Wouldn't Be A Lie

Her head was in the clouds, and his feet were glued to the ground. Playing like lovers in the moonlight, but never stepping out into the sunlight.

(In the process of being edited so I apologize for any craziness!!)

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15. Chapter Fifteen

Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

My old man is a bad man but
I can't deny the way he holds my hand
And he grabs me, he has me by my heart
He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past
He doesn't mind I have an LA crass way about me
He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart

Swimming pool glimmering darling
White bikini off with my red nail polish
Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples you
Sitting sipping on your black Cristal
Oh yeah

Light of my life, fire of my loins
Be a good baby, do what I want
Light of my life, fire of my loins
Give me them gold coins, gimme them coins

And I'm off to the races, cases of Bacardi chasers
Chasing me all over town
Cause he knows I'm wasted, facing
Time again at Riker's Island and I won't get out
Because I'm crazy, baby I need you to come here and save me
I'm your little scarlet, starlet singing in the garden
Kiss me on my open mouth
Ready for you

 

*Holly's P.o.v.*

I could feel someone drawing on my bare back, and when I opened my eyes to the dim early morning light it stopped.

"I never said you could stop," I mumbled.

A low laugh rang through the room and through my heart. A small kiss was planted near the hollow under my ear. I smiled and remembered the events of the night before. I turn my head to face him and his head is propped up by his arm.

"Morning," he said lowly.

"Good morning," I said stretching.

He pulls me closer to him and nuzzles and nips at the soft skin between my neck and shoulder. I giggle and he shushes me. I cover my mouth with my hands and fidget. He lets go and holds onto my hands. 

"Holly, I want you to know something," he said.

"And what's that?" I asked.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes and then responded.

"How much I love you," he finally said.

"That's what took you so long to tell me?" I said laughing and looking at the ceiling. 

"Yeah, I couldn't find a way to say it without sounding like a total dumbass," he said laughing.

"Well I love you too," I said taking his hand once more.

We stayed like that for the rest of the time until I had to go back. I slipped into my clothes and back into Sam's room to gather my bathroom things. I went into the bathroom and stripped myself of all my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. I had filled out more since Eli had gotten out of the hospital. My figure was back, and you could no longer see my ribs or any other bones that weren't supposed to be prominent. Eli dictated what I felt, who I was, and how I reacted to every little thing. 

I filled up the tub with lukewarm water and dipped inside. I leaned my head back and smiled. I could no longer be seen as a child to Eli, or at least I hoped. My smile fell away when I realized I couldn't tell Sam. Tell my best friend about my first time. It was her brother for God's sake, how would she react if she ever found out? I didn't want to know. Sometimes I felt like I was such a traitor. I constantly lied to her. I betrayed her every time I kissed her brother, every time I told him I loved him. 

I swallowed my guilt, and finished taking a shower. I got out and went back into Sam's room where she was already changed and sitting on her bed scrolling through her phone probably on Tumblr. 

"Hey baby girl," she said as I changed into dark denim shorts and a loose white tank top. 

"Morning baby love," I said flopping down next to her onto the bed.

"You look different," she commented.

"Different? How so?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"I don't know, but you look happier," she said.

I nodded my head and wondered if sex did this to people. I shrugged it off and we decided to stay here for the day and go to the beach tomorrow, when it was Friday. We headed downstairs, where Genevieve was offering Sabrina something to drink. Why the hell was this whore here? I rolled my eyes evidently and wished she would just go away. Eli came down the stairs and I could see he was just as surprised and annoyed to see her here as I was. I looked at him and he just shrugged.

Sam and I sat down on the couch turning to the TV, mostly to pry at their conversation.

"What do you want Sabrina?" Eli asked.

"I haven't seen you in awhile baby," she purred.

"Don't call me that, now what do you want?" he asked.

"I just wanna be with you," she said.

"Well I don't, you don't get that?" he said crossing his arms.

"Come on, you don't mean that," she said coming towards him.

"Yeah, I do. Now get out," he said pushing her away when she tried to wrap her arms around him.

Her face flashed a feeling of hurt, but as soon as it came it disappeared. 

"Whatever, Eli. I know you won't be able to keep away," she said walking down into the foyer and out the door. 

Sam had a satisfied look on her face, but my expression didn't mirror hers. Sure, I was glad he had pushed her away, but how long before she came back? And what if that time he didn't refuse? I know I shouldn't think this way especially after what we just did, but I couldn't help but be insecure. Sam left to go get some snacks from the pantry, and I was left alone with Eli who belly flopped on the couch. He looked up at me and ran his fingers up my bare thigh. 

"Eli, stop it," I whispered.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" he smirked.

I slapped his hand away, and stood up. He stood with me and took hold of my waist and then sat me down on his lap, which I struggled to get out of. 

