Begin Again

"WHAT?!" she yells in disbelief.
"YES!!!!! BUT TRUST ME, AD!!!" I yell. I stay crouched holding the hood of the car every time Niall swerves.
She then steadily tries standing up. Colt swerves crazily, "AHHHH!!!!"
"Harry! Your plan- whatever it is- will kill her and you!!" Niall yells from the wheel.
"Didn't I just say... TRUST ME!!!"
I look towards Addie. She's crouching now holding onto the hood. I look to the gaping hole between us and the two roads. Her brother goes in for another hit in the wall.
"NOW!!!!" I yell.
She jumps. I jump towards her. We're flying through the air.
"HARRY!!!!!" Niall yells.
Addie screaming. I grab her when we meet each other in the air.I take all the weight and shift us so that she's on top of me when we fall onto the other road. We fall down.
"I love you!" I yell.
We then slam through a car driving. What great timing. I hit my head on the windshield...


30. Chapter 28

Eleanor, and Perrie, practically dragged me to the car. I just hope nothing goes wrong. I really don't need anything else breaking my heart. 

I sat quietly in the backseat like a little girl, while Eleanor and Perrie chatted. They would occasionally look towards me or ask me questions. I would just answer in a word, sentence or nodd. But all I kept thinking about was, Harry. Like if Harry was still here, would Louis still be mad at me? Or, would Harry and I really be together? 'Harry... why did you have to leave?'

"Addie? Addie?"

"Huh? What sorry?" I said looking up to Perrie.

She sighed, "I said, what do you think of going dress shopping?"


"For.... Harry's..." Eleanor spoke quietly.

"Oh..... Right...." I choked out. I breathed in deeply and let a shaky breath out, "I kinda just want to go home."

"You sure?" Perrie asked.

"Ya... I think leaving was a bad idea."

They both just nodded. I slumped back down on the seat. A tear fell from my eyes as I thought of what they had said. I can't really avoid this can I? But, I just don't want to deal with this right now. 


We arrived back home 30 minutes ago. Eleanor had given me a stern lecture that if she found out I was locked in my room again, she would break into my room and drag me out. I know she just doesn't want to see me like this.... but I can't stop..... I can't stop feeling like this. I walked around our huge home. And I soon finally had the courage to head into Harry's room. I slowly turned the door knob. It was the same as it was before. Just as he left it before my panic attack. I walked over to his bed and sat down. I looked around his room. I crawled into his bed's covers. I snuggled in and made myself comfortable. I reached over for his pillow and clutched it close to me. Everything here was him. It smelt like him.... pictures everywhere, of us, him, everyone, him and the boys.... his room even felt like him... as if he was right here beside me. I finally let the tears come as I held onto his pillow. Then in the corner of my eye... I saw something. It was a little box wrapped with a ribbon on top. I slowly got out of bed.

I walked over to the object. Curious of what it was I picked it up. It was a small box. It had a tag on it. I turned it around to read the name.

To My dearest Addilyn

More tears came. My birthday... It was in two days. 

"I have something really special for you!" Harry said.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"It's a surprise... but I know you'll love it. It's really from Louis, Niall, and I. But I mostly thought of it. They just helped me out," he smirked.

"I see you're taking all the credit," I laughed.

"Well, duh. It was my idea in the first place. I know you'll love it! It took a long time and I'm glad that it was finished a week before your birthday."

"Really? Well then, I guess you better show me!" I smiled.

"Na uh! You have to wait for next Saturday!"

Was this his surprise? I slowly opened the gift. There was a letter on top.

You were born on a memorable day. A day of Remembrance. From now, 'til the end of time, I will always remember you. On the 11th month, the 11thday and the 11th hour. I will not only remember those who have died in battle, I will remember the girl who saved me from death. without you, my life would be a horrible place. I'm glad I found you. Inside is a bracelet. I bought 50 charms for you. And every year, until we die, I will give you each one. Also there is a key inside. I'll let you find where it goes to. :) xx

                                                                                                                With Love,


More tears fell. I looked inside, there was a charm bracelet. There was already a charm on it. It said H&A. The letters were beautifully intertwined. One charm, 49 left to go... but none to have. I then took the key out. It was beautiful... It was hanging from a chain, so it could be worn like a necklace. 

Where does this go to? I wondered. I wiped my eyes. Niall... I can talk to him. Obviously I can't talk to Louis. I put everything back into the box and closed it. I walked down the steps to find Eleanor in the kitchen. 

"El... where is everyone?"

"They all went to the movies. It's just Niall, you and I."

Perfect, "Um... where's Niall?"

