"You're mine," he growled into my ear. "Not Niall's, not Zayn's, not Louis', and especially not Harry's. You're mine, and I will do what it takes to make you mine."

"Are you sure you're not out of time?" I looked at him over the rim of my glass filled with beer.

"I might be out of time, but I can fuck you better than any of them."

"Alright," I placed my glass down. "Then prove it."


32. the daring and the lost

I'm sorry for emotions you are about to experience reading this chapter. I'm experimenting with a certain couple, explanation will continue at end. P.s. there's also a lot of POV switching.

This has been the hardest chapter for me to write, and I cry as I write this. I can't believe my imagination has taken me this far..

I'm sorry. 


'And if I have faithful eyes then, Please let me see, Oh must I fall to pieces? Here at your feet.' ~The Art Of Sleeping

I woke up early, hearing some people outside the tent. I sat up on the bed and noticed it empty. 

Well just her things have disappeared. Mine still lay around in suitcases and duffel bags. Nothing of hers was visible, but has vanished. I've been alone but this was different, there was nothing left of her. 

I pulled a tee shirt on and zipped my jeans. I placed a snapback over my head and stepped into my shoes. As I headed towards the tent door, I rubbed my fingers together, her touch still lingering on my fingertips. 

Her skin, her hair, her smell was surrounding me and I couldn't get away. Normally I would go for the drugs or razor but I wanted neither. I just want to go home. 

I want to vanish like she did.

~~Boston's POV~~

I was on the plane to England before the sun even rose. I entered my dad's place before he even got up from his bed. I want to go home, I need to go home. I need to get away from this place, and I knew it was stupid for me to return. 

I packed the rest of my belongings and called a taxi. I left a note for my dad and then headed towards Heathrow. I was ready to go home. 

~~Liam's POV~~

Louis and I entered our flat. It would be silent but Louis was talking to Harry over the phone. I still didn't really understand what was going on but I listened to Bo and decided to forgive Harry as well. 

"Harry's coming over."

I nodded as I pulled my luggage into my bedroom.

"Boston went home didn't she?" 

"Yes," I muttered.

"Well I don't think she'll be getting out of the country very soon. It's lightening," I looked at him as he pointed out towards the balcony. 

The rain was coming down fast, but knowing Boston she was already halfway across the Atlantic. 

~~Boston's POV~~

"All flights to New York have been canceled," said the English woman over the intercom. 

I exhaled as I let my head fall back. Of course this would happen. 

I walked towards a desk to get a new ticket.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," said the lady as I handed her my ticket. "Can the airline pay for a taxi and hotel room? I will be able to get you another ticket for tomorrow morning."

I nodded, "Yes," I thought about Dad. He'll think I'm home, and I don't want to explain. "Just a taxi please, I have a place."

"Very well, here's your ticket for tomorrow morning and I hope you have lovely night."

"Thanks." I took my ticket and headed for the exit as I waited for my taxi. Eventually the black taxi appeared in front of me.

"Where to, Miss?"

"I need to go the residence of Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne."

He laughed, "I'm sorry, Miss, but I'm not allowed to go to celebrity homes."

I leaned forward and looked at him. "I'm the fucking daughter of the Prime Minister, do you think I fucking care? Drive." 

He didn't say anything else but put the car in drive and headed into the direction of the man I just walked away from. 

~~Liam's POV~~

I was leaning against the glass door to the balcony, as the rain continued to collide down onto Earth. 

I saw a taxi pull into the complex, through the gates. I was expecting Harry.

"Lou, Harry still has his car right?"

"Which one?"


"He should, I don't think management took away his cars. Why?"

I looked towards him, "A taxi just pulled through the gates." 

~~Boston's POV~~

I stepped out of the taxi and let the rain soak into me.

"Miss Cameron, I'm very sorry," continued the taxi driver. It's the only thing he kept repeating to me. I pulled my luggage out of the taxi and shut the door. He gave me a free ride for 'mistreating me'. Whatever. 

