Discretionary consciousness

Reevaluation of self and perception of the world after ending a passionate affair. There is a lack of discretion without another to review your thoughts and correct their feral nature. To be stripped of civility. These are unapologetic thoughts without fear of retaliation all too ignorantly. To know pervasive doom that stuffs up rooms. To sleep lawlessly to dreams that could convict you. Where does one learn to love when to hate can seem more realistic at times? A recurrence of apathy being the resulting end to all emotions for all their grandiose design. The catalogue of thoughts of an excommunicated individual or some random rogue. half meant half not at considerable loss

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19. makeshift relationship

rubbing in a friendly way

she would play

 a comically sly and ironically wry

pre-marriage state

risking exposure of forbidden hunger at random

distrusting ideals (unreal)

denouncing fantasy (futile)

to become a fault free entity

functioning reliably without whim

purging passion for lifelong comfort longitude

facilitating death slowly

efficiency for a lifetime

victory essentially static

........................................

 overabundant sprayings of sparks set fire to the past

a stockpile fueling the future to an undetermined date

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