Dear Harry

You've been gone for two weeks now. I haven't been coping well. The boys have even sent me to a therapist to help me forget. But I can't forget. You're all I ever think about. Your luscious curls, the way you smile lights up a room, your green eyes that I love so much. You're impossible to forget. I don't want to forget.

Of course the boys are worried about me. I'm even worried about me. My therapist is worried as well, and that's why she has handed me this journal, so I can write down my innermost thoughts. I have to give it to her every week to read over, but I just feel so weird giving it to her. Most of my thoughts revolve around you, so I guess that's why she wants to read it over, to make sure I'm handling everything well.

But to be honest, I'm not, and yes I'm fairly aware she will read this. But the truth has got to come out sooner or later, yeah? She never specifically told me what to write, but just that I have to write. So I'm writing to you. Starting from day one.


44. Day seventy-three

I emerged from the flat this morning, in just a bathrobe and slippers. The sun was shining harshly in my eyes, and I frowned in distaste. All I needed was some milk for my cereal, but of course, nothing always goes as planned.
At the sight of me, about four or five girls began to squeal, instantly ushering themselves closer to me. I really wasn’t in the mood, but I put on the show. You know how that goes. They began to chatter excitedly to me, talking about absolutely nothing that mattered to me, and I forced a tight grin on my face.
Suddenly they became quiet as they took in my appearance, and one slowly stepped forward to give me a small hug. Though it may have just been an excuse to touch me, I appreciated the girl’s gesture. I didn’t mean to, but I began to cry in her arms. She only stood there, holding me until my cries ceased to sniffling and backed away to wipe my tears.
“We all loved him, you know. You two loved each other though, and that was obvious. He loved you so much Lou, don’t forget that. Don’t you ever forget that.” She had whispered, and squeezed me one last time before walking away.
She hadn’t even asked for an autograph or a picture, and that’s when I realized: our fans truly do care. It’s not just about the fact that we’re famous, or “cute”.
I realized a lot today.
But one huge thing in particular that I feel the need to share with you is that I realized I can’t live without you.

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