Wouldn't Be A Lie

Her head was in the clouds, and his feet were glued to the ground. Playing like lovers in the moonlight, but never stepping out into the sunlight.

(In the process of being edited so I apologize for any craziness!!)

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18. Chapter Eighteen

Beautiful Goodbye by Maroon 5

I count the ways I let you down
On my fingers and toes but I'm running out
Clever words can't help me now
I grip you tight but you're slipping out

And I remember your eyes were so bright
When I first met you, so in love that night
And now I'm kissing your tears goodnight
And I can't take it, you're even perfect when you cry

Beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)
Your beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)
Oh yeah

When did the rain become a storm?
When did the clouds begin to form?
Yeah, we got knocked off course by a natural force
And we'll, we'll be swimming when it's gone

And I remember your eyes were so bright
When I first met you, so in love that night
And now I'm kissing your tears goodnight
And I can't take it, you're even perfect when you cry

Beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)
Your beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)
Oh yeah

All the pain you try to hide
Shows through your mascara lines
As they stream down from your eyes

And let them go, let them fly
Holding back won't turn back time
Believe me, I've tried

Your eyes were so bright
And I remember your eyes were so bright
And I remember your eyes were so bright
When I first met you, how in love were we that night?
And now I'm kissing your tears goodnight
And I can't take it, you're even perfect when you cry

Beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)
Your beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)

 

*Holly's P.o.v*  

My sophomore year and Eli's junior year had been a rush. I had moved onto my junior year with straight A's, the star of the track team, and a model student. Eli had barely even passed any class. I don't know how they kept passing him with C's. All I know is that every day that passed by in my current junior year and Eli's senior year frightened me more and more. What would we do when Eli was forced to go to college? Because I knew he didn't want to go on his own if it meant leaving me. 

. I told him he should at least go to community college, and when he suggested it to his parents, his mom threw a fit. She didn't want her son at a community college when they had already assured him a place at Penn State.

He refused to go, for at least another year, knowing I always had wanted to go to Penn State. So he was going to wait until then. He was just two months away from graduation, it was March, prom month. A lot of girls had already ordered their dresses, date or not. I was sitting with Sam on her couch, our mothers in the kitchen discussing what sort of double date they would go on, now that Genevieve had gotten mom a new boyfriend, Anthony.

Secretly, I had been waiting for Eli to ask me to prom, not that I really anticipated it. Especially since it was a very public event and public wasn't our thing. Speaking of Eli, he had walked in with John. John ruffled Sam’s hair and pulled her into his arms. Eli threw him a dangerous look and John more or less back off.

“So prom is in a couple weeks,” John said.

“Yeah we know,” Sam said.

"I'm taking you," John said.

"Who said I wanted you to be my date? What if I already have one?" Sam teased.

"Who would your date be? Guillermo? I thought you guys were over," he said his tone a little softer knowing very well that Guillermo was still a sensitive subject after they broke things off a month ago. 

"No, you know things are over, and you know I don't want to talk about him," she said as she got up and left out the door.

Eli punched him and John followed her out. I'm sure she would accept his sort of proposal to prom. He scooted closer to me, and all I wanted to do was be in his arms, but knowing how close everyone was, I knew I couldn't. We were watching reruns of Awkward. When he cleared his throat and his cheeks started to turn a bright pink. 

"Are you okay?" I asked putting the back of my hand to his cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just I wanted to ask you to prom, but I know I couldn't do it in a big way," he said softly.

"It doesn't matter as long as I get to go with you," I said intertwining our hands together. 

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Sam and I were snapping the last straps on our heels and zipping up our dresses. I let Sam take a look in the mirror first, her hair was pin straight and now that she had let it grow, it reached her hips. Her dress was a floor length black dress with a slit that reached mid thigh, and she had red pumps that contrasted her dress. Her mom tried as hard as she could to talk her out of that dress. But as soon as Sam tried it on there was no way she was going to trade it up for some of the more girly and pink dresses her mom had in mind.

"You look good, John's gonna pass out as soon as he sees you," I reassured her hugging her from behind.

It turns out that I wasn't the only one keeping a secret. John and Sam were more than friends for the last couple of months, but it didn't mean I could tell her about me and her brother. They finally decided to become an official couple a couple of weeks before. 

