Dear Harry

You've been gone for two weeks now. I haven't been coping well. The boys have even sent me to a therapist to help me forget. But I can't forget. You're all I ever think about. Your luscious curls, the way you smile lights up a room, your green eyes that I love so much. You're impossible to forget. I don't want to forget.

Of course the boys are worried about me. I'm even worried about me. My therapist is worried as well, and that's why she has handed me this journal, so I can write down my innermost thoughts. I have to give it to her every week to read over, but I just feel so weird giving it to her. Most of my thoughts revolve around you, so I guess that's why she wants to read it over, to make sure I'm handling everything well.

But to be honest, I'm not, and yes I'm fairly aware she will read this. But the truth has got to come out sooner or later, yeah? She never specifically told me what to write, but just that I have to write. So I'm writing to you. Starting from day one.

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13. Day seventeen-twenty

I’m sorry I forgot to write an entry the past few days. To be honest, I haven’t even left my bed. I’m just so TIRED. I guess you would understand, since you’re asleep for an eternity now. Was that rude to say? I don’t know. I don’t know what happens after you pass, but some have said it’s just a world of black you’re surrounded in. God, I sure hope you’re not sitting in blackness Harry, you deserve to sing with the angels.
I bet you’d sound pretty good harmonizing with them, I’ve always thought you had a voice like the angels. Maybe you could be my guardian angel and sing me to sleep sometime, okay?
Anyways, back to the previous days. As I said, I’ve just been so tired. I haven’t left my bed. All I have to accompany me is my laptop, which I don’t mind. There are tons to do online. But I try my best to avoid any social networking sites. I’m just not ready to face the real world quite yet.
Niall has stopped by quite a bit. I think he’s the most worried about me out of everyone. I used to be the one who always smiled, and always brightened everyone else’s day. Now that I’m no longer that person, Niall tries to be there. He tries to make me smile, and I appreciate the effort.
I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to smile again.

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