught myself. That’s why nothing in the world mattered to me anymore. Maybe besides from Harry. Harry did mean something to me. Actually he meant a lot to me. It was like he was the only one who understood what was going on with me.

“Are you alright up there?”

“Just leave me alone!”

I was almost screaming at the top of my lungs and got up from my desk to slam the door, just as I heard my mum on the stairs up to my little room.

“Esther you can’t speak like that to me. What’s going on?”

“Leave me alone.”

I rolled my eyes and tried starting another speech. I just wanted to get this over with so I could start preparing myself to speak it. I wanted to make this good even though I was scared and the insecurity would be easy to see on me. The meeting was only 10 days away and I would have to deliver a copy to my team leader next week at support group. I wondered to myself if Harry would be going there next week. I really wanted him to go. I wanted to see him again, but I knew I was gonna see him soon. Only a couple more hours before I would be heading to support group…

“Esther you can’t stay like this forever. You’ll have to move on at some point. Speak with me.”

“I don’t want to speak with you. Leave me alone.”

“Esther you must understand that you can’t ever go through this if you aren’t whiling to try.”

“Don’t you think I’m trying? I’m trying the best that I fucking can, but would you ever be able to forget any of this yourself? You think it’s hard for you? Well where the fuck where you when it happened? I had to face it all happen, and I will never be able to get those pictures out of my head. I just wish I could forget this but I can’t.”

She left the room with a sad face. I knew she missed my dad, but she hadn't seen it happen and they weren't even together when it happened. I lived with dad in central London only a year back. We were really close and he was kinda like my best friend. One night we went out for dinner and a movie just to have some bonding time and that's when it happened. He was killed right in front of my eyes. The pictures of it haven’t gotten out ever since. 

I looked at the phone beside me on the table. The screen was empty as usual and I had hoped on a cheering text from Harry, but he hasn't been feeling good lately. The depression and trauma was really getting to him lately. 

"Esther c'mon we better get going." 

I moved around the room and found a sweatshirt the big blue one that makes me look a bit bigger than I am. I had been super skinny. Actually way to skinny since dad died. I couldn't eat whenever I thought of him. 

I walked slowly down the stairs with my phone in my hand. I wasn't ready for support group. I wasn't reading to share my thoughts with people. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? 

My mum helped me to the car. I had had a lot of trouble with my left leg, as I had hurt it in my sleep the other night. 

"Is Harry going to be there with you today?" 

Mum questioned me while she was trying to make me feel better, but whatever she did it didn't help. 

"Yeah I think so. He needs it." 

"He's not okay is he?" 

"No not at all." 

I felt like crying as soon as my mum and I talked about Harry. He really was the person that meant the most to me. 

"None of us are to be honest mum. We are all fucked up kids with trauma and anxiety who are scared and sad all the time. That's why we are put together in support groups. To tell each other how fucked up we are, and so normal people from the outside won’t be forced to listen to how God damn depressed we feel." 

“Esther you know it’s for your own best I send your there right?”

“So I can listen to more crap from people who have been beaten up, raped and so much more? Mum I’m tired of all this.”

“Then don’t go. But don’t come complain to me when it’s getting worse and worse and worse and WORSE!”

I shook my head. The tears that had been trying not to come over the past 12 hours were there streaming down my face. Where was my Hazza when I needed him? 

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