She pushed me towards the mirror and I looked at myself. Sam's mom had more than fun helping me pick out my dress since I was more open to the pink dresses than Sam was. I finally decided on a strapless dress that started out with silver sparkles and towards the knee in let out in light pink chiffon layers. When I walked out of the dressing room my mom started crying and I could only blush. I was wearing silver pumps to match and my hair was up in a sideways chignon. 

"Well I do believe the boys are ready and anxiously waiting downstairs for you two lovely ladies," Sam's father said peeking through the door.

"Thanks, daddy," Sam said giving him a smile.

My heart twisted at Sam's dad hugging her and telling her how beautiful she looked, sadly my father wasn't here to do the same. Sam's dad pulled me in too and kissed my forehead.

"You two look so lovely and I'm proud to have you both as daughters," he said hugging us both. 

I appreciated his effort to include me but it wasn't the same. We each took one of his arms and the sides of our dresses and descended down the stairs. Our mom's cameras flashed away and I heard both boys gasp as we stopped right in front of them. I shyly looked at the ground before meeting Eli's eyes. His eyes were misty as he tried to put my white rose with silver ribbons corsage. After he was done I pinned the white rose boutonniere I had bought to his classic black tux. John had bought Sam a red and white lily corsage with red ribbons and she pinned the red and white lily to his tux and we all posed for too many pictures.

"Moms by the time you guys are done the prom will be over and it'll be our senior prom," Sam complained.

"Just one more group shot honey," she said as we posed for (hopefully) the last group shot.

After the last group shot we all piled up into the limo that was rented for the night and Eli served us all flutes of champagne. We arrived at the senior prom slightly tipsy and ready to enjoy the night. I danced all night with Eli and danced at least once with each graduating boy from our small group. John and Sam went to his house and Eli was hesitant at first, but he knew he had to let his little sister go at one point. He had the limo chauffeur go and retrieve his car and he drove us to the beach that was mostly empty. I shed my heels and we walked hand in hand on the beach. We got tired and lay on the hood of his car and just watched the stars twinkling.

"You're graduating next Friday," I commented.

"Yeah, I know," he said taking my hand and kissing it.

"What are you gonna do after that?" I asked.

"You already know that Holly. I'm gonna have a gap year and wait for you so we can go to Penn State. My parents already arranged for me to start after you and Sam graduate," he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"I know that, but what about us?" I asked.

He let out a deep sigh and turned to look at me.

"We can finally be free, no more hiding, no more lying. I promise you that much," he said stroking the side of my face.

"Will we tell them?" I asked.

"You know we will, they have to find out sooner rather than when they get a wedding invitation don't you think?" he said laughing softly.

My heart thudded in my chest. I nodded and looked back up at the sky. There were so many possibilities for us in a year. We could finally stop hiding behind closed doors and finally I could love Eli freely. I didn't know they would take it, seeing as how Eli's dad almost died when he found out about Sam and John. But I honestly couldn't care as long as Eli was by my side.

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Eli's graduation was here. Sam's family and what was left of mine were sitting in the front row waiting for them to call John's and Eli's names. 

"Eli Plascencia," the principal called out.

We all stood up and cheered and his baby picture was projected onto the screen and he shook the principal's hand and he took his diploma and he sat back down. We waited some more patiently than others, until John's name was called.

"John Zavala," the principal called and they shook hands and he too took his diploma.

Sam cheered the loudest and she jumped up and down and even shed a few tears.

"I now present to you the graduated class of 2013," the principal shouted into the mic as all the seniors threw their caps into the air.

Soon the whole ordeal was over and I was the first one to run into Eli's arms, I was being a little less careful with showing my affections, besides what was one more year? He allowed a brief hug before pushing me away and I would be lying if I said it didn't sting. It sort of did but then we all soon were piled up in the car and driving off to a fancy dinner. After we ate dinner and were picking at our dessert Genevieve was mentioning to my mom how she was happy that Eli at least conformed to moving to University Park where Penn State was, with John until he entered school to have a sort of feel to the city. I almost choked on my chocolate cake.

"I'm sorry but he's what?" I asked.

"Oh darling, didn't he tell you? Well I doubt he did, Sam didn't even know until today too. Yeah, John and Eli catching a flight tomorrow, all his things are already packed," she said nonchalantly as she turned and sipped more of her red wine and began another conversation with my mother.

