Wouldn't Be A Lie

Her head was in the clouds, and his feet were glued to the ground. Playing like lovers in the moonlight, but never stepping out into the sunlight.

(In the process of being edited so I apologize for any craziness!!)

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8. Moondust

Holly

I'm building this house, on the moon

Like a lost, astronaut 

Lookin' at you, like a star

From a place, the world forgot

And there's nothing, that I can do

Except bury my love for you

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough

To bury my love, in the moondust

I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice

To bury my love, in the moondust

 

I went to school with a smile on my face and lips that had been kissed. Guillermo met Sam at the door and they had a quiet sort of understanding the way they looked into each other’s eyes and could talk with only their eyes. Today I kept walking and joined Eli and the rest of the boys and the Whores. 

"Why the big smile Holly baby ?" John asked me.

"Sam didn't eat all the Froot Loops," I joked.

The entire group let out a laugh as the bell rang and I headed upstairs to get my books and go to class. First period was a blur and when I went to go put my things away to get ready for P.E. a note fell out. It was a torn out piece of paper from a notebook. I opened it up and it read "I love you princess Holly. " I didn't need to know who it was because I already knew who it was from. Eli. I slid the note into my pink binder and closed my locker and headed downstairs with Sam.

"You look all stupid, smiling like that," she said popping her gum bubble.

"I do not," I said.

"Oooo I know why you're like that," Sam said as we reached the locker room.

"Why?" I said opening our locker.

"Cause you and Austin got something going on," she said winking as we changed into our P.e uniforms.

"We do not. We're just friends," I said tying my shoe.

"Uhuh "friends"," she said making air quotes around the word friend.

"Shut up. What about you and Guillermo. I'm sure you two are just friends," I said as we walked outside.

"We are. For now, he hasn't asked me anything," she said.

"He will. You'll see," I tell Sam.

Period 2 is spent running around the small field until we almost pass out. The next two periods were spent by me denying that I had something with Austin ant Sam not believing me. We went to lunch and everything was fine until Sabrina and Eli disappeared and Sam made a rude comment about the Slut, and Dianna threw her spoon at Sam. Sam took it very seriously and dumped her yogurt over Dianna's head. I dragged Sam away, while she was threatening to kill Dianna. 

"Ugh, I hate them all!" Sam yelled.

"I know you do," I said as we sat in the empty hallway.

"And fucking Eli. Ugh He's probably letting that whore suck his dick," Sam yells throwing her arms in the air.

I turn red and hope it's not true. I mean why at school?

"No, it's school," I protest.

"Well she's a whore. She wouldn’t care," Sam said finally sitting down next to me.

"I know, but still. I don't think your brother's like that," I said finishing off my apple and trying the core away in the trash can near us.

The end of lunch comes and we head to fifth period. I'm still hoping what Sam said wasn't true. I spent the rest of the day wondering and only half-listening to Sam go on about her party. Eli had a football game after school today and only Sam and I went home to change clothes. I changed into one of her band tees and shorts. I slipped on my gray sweater and my white Chucks. Sam dressed in shorts a black tee and a white sweater and her black Chucks. We ran downstairs and waited for her parents. They came down hand in hand and we left. We sat high up in the bleachers once more and cheered him on. They won 34-12. We ran down to meet Eli and he hugged his sister and then me.

"You look hot in those shorts baby girl," he whispered.

I blushed and pulled away. Sam was talking to John who was also on the team and Eli's parents were talking to John's parents.

"Are you staying tonight?" I asked.

"Maybe," he answered.

"Please stay," I beg.

"I don't know baby," he said.

"I don't want you to go, so you can be with her," I said crossing my arms.

"I'm not with her," he said.

"Don't lie to me," I said.

"Only sometimes, but nothing happens," he said looking at me.

"Just stay," I beg once more.

"Okay, I'll stay," he said.

We go home and I take a bath in the hallway bathroom. Eli's parents go out, and Sam goes out for a quick candy run. I'm letting the water fill up the tub, when I hear a knock and the door opens. I assume it's Sam, but it's not.

"You look better without the shorts," Eli says peeking.

I scream and throw the bar of soap at him.

"Eli, what the hell are you doing in here?" I yell.

"Looking at you," he said smirking.

"Well get out," I say pointing to the door.

"And if I don't?" he asks tugging on the ends of the towel I wrapped around me.

"Sam can be here any minute," I said nervously.

"She won't be. The liquor is like two blocks away," Eli said coming closer. 

"Either way," I said as he pulls on the towel pulling me closer to him.

"Oh come on," he said pulling me to him.

Eli shut the door with his foot and pulled me where my back was against his chest. He sat on the floor with me in his lap. I leaned my head back into the crook of his neck, and he turned me around and he pressed his lips to the base of my throat. My eyes fluttered shut and he laughed.

"Go, because she's gonna be back any minute," I said getting up.

“You’re more afraid of me touching you then Sam coming back,” he teased, while running his hands up and down my bare thighs.

