Help Me.


1. Help Me.

My mind is just as constricting as glass, 
Shattering into fragments if I push too hard, 
Threatening to cut through me with thoughts
That could honestly kill everything about me. 

I want to recede into those darkest thoughts
That swarm my mind like wasps and hornets, 
Stinging at my conscience, swelling my head
As they fly in circles like sick little birds. 

I cast ideas out to the world through technology, 
Wishing that someone would notice my pleas, 
But I get congratulated and rewarded daily 
for the ghosts of my mind showing to them. 

I sleep alone in the deepest darkest depths 
Of non-clinical insanity, wishing that somehow,
Somewhere, someone will notice my pleas
With a desperation that I've never had before. 

Despite struggling in front of so many, 
I've been ignored, applauded and encouraged. 
Suddenly hating the person I'm becoming
Doesn't really seem all that bad. 

I'll write and I'll rant to people I don't know,
Publishing secrets online as miraculous ideas, 
And I'll sit here, sighing and hoping to myself
That I will get better, that my mind will improve. 

None of you know the thoughts I face
Day in, day out, it's exactly the same. 
Thinking I'm worthless to everyone around me, 
I'm a terrible person, a monster, a horrible friend. 

One day you'll find me, tortured, ugly and grey. 
I'll be lying on the ground, a plea for help
Stuck somewhere around me; it's a silent
cry of 'Help Me' lodged in my still throat. 

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