I spent the rest of the time in a crappy mood and my mom dropped off a bag for me to stay over since she wanted me to spend time saying goodbye to Eli and she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend. We spent most of the time watching movies and John and Sam said goodnight and retreated to her room, I decided to spend the night in the guest room, seeing as I did not want to be in the same room as John and Sam as they said or more likely did their goodbye.

"Well I'm gonna turn in for the night," I said.

"Are you still gonna keep ignoring me? Just because I didn't tell you? My sister didn't even know," he said.

"I'm not ignoring you if I'm talking to you am I?" I said.

Just then Sam and John came down the stairs.

"We're gonna go to John's house instead," Sam said.

"No you're not," Eli said.

"Yeah we are, besides you don't tell me what to do," Sam said.

"John, come on. Are you serious?" Eli asked.

"Sorry, see you all tomorrow morning," he said.

We heard the car engine turn on and drift off as they left.

"Like I said goodnight," I said turning and walking into the guest room.

I heard Eli walk behind me and I slammed the door shut. He knocked.

"Go away. I'm tired," I said.

"Are you seriously gonna spend the last night we have together like this?" he asked through the door.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes and let myself fall back on the bed.

"Holly, this is my last night and you're gonna spend it acting like a fucking child," he said.

"I'm not the one who lied and said 'yeah I'll wait for you' only to leave a day after he graduates," I said bitterly.

"This is the only way my parents would let me have a gap year, the only way I could wait for you, and you're gonna act ungrateful?" he yelled.

"I am not ungrateful, you could've just told me that that was you're only option before," I yelled back.

"God Holy you are such a child," he said.

"If I'm such a child and it bothers you that much why don't we just end whatever the hell we have here? I'm sure you can find someone in Pennsylvania, or better yet take Sabrina with you," I yelled the tears already gushing out of my eyes.

"Jesus Christ Holly that's not what I meant and you know it,” he said opening the door.

"You didn't have to say it," I said turning away from him.

He crawled into the bed with me and I scooted away. This really wasn't the way I wanted to spend tonight, but I just couldn't deal with him leaving, just like a lot of other people had.

"Holly, please, I'm sorry," he begged.

"No, you're not forgiven. You really fucked up this time," I said.

"Shit Holly, for you I'm always the screw up. I'm the only one who can make a fucking mistake. What about you? Look at how fucking childish you're acting; you don't think it hurts me to see you pull away from me? Especially on my last fucking night here? I already said I was sorry, what else do you want me to do? I'm so fucking tired of trying to make you happy," he shouted.

I got up and turned to face him as he stood up too. 

"Then go and find someone who can make you fucking happy, Eli. Since it's obviously not me," I yelled.

He raised his hand as if to hit me and my eyes just went wide. He wouldn't would he? He didn't, he realized what he was going to do and lowered his hand. 

"I would never," he started.

"Would you?" I asked still scared.

He tried to reach for me but I pulled away.

"No, don't be scared, I wouldn't. I couldn't. I was just angry and hurt, you know I would never hurt you," he said 

I let him wrap his arms around me and I let myself fall apart in his arms and he cried with me. He took us back to the bed and wrapped us up in the duvet. I cried because I was scared, and I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want him to go and leave me alone. I gave myself to him that night, as if it was the first time. Even though it wasn't. I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me, and I woke up with him tracing his fingers up and down my bare side. It was 5 am and his parents and his sister and John were home too. But I couldn't give a damn if we were caught today. 

"I have to go and get ready," he said softly.

"I know," I whispered.

And with that he slipped on his clothes and left upstairs to get ready. I slipped on my clothes and headed to Sam's room.

"Morning," she said her eyes red.

"Morning," I said.

We got dressed in jeans and sweaters and we headed downstairs where the boys were and where Genevieve was fussing over both of them. Sam's dad had already put their entire luggage in the truck of the car and they were about to leave. Genevieve cried the most, and Sam just hugged John, and I finally hugged Eli.

"I guess this is goodbye," I said in his ear.

"It's not, I'll come back and visit and I'll wait for you, I promise," he said.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too," he repeated.

He kissed my forehead and Sam, Genevieve and I all watched from the driveway as the car they were in grew smaller and smaller until I we couldn't see it anymore. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I knew it was him. 

~ I'll see you soon. I love you.

- Eli xx ~

 

(All rights and respects to Maroon 5's Beautiful Goodbye. Sorry I haven't been updating often, I didn't have a lot of free time, but here it is. Hope you like it. Love you all xxx)

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