In my heart. (Short Story)

The accident changed it all....


1. Our love's infinite.

Hey guys :) I just wrote this story for a magazine contest so I just thought on sharing it with you all. I would love to have a feedback. :)

-Duaa x


August sun was shining cheerfully into a cozy little bedroom furnished with white. It sparkled on the glossy hair and bright eyes of a woman in her early thirties, who lied still and silent on the bed and yet seemed beautiful and highly graceful. Her blond hair the neatly braided and a little blusher applied that made her look even pinker.    

A man sat besides her who held her hand softly. He was a fair complexioned man, with brown wavy hair, curling naturally at the ends. He was lost in thought, seemed a little tired. He thought to himself everything has its end, but memories last forever. He felt helpless, he felt like a small child who would insist, even beg, cry and at times become stubborn to get his favorite toy and his parents would do anything thing to get it, but there was no one who could get him his most prized possession except God. Even the light of hope was getting dimmer in his heart by now, and how hard he tried to stay composed, tears pricked his eyes. He tried to shake free of those memories, but just couldn’t let it go.

Brandon Lewis had everything a man could want, good looks, and a profitable business, his dream home on a hill, loyal friends, and two beautiful little daughters. In full pursuit of good life, he still missed something, regretted something and wanted something.

Nine years ago, he had fallen in love with a young passionate woman, Scarlett Gibson, and enjoyed a harmonious relationship with her in the years they had been married. But adverse fate had conspired to ruin that all, and now he spent hours wondering how would have been things if the accident never happened.

Six years back from now, there was a little argument between him and Scarlett, as she wanted to work for an organization that Brandon disapproved of. She had to go there for an interview that day and unfortunately her car was at the workshop for service, so she asked him to drop her off on his way to work. They dropped their two years old twin daughters at the day care and then he drove to drop Scarlett. She turned her face away from him, leaned her head back and closed her eyes, refusing to talk to him, depressed at the way he was treating her out. To get her attention, Brandon drove rationally and fast, she asked him repeatedly to slow down but he acted indifferent and said no word.

Ahead was a signal that showed green light, the car was a little away from it, he raced the car to cross the signal. Suddenly it turned red, but Brandon didn’t slow down thinking that he would be able to cross it. Just then a truck was heading towards his car from the other side. He tried hard to get control of the speed but it was too late. Scarlett didn’t even get time to scream and the truck hit the car.

Brandon doesn’t remember anything after that, when he restored his consciousness, he was taken to the ICU to see his wife. And, since then, she has never been the same, breathing, but not living, her tantalizing almond eyes unable to see the beauty around her, her hands can’t feel the sense of touch. It would not be wrong to call her a living dead body. 

This regret eats up a part of his heart each day, every minute. It has been so long she has been in this stage and he blames himself for all that happened to her six years back. The thought that Scarlett would live or die was hanging over his mind and several times he tried to make himself understand that everyone handled grief in different ways, and as time passed, they all seemed to accept their new lives, but he always ended up with a battle between his mind and heart. He felt as if he was stuck in the moment and wanted another chance, he wanted to live all over again, he wanted to bring back everything in place once again, he wished he could erase this part of life, he wished all this never happened. 

Sometimes he would look at the photographs; both of them had assembled with great care. Scarlett loved clicking pictures and capturing all the beautiful moments she had spend with him so that she could look back in time and feel the happiness. Sadly enough, she didn’t get much time to collect a lot of memories nor look back at them. And when Brandon stared at her chubby face, straight hair, her million dollars smile, and her innocence, his throat would tighten. She was the closest thing to an angel that he had ever met. To escape that sadness that always overwhelmed him in such moments, he would close the photo album and put it aside. Then he would go to play with his daughters, help them in doing school’s work and would even braid their hair to distract him from the memories that haunted him in loneliness. 

One day he sat on a rocking chair outside his house, and stared at the setting sun. He marveled at the beautiful red, orange and deep violet colors that showed in the sky. He found beauty, pleasure and peace in it. He looked at the river flowing from beneath the hill; he observed how the wind caused longitudinal vibrations and creating waves giving him the feel of life. He felt his spirits going high again, he felt alive. Brandon felt, for so many years had been living just because death wasn’t coming to him, but he made no special efforts give time to himself for recreation. It was business work, house chores, dropping kids to school, and then dropping them to the swimming classes, then reading to them, then singing to them until they slept. And even in such a busy routine he took out time to go sit in the nursing house for at least two hours daily.

Distracting himself from the thoughts, he focused on to listening the chirping and twittering of the birds that were returning back to the trees, he pondered how the birds knew that after the dark night comes the golden morning and they would get another day, another chance to collect food for themselves and their young ones and would survive. He began thinking that nothing lasts forever be it good days, or a tragedy. He realized he had been through so much of suffering and God couldn’t be unfair to him, there must have been something better planned for him. He felt so close to a start of something new. He wanted to accept the truth of his life and wanted to learn to live with it. 

Just then he picked up his cell phone, phoned at the nursing home thanking them for their services to Scarlett and also for giving her room an environment that was very familiar to her own bedroom. He had decided to let her wife die in peace, knowing that he couldn’t hold on to her forever, giving her body more pain. He went on and said that he wanted the mechanical ventilator and other equipments to be removed. His heart was burdened as if he was taking away his own breath, but he overlooked that feeling. 

The next morning he woke up he took the girls to the nursing home to last see their mother, who sat there silently considering their mother was sleeping. Each of them kissed her and waited for her to respond, but was disappointed. Brandon instructed the girls to play in the garden and that he would come to join them in a while. The girls did as they were asked to do. Then he held Scarlett’s hand, gently kissed it, and had nothing to say to her, tears rolled down his cheeks. He got up and instructed the staff to remove the ventilator.

Today, Scarlett is no part of this world, but for him, she is always with him, in his memories. He still loves her dearly for all what she was. Brandon tried to overcome his regret by making sure he fulfilled all her wishes but some part of it still corrodes his heart at times. She wanted to built and orphanage, so he invested a large amount in building and then maintaining the orphanage. He gives some time to the orphanage personally too, by counseling the kids there, talking to them. And he sees his girls growing mature and beautiful just like Scarlett was.

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