I walked towards the entrance. My blonde hair was soaked, my clothing soaked, everything soaked. I ignored the glares as I went to the elevator. I pressed the button to his floor and slid the card that Liam gave me which granted me access to his floor. 

I could feel my makeup run down my face, but I didn't care. I was good at not caring. 

The elevator stopped and it was like the oxygen had left my lungs. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be close to here. 

What am I doing?

~~Liam's POV~~

There was a knock on the door and Louis looked confused. 

"Harry has a key," he said.

I shrugged and went towards the door. I opened it and my eyes widened. I started at her toes and looked up her wet body and stopped at her water-stricken face. 

"I told you, you'll always come back to me." 

"Shut the fuck up," she said before pushing on me, colliding her lips to mine. I lifted her up and her legs wrapped around my waist. 

"Hi, Boston" I heard Louis say.

"Hi, Louis," she said before placing her lips back on mine. I walked into my bedroom and kicked the door shut, dropping her on the bed. 

She peeled her shirt from her body, dropping it to the floor. I followed her, and she placed her hands on either side of my waist as she placed kisses on my V-line. 

"You need to stop saying goodbye," I said as I ran my fingers through her wet hair. 

"Stop letting me run away," she said as she looked up at me. 

"I didn't know you wanted to be stopped." I bent forward, she lay back on her elbows. 

"Always stop me. Besides my plane was canceled." 

I teased. "Is it raining? I haven't noticed." 

"Stop being a dick," she reached forward and undid the button and zipper on my jeans. 

I growled with a smirk, before I stopped her hand. "You ran away, you need to be punished. I'm in control." 

She concentrated on me. "Um." 

"Oh you didn't have a choice." 

The thunder outside was loud as I slowly stripped her of her clothing. Soon she was completely naked below me. I devoured her with my mouth. I was daring, making her gasp with every suck, bite, and touch. 

She was caught up in her own pleasure, and I didn't give her a warning as I entered her. 

Her fists tightened around the duvet and I lowered myself closer to her. She quickly found my hair as her fingers became tight and my lips found her neck. 

I slammed harder and faster inside of her as her legs went around me, her heels digging into my lower back by my spine. 

I watched her with fascination. She melts under me, breathing deep as I exit and enter. 

Becoming her intrusion. 

Daring to become her forever intruder. 

~~Louis' POV~~

I heard Boston's moans through Liam's door, but I was good at ignoring. I've heard the levels Liam put her through when he fucked her. 

I was flipping through a magazine when I heard the knock on the door. I got up and opened the wood, and saw Harry. His hair was disheveled, he was obviously running his fingers through his hair for hours. That's what he does when he's thinking. 

"What happened to your key? What's going on Harry?" I asked him as he didn't look at me.

He looked up from the ground slowly, biting his bottom lip. His arm was leaning against the doorjamb. He removed his arm and pushed forward.

Taking me with him. 

I was pushed hard against the wall. Harry's fists wrapped in my shirt. 

"Harry--," I started, confused. 

"Don't tell me you don't feel it too." 

"What? Feel what?" I ask him, looking down at him.

Without realizing what was happening, Harry reached forward and soon his soft skin was against my lips. What was going on….

"Oh," I muttered as he quickly pushed away from me. I ran my fingers along my bottom lip. 

"I've wanted to do that for years," he said. "I know we can't, it's not allowed but I needed to know what you tasted like." 

I still leaned against the wall in shock. 

"Boston here?" He continued, past my amazement. 

"What? Yea," I was becoming distracted with everything. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you tell me this now. I never knew you felt that way for me." 

"I was scared, and it destroyed me from the inside out, keeping that secret from you." 

"I wished you told me a long time ago," I pushed myself away from the wall and towards the counter space. I wanted to recreate the distance between us. 

"I didn't think--Louis are you mad at me?" He followed me, leaning against the counter on the opposite side.

"I'm disappointed. You've told me all this too late."

"What?" His eyes widened, his pretty emerald eyes.

