Grief

Hi I'm Grief. Or no actually my name is Grief 12548 but I don't like numbers. I'm an emotion and if you think persons can't be emotions well I'm not a person. I'm a ghost a soul, some people may even call me an angel but that's not what I am. I'm Grief nothing more nothing less I can't even call myself a feeling, I probably am for humans but for myself I'm just... nothing. I'm a part of a tribe the Griefs our natural enemies are Love together we form the strongest feelings there are and that's why we fight but it's not just fighting it's war and I've just become their wartoy ...

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3. And so we meet again

A/N~ I changed the time now it’s past tense sorry if it’s confusing

"So today where going to take a daytrip to earth.", my teacher told us like it was the coolest thing ever. Which it wasn't because most of us including me had been there like a million times. Well at least I didn't have to go, since I was still grounded for the Louis-drama.

"Oh yes and 123548 I asked Miss Grief and she said you could come along as long as you didn't teleport to your protégé's head."

Damnit, I said that out loud didn’t I. That’s really a bad habit! Especially when a certain somebody likes to torture you by making you do the things you hate the most.

"Yay!", I tried to sound enthusiastic but it came out more sarcastic then enthusiastic. Hey that rhymed! Genious.

"I am glad to see that you're so enthusiastic about this trip." she gave me a sheepish smile but her voice drooped in sarcasm. Oh well, at least I didn't have to work so maybe I could slip away and go window-shopping. They wouldn’t even notice I’m gone, as long as I didn’t meet Louis and since he’s a famous pop star that won’t happen anyway.

*******

 

"So now I will show you how to make someone cry.", miss 230 told the group with so much enthusiasm that it made me sick. She has an annoying habit of making me sick.

All the eyes were fixated on miss 230 as she made her way to a random person looking at the window of a shop. This is my chance, I slowly began walking away from the group of ghosts, I say walking because since I can't teleport I had to come with my real body. Yeah I know right like I'm even going to try to teleport after my last punishment. I had to clean the fudging toilets with a toothbrush, I know not very original but very effective at least in my opinion. No little escapes for me anymore.

I looked at some windows and saw a beautiful dress, it was absolutely gorgeous but when I looked at the price tag I was violently awoken from my dream, 6000 pounds. I don’t really know how much that is but 6000 are a lot of zeros. That’s always the thing I found so strange about the earth: the money. How can little pieces of paper have so much worth it’s just not logical.

"I am sorry but do I know you from somewhere?", an all too familiar voice shook me out of my thinking.

No it can’t be him he shouldn’t be here! Holy crab cakes what am I going to do now?

Maybe turn around you dumbass

Oh yeah good idea, thanks rude brain voice.

 I slowly turned around to come face to face with some grey blue eyes to match the familiar voice, Louis. Shit it is him now I really started hyperventilating. He looked at me with frowned eyebrows waiting for an answer.

Think, Grief, think!

"Oh mi gosh, you're Louis Tomlinson!", I squealed like a fangirl, "Can I... Ha-have... an auto-tograph, pretty please with a cherry on the top!"

He smirked at my reaction, which meant he believed my fangirl-act and… he was a very sassy pop star. I let out a big sigh in relief for the first one not the last one… obviously.

"What was that for?", Louis asks while signing my hand.

I fake-smiled as wide as I could "What was what for?", I asked back, on the high-pitch voice.

"The sigh" Holy lamacorns this guy really observes everything, doesn't he?

"Yeah I do. Now why did you sigh?", I could see a change in his colours his usual happy yellow showed traces of light brown now, which meant he was confused or suspicious they're both brown but one of them is slightly lighter so I can never keep them apart. But somewhere I hoped that it was the first one because suspicion isn't an emotion and that makes it harder to deal with. 

"I forgot to breath.", I reply shyly. Waw that came out smooth, he’s even laughing. Yeah I made a human laugh I’m good. At least that’s something I can check off on my bucket list before I fade away tonight. Fading away is like dying but emotions can’t die… for obvious reasons, and the reason I was going to fade was because Miss Grief won’t be able to forgive me for breaking the rules once more, especially not with such a big assignment.

“Hey you seem a bit pale do you want to get Starbucks or something?”, he asked me sweetly. There was a part of me that said that this wasn’t a good idea but then there was also a part of me that said that if I’m going to fade anyway I shouldn’t do it before tasting Starbucks whatever that is. Like always I went for the last option probably giving myself even more trouble.

I nodded and followed him towards a café that had Starbucks written on the front in really big letters. I guess that’s what he meant by Starbucks. Yes sometimes I am surprised by my own dumbness too.

“You do know that you said that out loud didn’t you?”, Louis asks me, obviously amused. I push a blush on my cheeks, like I’m actually embarrassed by that. I’m not embarrassed but I am scared because if I keep on saying what I think he will find out more then he can find out. His grin grows wider when he sees the redness filling my cheeks.