He got up and pulled me into his arms once more. I pushed him away and smiled. He winked at me and left. I got into the warm water and closed my eyes. How did he go from being my best friend's obnoxious brother to my secret lover. What the fuck was I saying I was almost fifteen what did I know about love. I closed my eyes tighter, and there was a knock on the bathroom door. I was jolted out of my confused state.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Sammie, can I come in?" Sam said opening the door and peeking her head through.

"What?" I asked.

"I got the candy, so hurry up so we can watch Mean Girls," she said smiling.

"Okay. I'll be out in a few," I said.

Sam left and I quickly washed my hair with my lilac shampoo I had left here, and looked for the soap which I couldn't find. I looked out and the bar of soap was on the counter where Eli had set it. I rolled my eyes and stole some of Sam's strawberry scented body wash. I got out and changed into Sam's borrowed gym shorts and a white T-shirt. I wrapped my hair in the towel and stepped out of the bathroom. I didn't see Eli behind me, and squealed when I turned around.

"You almost killed me," I said smacking him as he died laughing.

"You're such a girl, baby Holly," he said pushing me up against the wall.

I gulped as he traced a trail of kisses from my cheek to the base of my throat, and finally rested them in the hollow of my neck. His hands were on either side of my head on the wall, and I shut my eyes. He let out a low laugh and let me go. 

"Go, before Sam comes up and finds you messing with her brother," Eli said.

"She'd find her best friend getting harassed and scared half to death by her brother," I corrected.

"Whatever," he said rolling his eyes and going into his room and shutting the door.

I walked down the stairs and found Sam putting in the disc. We sat down on the couch and it began playing. Mid-way through the movie Sam started to ask questions about Austin.

"Do you like Austin?" she asked for the millionth time, by now Eli was sitting with us watching the movie and although he seemed to be watching the movie I knew he wanted to hear my answer.

"For the hundredth time no I don't like him. I- I don't like anyone," I said.

"You guys would be cute though," Sam said.

"Why don't you tell me if you like Guillermo," I said trying to change the subject.

"Like I said before, if he doesn't ask then we won't be anything," she said smiling.

"You won't be anything official," I teased.

"I don't like him. He's weird, and quiet," Eli said.

"Well no one was asking for your opinion." Sam retorted. 

"But I shared it," he shot back.

I sat there giggling as the two siblings stared each other down and neither of them would let the other win. They were so alike.

"What about Sabrina. I don't like her yet you're still with her," Sam said.

"I'm not with her," he said.

"Then why the hell do you guys always seem to disappear at one moment or another?" Sam asked.

"That's not for you to know," Eli said smoothly.

And in my head I thought, < Not for me to know, yet I still want to.>

"Then what happens between Guillermo and I is nothing for you to know," Sam spits his words back at him.

"Whatever happens between someone and my little sister, I do need to know," he argues.

"I'm not a little kid Eli. I'm already a teenager," Sam says stubbornly.

"You're still a kid," Eli says getting up and going up the stairs, ending the conversation.

"God, sometimes I can't stand him," Sam said.

"Yet you have to. He's your brother," I said.

"I'm sleepy let's go to bed," she says shutting off the TV.

We clean up our candy and head upstairs and we slipped into bed.

"Holly, why does he always pick and scrutinize everything I do, but I can't do the same to him?" Sam asks when we're laying in silence and darkness.

"I don't know baby," I say faking a yawn.

She leaves me alone after that and falls asleep instantly. I look at her digital clock and it reads 10: 47 p.m. I slip quietly out of her bedroom and across the hall where my boy is at. I slip into Eli's room, and once again he's fully dressed. 

"You're leaving," I said quietly climbing into the bed and settling myself next to him.

He doesn't have his TV turned on tonight. We're sitting in darkness and the only thing I can hear is the quiet inhale and exhale of his breathing. 

"I didn't promise," he said taking my hand in his.

I shut my eyes and pull my hand away.

"Don't be like that baby," Eli said pulling me against his chest.

"How can I not ? You tell me you'll stay and I believe you, and then I come and you leave," I said. 

"I never promised," he repeats.

"That's not a valid argument," I said.

"It doesn't need to be," he said.

"Stay," I plead.

He stays quiet, and I wrap my arms around him.

"Stay," I repeat louder.

"I don't know," he says wrapping his arms around me as well.

"I'm not letting you go," I said.

"That's not too hard to get away from," he says.

"Don't go," I said.

"I won't. Not tonight," he agrees.

I smile and he pulls me closer to him.

"That's all I want," I said.

"That's all you're gonna get," he said kissing my cheek.

"Is that so?" I tease.

"No," he says.

I hide my face in the crook of his neck and he rests his cheek against my head.

"I think I mean it when I tell you I love you," he whispered

"You think?" I asked.

"Now I know," he said.

"I've always known," I said.

"You know it's weird for me," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"To have someone love me," he said.

"Your mother loves you, and your father, and believe or not so does Sam," I said.