"Sam is gonna walk in, and think we're fucking weirdos," I said pushing his arms away.

"Did princess pie just cuss?" he teased tickling me.

"No, stop. You know I'm ticklish," I said giggling. 

"Nope," he said continuing to tickle me.

Sure enough, Sam walked in. She rolled her eyes and I pleaded for help. She tackled her brother, and soon we became a tangle of limbs. Minutes after we untangled ourselves, we were all eating different snacks, well mostly I was. I took all the sugary sweet Twinkies Sam brought and refused to share.

"Holly, your teeth are gonna rot, and you're gonna die," Eli said.

"No I'm not," I argued eating the last one.

"You're gonna get fat then," he said.

"Are you implying I already am?" I asked.

"No, you will get fat if you keep eating those though," he said poking me from the side.

"Shut up Eli. Holly let's hit the beach today. It's too hot to be here," Sam whined.

"Okay. Eli you coming?" I asked as Sam excitedly flew up the stairs to change. 

"Only, if Austin doesn't go," he said seriously.

"I can't promise you that, but I won't leave with him," I said batting my eyelashes the way I'd seen in movies.

"Okay I'll go, only if you stop batting your eyelashes like a dumbass babe," he said getting up.

"I am not one," I said putting my hands on my hips.

He covered my hands with his and pulled me closer to him. He set me down on his lap and brought my face to his. 

"I love you," he whispered. 

"I love you more," I said my heart race picked up.

"But I love you most," he responded as closed the distance between us. 

I could taste sugar, weed, and danger on his lips. His grip tightened and he attempted to push me down. I pushed him slightly away and shook my head.

"Later," I said as I pressed him lips to the side of his neck. 

I got up and went up the stairs to change. Sam was already packing her beach bag as I took off my clothes and dug through Sam's swimsuit drawer. I pulled out an white two piece set, and slipped it on. I slipped on the denim shorts I had and packed my bag with sunscreen, two towels and water bottles. I slipped on black studded sandals and walked back down the stairs and set me bag down on the couch, and sat down, scrolling through Tumblr. Sam came down, threw her bag at me, and ran outside on her skateboard. 

I rolled my eyes and kept scrolling through Tumblr. Eli sauntered down the steps and smirked at my shirtless state, and I stared at his. 

"See something you like?" he smirked.

"I don't know what about you?" I shot.

"I see lots, it takes all in me, not to fuck you right there on the couch baby girl," he said winking.

My face flushed a bright red and I hid my face in my hands.

"Aw, what it's too inappropriate for the princess?" he asked shaking me.

"No, I'm just not used to you saying things like that," I insisted.

"Saying dirty things, like I wanna rip those shorts, and that bathing suit off of you, and fuck you on my couch?" he said making my blush deepen.  

"Eli, stop it. We need to go," I said getting up. 

"Not yet," he said sensually before pulling me to his warm and shirtless body, and crashing his lips harshly against mine.

He opened my mouth with his and his hands reached behind to the back strap of my bikini top. As he let it come loose, I pushed him away in rejection. 

"Not now, for all we know your mom could've come in or your sister, or someone," I said reaching behind me to re-tie the knot. 

"Who cares, baby? I don't," he said. 

"I do what would they think?" I asked.

"Who fucking cares, Holly. All that matters is that I fucking love you, isn't that enough?" he argued his temper rising. 

"It is enough, but not for them," I said looking down.

"Whatever, Holly," he said walking past me angrily.

I hated when he did that. He knows what would happen. My parents aren't exactly accepting of him and his ways. They suspect he's chemically dependent, but I never elaborate whether he is or isn’t even though I already know he is. And as much as I dream that his family will accept me that way, I know they probably won't. I'm known as their daughter's best friend, the third child they never had, not as their son's secret lover. I shook this off and walked out with Sam and I's bags in tow. Eli was on his skateboard doing tricks trying to outdo Sam on her own skateboard. Eli or Sam had the decency to pull out my red beach cruiser. I put both our bags in the basket and hopped on. I pedaled in front of them catching their attention, and had them follow me to down the oh so familiar road we took to the beach.

We finally arrived at the beach and I parked my bike at the bike rack and we went in search of our usual spot. We laid down our towels and they set down their skateboards. I pulled off my denim shorts and laid down on the towel while Sam went to go get cotton candy at the nearby food stand. That left only Eli with me. He laid down next to me and laced our fingers together. I didn't pull away this time. Not yet, anyway. I knew I'd have too sooner rather than later.

"Holly?" he said as a question.

"Yeah baby?" I asked.

"Do you honestly love me?" he asked.

"Why would you ask such a stupid question? Of course I love you," I said sitting up and pushing his always borrowed Ray Bans to the top of my head.

