Summer '09

18 year old May Jones was on ordinary girl with loving parents, a brother, a dog and a boyfriend, Niall Horan. When Niall suddenly leaves to the X Factor without telling May, everything spirals out of control. Niall has a new life and so does May but her heart is still broken. Her family are torn apart and she is left alone. 3 years later they cross paths and everything changes again.


38. Killed Me Inside

May's POV

I sat in my bedroom, well really, Niall's guestroom, and groaned as I flopped down so I was staring at the ceiling.

After Josh had left, I hadn't seen Niall since, nor heard from him. When I went to find him in his bedroom, he was leaving the flat.

There wasn't any expression on his face, his eyes were overcast and I had no idea what had happened.

But now I realised.

Ugh, why was I so stupid?

Niall had heard me say that I 'thought' that I was over him but evidently I wasn't. Now I guess he didn't want to be in close perimeter of me which included his flat.

Why did I have to say that? Why couldn't I just explain to Josh about the secret and break up with him nicely, not making it painful for Niall as well?

Sighing, I rolled off the bed and tried to find any of my own stuff. Now, I was wearing all Niall, well except my underwear but apart from that, I was wearing his trackies and his V-neck grey top.

Finding my dress I had been wearing at the club crumpled up, I changed reluctantly, not wanting to get out of Niall's soft and warm clothes.

Not only did I look like I was hung-over, I looked like a hung-over slut who was coming out of some guy's flat after a night of well, you know what I mean.

Trying to look a bit more presentable, I sighed and slipped on my heels. I folded Niall's clothes and placed them on the bed before grabbing my phone and slipping out of the flat.

I didn't bother leaving a note, it wasn't like I had left him forever although I guess now I had broken up with Josh, there was no reason to see the boys or Niall again.

Obviously, Niall didn't like the fact that I still liked him and I wasn't going to go after him.

Maybe that's why he left? Because he had enough of me but didn't know how to break up with me, she he just left?

Shaking my head, I walked out the block of flats and proceeded the way back to my own flat. I hadn't spoken to the girls and I felt kinda bad seeing as they didn't know anything and were basically my closest friends apart from the boys.

Walking home, it was then when I remembered Niall saying Zayn that he still loved me.

Why was he so confusing?

He just left me, supposedly confused and not liking the fact that I still loved him when he also loved me.

What did this all mean? Did he love me like I loved him?

It was paining me so much. I shouldn't love him. He left me alone and vulnerable with nothing and yet my feelings hadn't vanished in the slightest.

I wish they had, I wish I could've moved on easily and swiftly without having to suffer the consequences of heartbreak but it seemed as if Niall had some sort of spell on me.

For that I hated him.

If I didn't hate him for leaving me then I definitely hated him for casting this spell on me.

Was this how the rest of my life would be?

Constantly wishing that Niall loved me back when I knew he wouldn't, no matter what he said. I would never get over him and it killed me.

Stalking into the flat, I noticed it was completely empty and I sighed. I couldn't exactly ring the girls and demand them to come back here and mourn with me.

They had lives too and even if mine was seriously fucked up, I couldn't drag them down with me.

I collapsed down onto my bed, kicking those dreaded high heels off and just staring up at the ceiling. It was only until now when I realised how tired I was and I felt like just crying to sleep but I knew that I couldn't sleep in this dreaded dress.

Groaning, I sat back up again and unzipped the dress, sliding it off of me and grabbing my pyjamas which were neatly folded by the side.

As I got dressed and snuggled under the covers, I thought, maybe this all happened for a reason. Maybe Niall and I were just not meant to be at all.

And to be honest, that killed me inside.


Slightly shorter chapter but more exciting stuff shall be happening in the next chapters! Coming up to the end but NOT too soon! We still of course haven't found out while Niall left her ;)

Hope you liked it and update shall be coming shortly :D

Please fave, like and comment!

Love you all,

P&M x


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