Every Night I Cry and Die a Little More Inside


7. June 22, 2013

Damn it.  I keep giving and giving and I'm not getting anything back.


Today, I found out that you're not the type of person who takes apologies. I also found out that you took me for granted, that you care but only to a certain extent and you stopped caring at some point and that hurts so fucking much. I got used to you always being there, always "caring" and now this. Its all too much and I can't take it anymore. 


Someone told me that I should confront you about it, why you were lying and that if it doesn't work out then you don't really care about me and that I should just stop giving and let go. Thing is, if I found out that you no longer care or that you never cared, that would hurt me so much. You always showed me that you care and you were always there for me and if I find out that all of that was a lie then I don't even know anymore. I thought you were my friend, apparently not. She told me "the truth hurts", well if the truth will hurt this much then I'd rather be lied to. I can't take knowing that the person who "cared" about me the most was just lying. It's all too much. Maybe, just maybe, we should've never been friends. 


I'm so tired of everyone leaving me. By now, you would've thought that I learnt my lesson, I guess you're wrong, because I haven't. Everyone leaves. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not, every single time someone leaves it hurts me so much. 


This time, isn't any different, except that this time, it hurts even more. I thought you cared, I really did.

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