anguish of love (former musings)

former musings of heartfelt love for one and the anguish of their absence

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4. (prior to musings) momentous magnitude

she was pantherine

she was a lioness lithely lissome

she morphed into a million images and musings in my mind

she could have torn me apart with those teeth of hers

by the way extra emphasis on apart

her face and physique were the most pleasurable portrait I ever put within my frame of mind

A profile of perfection that I paid for looking at with pained lustful love

It drove me to madness

It caused an overwhelming sadness

All I wanted was to confess to her I love you, you're the most beautiful being in existence

One of the simplest statements but most powerful when truly meant

I wanted to tell her so many other things as well

I wanted to tell her what makes me, me

I wanted to tell her what I visualize creating

I wanted to tell her all my secret feelings

Really to be honest everything and anything

She made me feel the most alive

the most energized

She was the catalyst that led me to know what I was and worth

She made me want to be more

Looking at her made me see the ragged ruins of the life I'd lived

I realized I wasn't what I wanted or needed to be and this destroyed me

I conjured a fire hotter than hell's to reforge myself

I've arisen from the assiduous ashes a pristinely plumed phoenix

A monumental metamorphous

I wasn't sure I could handle her then

I guess I wasn't ready, I was unprepared though how can one prepare for falling in love

perhaps some otherworldly entity wanted to prevent us from uniting

after all hell hates true human happiness or should I be saying true love

I felt she was my other half and could make me whole

Thinking of the mergence makes my size multiply by more than a million

God...she turned me on too much

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