"You're too late, Harry. I've waited years for you to do what you just did and frankly I've given up. I'm not going to push myself into something or someone that isn't willing to participate fifty-fifty." 


"I said you're too late! Go away Harry!"

"You don't mean any of this."

"Yes, I do. Don't let me expose you. I'm sure your fans will love to know you finally came out." 

"Stop--stop it! Louis this is bullshit!" 

"Yes, Harry you're right. This is in fact complete bullshit. I need some air." I reached for my car keys and left the flat before Harry could make me stay.

~~Liam's POV~~

"What the fuck is going on out here?!" I shouted as I pulled on my boxers and opened the door. 

Boston was slowly falling asleep on her stomach as the duvet just barely covered her bum. Her back, the way her spine shapes her was intoxicating. I wanted to run my tongue all the way--.

"I did something stupid," said Harry as I closed my bedroom door. 

"What did you do? Where's Louis?"

"I think I've upset him," he said. 

"What did you do?" I went back to my original question.

"I've kind of…kissed him," Harry looked away from me as I exhaled loudly. 

"I know your intentions Harry, but maybe it wasn't the best time--."

"I know!" He shouted. 

"Liam?" Boston asked through the door. 

"Quiet the fuck down," I said to him. "We'll fix this okay. Just give him some time." 

"Liam?" Boston asked for me again. She didn't sound like she was sleeping, so I nodded once more to Harry before opening the door and saw my bed empty. 

"Bo?" I questioned. 

I searched the room and saw the balcony doors opened. She was there. Wearing just her panties and my tee shirt. 

"Bo whats wrong?" 

She turned around, her face was remarkably pale. "You need to call an ambulance."

My eyes widened, "What? Why?" 

"Louis," was the only word she said before our entire world crashed down around us. 

Not Bo's and I's world, but the world of One Direction. 

~~Louis' POV~~

I place my keys in the ignition of a rented car from management. Eric wasn't back yet, but he would be soon. 

I wiped the tears running down my face with my forearm. 

How could he do this to me? Me? His friend from the start. He knows how I feel, he knows that I love him, but he's ran out of time. He does this all the time, waiting until people are ready to forgive and forget, and now he has crashed this entire feeling back onto me. 

I didn't like it. 

I hated him.

I wanted to get away. 

I backed out of the parking space and saw a car behind me going way to fast for a parking lot. I quickly braked, jerking myself forward and then back against the seat.

"Dickhead," I muttered as I continued to back up after the car passed. 

I turned onto the road after passing through the gates. No one could see into my car, that was the pleasure of having a management set car. Tinted windows, almost black.

So no one could see inside.

So no one could see my tears. 

I was going way to fast, but the fastness was like a blanket. Shielding me, covering me. Making me disappear. I was just going to drive around the block, let myself cool down and then face Harry again. 

I just needed to think, I needed to be left alone for a little. 

Harry has been nothing but horrors for me. He haunts my memories and that was why I wanted him to go away, leave me alone. All he has done now is open a closed wound, setting my skin on fire and making me want him even more.

"What am I doing?" I mutter to myself as I come to a stop light. I stopped so sudden from the changing of colors and was out in the intersection a little further than I should be, but thoughts flooded my mind. "It's Harry."

Harry the one who has been my best friend since our time on X Factor. Harry who was sitting on my bed crying because of the things that were being said on the Internet. Harry who I gave his first male kiss to years ago. 


"Harry," I muttered. I need to get back. I need to. 

The light was still red as I watched it. 

Then there was a noise coming from my right. Lights were almost blinding me even through the tinted window. Yes, I was too far out in the intersection. 

I was so close to the flat though. One more turn and I would be there. I know this road, this traffic. No trucks ever make their way back here.

I watched the lights come closer.

"Harry," I said one last time as I was pushed to the side. 

I wish I had placed my seatbelt over my chest, because maybe then I would be exiting the window, crushing the glass with my body. My head hurt from it hitting and breaking the glass. 

What was going on? What was happening? I dropped on something hard. Asphalt? It fucking hurt and I heard my ribs break with the impact, including my arm. 

