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Life's a game, he played it, he got it so wrong. Now it's up too her too clean it up.

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5. Day by day

I have that nightmare everynight, and the worst thing is, the ending never changes...it replys and repeats as if my mind is a broken record. It gets to the point where i dread going too sleep, sitting in my dirty clothes at the foot of a trewe, or in a bush, trying to force myself to forget, and too stay awake. I almost allways fail. I was so weak.

Day by day i start to become a bit better....i figure out what i can eat and i find that the forest isnt actually as scary as it may seem. Once i had walked further into the trees i reached a clearing, it was brighter and a stream ran by. It was almost too good too be true.I even managed to get a fire going, reflecting the sun off my phone screen onto some wood. I still had the nightmares  though, which scared me just as much as the first time i had them.

I checked my phone today, read through all the messages, i felt a stab of regret, mum was so upset, i could tell even by the texts- i also listened too some voice mails, i felt my head get hot and tears flowed down my cheeks and i missed home, mum, and J and davie- my baby brother. I closed my eyes and layed down by the fire in the clearing, listening too the slow crackle of the flames  and as i feel asleep i imagined my first date with J, at the fair in newbury, eating candy floss and going on the big wheel and how he didnt let go of my hand the whole day. i fell too sleep almost imediatly.               

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