"I think he went to take a shower. Why? Is something wrong?"

"I... I found this." 

I took the box from behind my back.

"That's..." she said slowly.

''You know what this is?" 

"Ya... I was kinda in on it, when they needed someone to... well design."

"Design? Design what?" I asked.

"What are you all talking about?" a half naked Niall walked down the steps. His hair was wet and he was just wearing his boxers.

"Put some clothes on Ni, we need to show Addie, the thing Harry was doing for her," Eleanor spoke.


"I found this in Harry's room," I said showing him the box. Tears brimmed my eyes when realization hit. Harry, will never be able to show me his surprise, or give me any charms, because he's dead. And it's my fault.

Niall stared at the box, then at me, then at El. He nodded and quickly ran up the stairs. He soon came back down wearing a shirt and pants. He was holding a clear box with something inside. 

"These... are, well... the charms," he showed me, "Harry said that if anything ever happened to him, that I'd be to give you one every year."

I took the box. I looked at all the beautiful charms that were inside. Tears showered over the box. I just stared at them. Niall walked closer to me. He held the hand holding the box. I let him take it and set it down on the counter. He took his hand and brought it up to my chin. Niall looked me straight in the eyes. His expression showed sadness and sympathy. He then cupped my face with his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

"Stop crying Addie... I hate watching you like this. I'm sorry... for what Louis did. For everything."

I stayed silent and nodded. I looked down to the box. Eleanor then came up to me. 

"Let's go?" 

I nodded and I let them lead the way.


 It was a short walk from the house. We walked out to the backyard and into the forest. And soon we arrived infront of a little glass house by the lake.

 It was beautiful. Inside was a grand piano in the middle of the home, acoustic guitars along the walls, and a small box room for recording music. There was anything I needed to write and play music. It was amazing. He went through all this effort for me... to make me happy. Eleanor and Niall stepped aside as I slowly walked towards it. I took the box in my hands and opened it. I took the key out and placed it in the lock. It clicked. I turned the door knob and walked inside. 

"This is amazing...." I said in awe.

"I know. I designed it!" Eleanor said.

I laughed slightly. 

"I wish he was here to see your face," El said.

Niall walked up to me, "You mind?"

He then took the key necklace from my hand. I pushed my hair to the side as he put it on me. Eleanor then took the box.

"I'm gonna head back. The others might get worried and wonder where we are."

"Alright," I said. I smiled at her and mouthed a thank you. And she giggled and walked off.

"Thanks Ni..."

"For what? I didn't do all this."

"No... But you helped out. And if it weren't for you I would have never found this place."

He smiled, "No problem... I'd do anything for you, Addie."

I looked up at him. He leaned in closer, but I turned my head away. He breathed out and stepped back.

"I'll be outside if you need me."

He then left my side. I sighed, 'He was going to kiss me.... I'm not ready.' I thought. I then sat down in front of the table. On the ledge, was music sheets.... for a song. Our song. The song Harry and I wrote. 

(okay so just pretend Harry and Addie wrote, Almost is Never Enough.)

I started to play. But I couldn't bring myself to singing the lyrics. I couldn't do it, because it's true. Almost IS never enough. We were so close to being in love, and knowing what love was. But now... I'll never know. I started to play the notes more harshly as I cried. Then I just banged on the keys, making unnecessary noise. Niall ran up behind me and grabbed my hands. By now there was blood from banging on the keys so hard. My hands stung but I didn't care.

"Shh... Addie. Shh... it's okay," Niall said hugging me.

But it's not. He then went over to the cupboard and grabbed some gauze. He cleansed my hands with alcohol - which stung like hell by the way - and then wrapped them in gauze. Suddenly there was a loud scream that rang through. I looked at Niall. We got up and ran into the woods heading for the house. We noticed the glass in the window was broken. We barged through. And there laying on the floor was Eleanor. She had a stab to her stomach. Tears fell from her eyes. Perrie was kneeling beside her. She must have been the one to scream.

"El!" I yelled.

I ran towards her and Perrie, "What happened?!" Niall exclaimed.

"I-I don't know, I just found her he-here."

 Soon Liam and Zayn ran in. Behind them was Louis.

"ELEANOR!" He yelled. He pushed passed Liam and Zayn. And pushed me out of the way.


"This is not her fault Louis!" Niall yelled at him.

Louis just glared at Niall and picked El, up and ran out the front door. 

"What the hell happened? Who'd do this?" Perrie cried.

"Maybe a robbery?" Liam suggested.

"No..." I croaked.

They all looked at me, "Colt."

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