I rolled over to my back. How was I still able to move. I did, and my head bounced twice against the hard floor. 

I looked up to the perfect bluish grey sky. I could lay here and just watch the birds, the clouds, as I silently fell to asleep. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," the truck driver was screaming, but I wasn't sure why. 

I didn't even know what happened. Everything was a blur to me. 

Then I heard a familiar voice. 

"Liam?" I questioned. 


He slid beside me onto the floor. 

"Ouch," I said knowing his knees would be cut up. 

"Stay still," he told me. 

"Why?" I questioned.

"You've been in a car accident. Don't move."

"Oh," I said as I looked back up to the sky. "I'm sorry," I said to him.

"Don't be sorry," I could hear his voice cracking. He was beginning to cry. Did the accident really look as bad as it was?

"Where's Harry?" 

"He's coming, he called the ambulance."

"Liam," I started. "If I don't make it--."

"Louis shut up. You'll be fine, okay. We're One Direction, we will always stick together. It's all of us, or none of us." 

"You always amaze me. Always sticking up for everyone. Not even thinking about what would happen when the band does eventually break up. You're a good guy, Liam. Yeah you've been through hell and back but you always worry about others before yourself."

"Lou--," he started but Harry's voice filled the air. 

"Ambulance is coming," he said as he sat beside me, opposite from Liam. "How are you doing?"

"F--," I begun but a sharp pain went through me and I gasped. "Fine," I finished after the pain left, but still idled. 

Everything was becoming blurry, my vision, my hands and toes became numb. 

"I'm sorry," I repeated. 

"Stop saying that," said Liam. "Lou you'll be fine." 

I ignored him and continued. "Don't let the band break up. Stay together after I leave."

"Lou?" Harry was close to tears. "Stop this, you are going to be fine." 

Sirens filled the sky and soon the paramedics rushed around me. Liam and Harry were pushed away as a neck brace was placed around me. I was lifted slowly onto a stretcher, my body hurting with the movement. 

I was being taken to the back of the ambulance. 

"I come with," said Harry. He didn't wait for their answer as he stepped into the ambulance. 

I saw Liam watching and Boston was walking towards him. 

My heart ached for them. They were so young and thought that the world couldn't handle them together. They were wrong. Liam needs Boston, and Boston needs Liam. 

It will always be like that. 

Another sharp pain went through my side. "Fuck," I almost yelled. I could feel my heart speeding up, my body becoming more and more numb. 

"Louis calm down," said the paramedic. "Calm down!" She was almost screaming as the beeping and noises grew louder and louder. "I need help back here!" 

I was still laying there, watching Harry as the ambulance didn't even move. The back door opened and another paramedic entered. 

"He's going into shock," said the first paramedic. "Breathe Louis!"

I wasn't breathing? What? 

"Louis, come on mate, breathe," it was Harry. His hand found mine. He seemed so calm, the only reasonable one in the ambulance. I was breathing, I was calm. 

"Harry?" I looked up at him, but I was stopped when a crushing force hit my chest. They were pushing oxygen in my lungs, they were forcing my heart to start beating again. 

I didn't understand. I was fine. Everything felt fine. I was okay. 

It was beginning to scare me. Why was I the only one being calm. Fear was starting to grip my soul. Could I really be living and breathing in vain? But I wasn't. I was more worried about Harry, Liam, Boston. What would Zayn or Niall say after they see me. 

Will they see me again and not laying out during a funeral procession? Would I live?

These thoughts surrounded and swirled inside my mind. 

Could this really be happening? Was it happening? 

My vision became blurry and was turning into a crisp light. Soon that crisp light took over my entire eyes, seeing nothing but brightness. 

I felt the warmth, like a summer day. Yes, I wanted to go here. 


He'll live and become a better person. I hope so. He's everything and I hope he can find someone who will treat him like I never could. 

I began to smile, knowing that the world was suffocating around me. Vanishing. I was going somewhere that the sky was bright and the air was warm to the touch. 




