Dear Ava

Alice is a complicated eighth grader. She hasn't ever had a good grasp on her life. She has always had trouble understanding the little things that come easy to others. Luckily, after years of being friendless she meeet some people who have changed her life. Before them it was only Ava. But Ava disappeared at the beginning of sixth grade. Alice is having trouble forgetting her even though she has other friends. This book follows Alice's life in eigth grade at its ups and lows. Read as she discovers new things about herself, prepares herself for the future, and tries to uncover after these years what happened to Ava.


2. September 3rd

Dear Ava, 

I've decided I'll keep writing, even though I'm not sure how to get them to you yet. I wish you would come home. 

Whoever says eighth grade is "one of the best years" has played a cruel, cruel trick on you. I've only been here for a week and it can already set the tone for the whole year. 

The only friend I have in any of my classes is Aaron in my gym class. And the worst part is the gym teachers still split us up most of the time because we are different genders. I won't lie, in a way I think he was relieved. Probably that he doesn't have to spend time with me in front of everyone. He's so confusing because first all of in the summer, if we saw anyone we knew in school that would be evil to me, he would stand up for me, now he's either not there or just let's it happen. That's very annoying. 

My English class is my FAVORITE class. If you couldn't tell the difference that was sarcasm not excitement. First of all it was the hardest subject for me to grasp, and now there is a group of total jerks that make the class go by so slow. All they ever do is laugh about inside jokes or if we're reading out loud they will giggle if you stutter or mess up. It's the worst for me. I am a very good reader if its in my head, but if its out loud I goof up constantly. My brain usually can't sound out words. Also if I jumble up the sentence like this my teacher gets mad.
1. The boy walked to the store and picked up some apples for his family.
Then I usually something like this:
2. The boy walked to the store for his family to pick up some apples.
There is no difference in how the sentence is interpreted, but my teacher gets mad and tells you to reread it while everyone snickers in your face. Of course that doesn't help because my face usually gets so red that if I try to read the sentence again I will mess up. Then the teacher usually gives you a nasty glance then calls on another person to read. Also what I mean by the stupid inside jokes is if one person mocks the teacher when she's not looking, they will laugh about it probably the rest of their life.  Also they sometimes ask me if I'm depressed just because I do know how to shut my trap when I need to.

Anyway, science and math are the quietest classes ever. No one talks. You could hear a pin drop. No one ever participates so the teachers get angry. Social studies is probably my favorite class. People are actually kind of funny in that class. Also it's the easiest to understand for me. It's just like a memory game. Memorize the chapter and you'll do good on the test my teacher said. That's not good teaching at all, but as long as I can clarify what I'm reading ill probably be fine.

Lunch is terrible to just sit in silence with a bunch of weird popular kids. There is NO ONE quiet in the period. It's only been a week yet I'm sick of hearing the gossip of who's dating, who's not or who's pretty, who's not. I'm pretty sure I was put on the ugly list. The head of them of, Jessie, passed their "official" ugly clipboard around the other day. I know how juvenile. That's how my school is and most kids worship these populars for it. After they all read it they glanced at me one by one and looked at Jessie. Then they all had a laughing fit so I stormed off to the bathroom because if I can even eat without being made fun of eating isn't worth it. I can eat after school. 

In between the first week of school we had a weekend because school started on a Wednesday. It was really fun. Carter, Aaron, Josh, and I went to the mall. We discussed our first couple days of school. Josh took a turn telling us about his wonderful honors classes. Carter wouldn't stop smiling and giggling during his stories so it was hard to focus on them. Aaron and Carter are in most classes together except like two so they each took turns explaining events that occurred during them. Every story I chuckled and grinned. When I told a couple of stories about my horrible days, everyone was silent. I just stuck some Chinese fast food in my mouth before I could say anything else to ruin the day more. After a couple moments of silence Carter spoke up and told Aaron and Josh we were going to try on dresses. They could either come with us or go shopfor something else. They choose flat out to do something else. I didn't want to cram myself into one of those things people our age calls dresses, but Carter likes to so I being a good friend do too. On the way to our favorite dress store Carter asked me about gym with Aaron. Like if he hung out with me. I frowned a little and replied not really. She looks at me with a confused, sympathetic face. Carter told me Aaron's just probably not sure what to do because many popular kids are friends with him and if they saw him with me or Josh they'd freak. I know it sounds like something offensive, but me and Carter's relationship is basically based on trust and loyalty.

We arrived at the dress place shortly after. Remember when I was little and I hated girly stuff? Yeah, I'm still a tomboy. I picked a ruby red dress that was spaghetti strapped and had a ruffle over the chest. I glimpsed the price tag and quickly took it off before I ripped it or something. 

We then met up with the boys and got a ride from Josh's mom to the park by the pond and forest. We all strolled along a pathway through the forest. It really calmed my head so it was very enjoyable. I did this silence thing many times so my friends did jot worry. 

After awhile of walking I felt something hit me in the back. I turned around and saw my three friends looking a a tree. Strange, right?Then I decided to keep walking. Then I got hit in the back again and before it could fall off I grabbed whatever struck me. It was a stick. Embarrassed, I turned around a saw my friends running away and giggling. I chuckled and sprinted full speed. Then I flung the stick at Aaron because he is the most likely to do that. It hit him right in eye and he tripped. We all crowded around his body and I placed my hand on his eyelid. It was getting kinda puffy.   I apologized and he lifted his head up right into mine and out lips accidentally met. After about two seconds we realized what was happening and we both scrambled away from each other. We were blushing a looked at the ground while Carter and Josh awkwardly knelt there. 

After a few minutes we split up and went home. For a couple of days now Aaron and I have been avoiding each other just from awkwardness and not knowing what to say. That was my first kiss. I think the reason I am avoiding Aaron most of all is because I don't really know what to make of it. Like if i enjoyed it or what I felt. Emotions don't come easily to me. Sometimes when Im really sad I just think every moment in my life makes it a sad story so I don't even bother to realize when I'm happy. Then before I know it, that special moment can never come back. Ive almost cone ti the conclusion I don't have emotions, just the ones I trick myself into believing I have. When i figure out how to feel about this all I'll talk to him. I just hope that happens soon.

 I'll write soon.

Love forever and always,

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