"I know, but like this," he said.

"What about Sabrina?" I hear myself ask.

"Nah she's just whoring around," he said.

"I don't know," I said.

"You don't need to because I will never love her back, 'cause my hearts taken," he said.

"By who?" I asked.

"My ginger angel," he said running his fingers through my natural straight hair.

I smile into his neck and press a kiss against it.

"I love your hair," he said.

"And I love you," I say.

We stay quiet and soon I fall asleep in my lover's arms, with a smile on my face, and love in my heart. 

Eli

Her eyes fluttered shut and her eyelashes kissed her freckled cheeks. I ran my thumb over her cheeks and hugged her tighter. I loved watching her sleep. She looked so innocent and beautiful. But that was all the time, not just when she slept. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with her in my arms. Hours later I heard her move and slip off my bed, I opened my eyes and found her by the door.

"Leaving already?" I asked, I looked at my clock and it was only 3 a.m.

"No, I was going to get water," she said.

"Do you want me to get it for you?" I asked rubbing my eyes now fully awake.

"No, I'm already up. I'll be back," she said slipping out of my room and into the hallway.

I sat up and reached over into my nightstand, and pulled out a cigarette and my blue Bic lighter. I slipped the cigarette into my waiting lips and put the lighter on the end, and watched the end turn orange with the burning embers. I put my lighter away and took a drag, feeling the smoke go into my lungs. I closed my eyes and heard my door open and shut. Holly was standing there with a glass of water and she sat on my black leather computer chair next to my bed. I blew the smoke out of my lips.

"I'd wish you wouldn't smoke," she said pulling her legs against her chest as she took a drink of water.

I rolled my eyes and took another drag, and on purpose blew it at her. She coughed and her glass fell and water spilled all over my sand colored carpet.

"I'm so sorry," she said bending down to pick up the cup, and looked for something to try to dry my floor with.

"Don't worry about it," I said.

She set the glass on my desk and curled up into my chair. She shivered and I pulled the chair over to me. I put out my cigarette, and flicked it out the window. I pulled her to me and she lay with her back against my chest, I kicked the chair back to my desk and wrapped her up in my sheets as we lay on our sides in my bed. I rested my head in the crook of her neck, and kissed her neck. She shivered, but this time I knew it wasn't because she was cold. I kissed her again and goose bumps rose on her arms. I pulled her hair away and left a trial of kisses from her neck to her temple. Her eyes shut and I rested my lips into the hollow under her ear. Her breathing slowed and became a steady rhythm. I knew she had fallen asleep. I closed my eyes, and felt my something inside of my heart move. I don't know how I could love her this much, I didn't know anyone could love someone else like I loved Holly. But she was so young, and naive. Yet she understood so much, she knew what I did when I was out, even if I didn't tell her. She didn't need my mouth to open and to tell her what I did, it was written all over my face. She turned around and was now facing the ceiling. I watched as her chest slowly rose and fell. I pressed my forehead against her temple, and held onto her. 

Sabrina didn't compare to Holly. I had seen and felt Sabrina, but she was no match for Holly, for my Holly. Even though I had never seen or felt anything more than what Holly let me, I already knew she was so much better than Sabrina. I knew, I wasn't the first to be with her, I'd heard stories of her at parties, and who could blame her. Her mother didn't care and she didn't have a father. I felt guilty, I had lied to Holly and said I had never fucked Sabrina. I only fucked her once, and I was so high I couldn't even pronounce my name. If I really loved Holly, I knew I would eventually have to tell her, but that could wait. I ran my fingers through Holly's hair and she smiled in her sleep. God, she was so fucking perfect, it hurt me sometimes. It was so hard to not beat the shit out of Austin when he would take her hand or look at her. Holly was mine. I didn't want anyone else to have her. 

I cared for Holly in a way I could barely understand. She drove me crazy wearing her shorts, and dresses. Hell, she drove me crazy wearing my sister's gym shorts. She just drove me crazy being her. She made my heart beat faster when she would kiss me back, when she would smile at me, and especially when she would look at me. All she had to do was look at me and she already had my heart running a marathon. I fell asleep thinking of how much Holly affected me. 

She woke me up again, and I sat up as she walked out of my room.

"Holly, wait," I said.

She stuck her head into my room.

"What?" she asked giving me a sleepy smile.

That was enough for my heart to go into frenzy.

“Come here baby,” I said.

She walked over to me and I pulled her in between my legs and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you," I said.

"Me too," she said.

My heart felt like it was going to explode. I decided to tease her a little bit as I Pulled her closer and left trails of kisses across her neck and bit in a few places. She whimpered and I laughed. She was so innocent, I knew I was the first to make her feel this way, and I love it.

She left and I fell back into my bed. They didn't smell like me anymore. They smelled like Holly. Her innocence, and beauty. I buried my face into my sheets, and fell asleep again, thinking of how much I loved Holly, my sweet baby Holly. 

(All rights reserved to Jaymes Young's Moondust)

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