~~Harry's POV~~

"He's--He's gone," said the female paramedic. 

"What?!" I was screaming. "You're close to doctors, help him!" 

"We can't," said the male paramedic. "He went into shock, he wasn't getting oxygen. He's been gone for minutes now." 

Tears were streaming down my face, but they turned quickly to anger. "Don't let me go, Louis, please."

I took one last glance at Louis, looking up to the ceiling, anywhere trying to calm down but it was impossible. My teeth were clenched as I opened the back door and shut it. 

"Harry?" Liam said my name. 

I faced the back of the ambulance and in one soft motion I hit as hard I could into the aluminum door. 

"No," I heard Boston say. 

I turned around, knowing my eyes were probably red and irritated. "He's…gone," I muttered. "He can't do this to me! Not after what just happened! He can't leave me! He can't do this to me!" 

I was screaming. Liam came forward and quickly placed his arms around me. 

"It's okay," he whispered. "Everything will be okay."

I pushed away from him. "How could you say something like that? I loved him. Just go fuck your girlfriend or something."

I walked away. I know I shouldn't have said that, but I couldn't help it. 

I wanted to disappear as fast as Louis did.

~~Boston's POV~~

"Liam, don't," I said to him. I saw his anger flaring inside him. Harry didn't know what he was saying, and I understood but I didn't need Liam going after him. 

He turned around. I walked quickly towards him and wrapped him in a hug, his arms tightening around my waist. 

"They'll be here soon," he said. "The rest of the band, management. Everything's over."

"No it won't. Louis wouldn't want that." 

"I know but it scares me to go on without him." 

"I know, it scares everyone," I said as I smoothed my hand over his head. 

We stood there for a long time. Letting the emotions wash over us. 

We were all so lost. Waiting for someone to tell us where to go. What to do. 

Even when Zayn and Niall showed up and they took their turns going into the ambulance to say goodbye, we were unsure of what to do. 

The streets were shut down. Simon showed up, Harry never came back and Liam explained what happened. I looked over at Niall as he sat on the curb by himself. His head in his hands, his legs were unsteady as he moved like a child. 

"Zayn," said Simon. "Go."

Zayn nodded and walked over to Niall and sat beside him. Zayn opened his arms for Niall and he gladly accepted the comfort. 

~~Harry's POV~~

I got into my car and drove home. It was getting harder to breathe, everything blinding me. The sirens the lights, everything. 

I opened the glovebox to get a tissue when I saw the picture of us, the band. The photograph was old and crinkled, going back to X Factor. Louis standing next to me.

Anger flushed through me. "Er!" I yelled as I slammed the box closed. 

Maybe we were never meant to be together. 

No, I needed to keep looking forward. Keeping my eyes open, and arms. Waiting. 

"Don't let me go," I whispered. 

I'm so tired, so tired of feeling and sleeping alone. 

I needed to get away from here, I was tired of looking from afar, trying to make everyone--him--understand. 

I pulled over and reached for a piece of paper. He needs to know how I felt. I would write it down, hopefully he sees me writing it wherever he is. 

At the top I wrote, 'Don't let me go' and skipped a few lines. My tears stained the paper in droplets.

I continued to write.

At the end, I finished the small letter finishing it with my thought of sleeping alone. 

Then, 'Goodbye Louis, I love you. x' 

I hated this. I hated every part of this. I stuffed the letter in the side pocket of my car. Maybe one day I'll come back to it, but for right now it needed to be buried with the thought of Louis. 


That's a terrible word. I hated it. 

I was beginning to hate everything. 

I was beginning to hate myself. 


Okay, you have the right to hate me. I hate myself right now. I feel like my imagination betrayed me. It took me three days to write this chapter and every time I got back to it I would read what I wrote the day before and I cried. I can't believe I wrote this. 


I'm sorry. x

P.s. I saw those five crazy motherfuckers last night! I can't believe I saw the Take Me Home tour! And Louis is perfectly fine and quite perky haha! I posted some pictures on my twitter! @_californiall_

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