"Because I'm such an ass most of the time. And I've never really had what I have with you, with anyone," he said looking at me.

"Then I'm glad I'm your first," I said smiling sitting Indian style on my towel. 

"I'm glad I was your first," he said winking.

"Oh shut up," I said blushing furiously.

He threw his head back and laughed. The sun glinted off his hair and my heart fluttered inside my chest. He was so beautiful. I knew he loved to see me fall. Fall more in love with him every single day. I was so lucky to have him in my life, and have him be mine. I looked around to see that no one that we knew was around and I flung myself onto his lap. His eyes grew wide, but then got my message, and he crashed his lips onto mine. His tongue parted my lips open and I eagerly gave them access. He rolled us over to where I was laying on the warmed sand and he was on top. We stayed like that for several moments until we knew we had to part. He smiled and gave my forehead one last kiss before rolling off onto his towel again. 

Sam came and brought two more people with her who were very familiar. I internally groaned. But then I saw something that didn't bother me, but it certainly didn't please me either. Guillermo came hand in hand with Sam while they were eating two matching swabs of blue cotton candy, but that was expected. What wasn't expected was Austin and Alyssa together. His arm around her slender waist as she wore nothing more than a simple black flamingo print two piece bathing suit, and he wore electric blue board shorts and nothing more. 

My heart somewhat dropped, but then I remembered who my boy was. And where my boy was. Behind me. Then I completely remembered who my boy really was. My sister's brother. Someone I could be with in public, fearing that my friendship would be ruined and I would never see him again. 

"Hi," I said breaking the somewhat awkward silence.

"Hey," Austin said waving with his free arm.

"I didn't know you two were together," I said.

"Yeah, we are," he said sitting down next to me.

"How cool," I said.

The conversation quickly died off and the awkward tension in the air was back, and was unbearably suffocating. They soon left to be "alone" half an hour later. It was now 6:30 and the sun was beginning to set. Sam and I had packed everything and we were about to go, when I suddenly wanted time alone with my boy. The beach was half-empty. 

"You guys go home, or wherever it is you wanna go. I think I'm gonna stay here awhile," I said pulling on my black cardigan over my two piece. 

"I was actually going to hang at Guillermo's for a little while. Don't wait up for me Holly baby," she said whispering the last part to me, before taking our bags and leaving. 

I waved goodbye. Eli looked at me confused.

"What?" I asked him.

"How come you didn't want to go home?" he asked sitting on the sand.

"'Cause I wanted some time with you, but in a way that wasn't obvious," I said sitting next to him and leaning into his taller frame.

"That's different," he said pulling me onto his lap.

"I guess. Come one let's go in the water. We came and never once went in," I said getting up and pulling him up.

I dragged him to the shore and we ran into the water. It was a freezing temperature before my body finally got used to it. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist and he kissed me as the sun set. We spent the rest of the time in the water until no one was left at the beach.

"What time is it?" I said.

"Almost midnight," he said looking at his phone.

"How does your phone not break?" I asked.

"I don't fucking know," he said laughing.

We were on the shore now letting the waves lap at our feet. I let myself go and land on the wet sand. He joined me seconds later.

"You're not being responsible today. Why?" he asked.

"I don't fucking know," I said repeating the words he said not too long ago.

"If it's because of Austin and Alyssa-" he started.

"It isn't. I just want a chance to enjoy being with you somewhere outside of your room," I interrupted.

He just laughed and brought me closer to him. I shivered and instinctively leaned closer to his body. He turned on his side to look at me and ran his thumb lightly over my lips. My eyes fluttered and so did my heart. My boy had that effect on me. He leaned in and kissed my soft and full lips. He hovered over my small and fragile frame and it was like last night all over again. Only this time the clothing removal was a faster process. His hands soon untied both knots on my bathing suit top, and it came away. Soon my bottoms came away too, and so did his black and white checkered swim trunks. His body joined mine, and once again I didn't know where my body ended and his began. At a time like this we became one. Holly and Eli. Eli and Holly. The only witness of our love tonight was the moon who shone as bright as it could for us. Without Eli, I had nothing. Without him I was nothing and nothing had meaning. His love was deadly, but I took my chances with my boy. And I already knew he loved me with every beat of his cocaine heart.

(All rights and respects to Lana Del Rey's Off To The Races, one of my top ten favorite songs.  Anyway many of you have probably wondered at one point "Hey why the heck does she put song lyrics at the beginning of her chapters?" right? Well the point of the lyrics are for them to relate to the chapter and for you to also listen to the song while reading the chapter. I mean you don't have to, make I think it captures your guys' attention more. (: So yeah that's what they're for. Love you guys so much! xxxx)

 

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