“Oh so me being embarrassed amuses you?”, I remark on a sassy tone while giving him a little poke in his hip. He makes a little jump and his colours swiftly turn a bright blue before going back to their usual colour. Bright blue that makes no sense at all, bright blue means sad. I just poked him what can make him sad about that, he probably remembered something. I looked him in his eyes to find a clue of what was wrong but he quickly turned away from me like he was trying to hide something I might see in his eyes.

“Yes it does.”, he stated while looking over to the counter girl who was very bored and didn’t even try to hide it, “I would like a Frappuccino and a brownie and for you?”, he averted his eyes to mine, finally.

“Same.”, I simply replied while trying to look at all the people in this place at once, most of them had orange-ish colours but there was a man in the corner with a bright blue signature, staring in the open space. I wonder what his story is, I wonder what he’s thinking. That’s always my problem I want to know everyone’s story even when I don’t need to know it. I guess it’s curiosity maybe it’s a bit of pity too, I don’t know.

(Listen to the song on the side now)

“Can you get us a place?”, Louis shook me out of my thoughts for the second time today. I quickly nodded and walked to the table next to the sad man, that was the only table available probably because humans don’t like sad people they tend to avoid it like it’s some kind of germ, like they can get sad from just sitting next to someone who’s sad. Humans tend to be a bit dumb and ignorant too.

“Is this table taken?”, I asked the man, although I knew it wasn’t. He seemed surprised that someone had talked to him but quickly gathered himself again and shook his head, probably not wanting to talk so he wouldn’t reveal his burst voice from trying to hold back his tears. I sat down and thought of a plan to get to know this man’s story.

“What’s wrong?” Yes that was the plan I had to think about for so long, don’t judge I’m new to plans normally I can just teleport to people’s heads to see what they’re thinking.

The man looked up at me with teary eyes and surprise in his signature. I took a good look at him he was about 40 years old but because of all the sorrow in him he looked a lot older, his eyes were grey but I could imagine them being bright sparkly blue before whatever happened to him happened, and his skin was almost see-through so thin and pale. He looked broken and torn but he didn’t look like he was going to tell some stranger why.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me.”, I lied. I didn’t want to cause this man more pain then he already had no matter how much I wanted to know his story.

He nodded like he was having an inner battle “It’s fine, I-I do you really want to know?”, his voice did sound hoarse but it was incredibly clear for his condition, as I know because I’ve probably heard more hoarse voices then I can count . I nodded slowly not wanting to break the tense that had built up.

“I killed my family.”, he blurted out. The tears began spilling from his eyes. I felt an urge to comfort him but experience told me that he didn’t want comforting he just wants someone who listens. So I nudged him to tell the rest of the story.

“We-“, he took a deep breath, “We were driving home from the Tate, I always wanted my kids to learn about art because going to museums was one of the things I remember loving when I was young and I wanted them to have the same experience with art I had. It was snowing, big flakes of white falling from the sky like feathers covering everything. My window wipers where going as fast as they could to erase the snow but they didn’t go fast enough.”, he took another deep breath, ‘I-I can still hear my you-youngest asking me if we could ma-make a sno-snowman once we were home.”, his lips were trembling so hard he almost couldn’t speak.

“ I wish I had gotten out of the car right then in the middle of the road and made a big snowman with him, I wish I would’ve known what was going to happen, I wish I could’ve prevented it. Oh hell! I can wish as much as I can nothing can change what happened that day. The car slipped, my wife and 2 oldest children were dead immediately, the youngest was in a coma and I had nothing, not a scratch. The doctors said I was lucky. But I wasn’t I was alone, filled with guilt and pain. The two nights after that I spent next to my remaining son’s bed, praying that he would wake, praying that I would see his bright blue orbs once again. But praying didn’t help he died anyway. God left me, alone and broken. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened when I would’ve listened to the weatherman and stayed in, where I would be then. Maybe then I would be at home now cuddling with my wife while watching the notebook for the twentieth time, hoping, praying that that day would never come.”

By now the tears were streaming down the man’s face and I really felt like hugging him but I was afraid he would brake if I did, he looked so fragile that even words could make him collapse. So we just sat there staring at each other, not wanting to break the all so comforting silence, both in our own thoughts. I think I remember 633 bragging about this, it makes me puke that one of us did this, it makes me sick that this is our job: making people feel miserable. Once again my curiosity had brought me more trouble than I wanted it to. How can I go back to my job after what this man had to go through because of it, what’s so honourable about breaking someone, tearing him apart from the inside. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Louis approaching the table, that I didn’t notice Louis’ signature was now yellow and… red, red the colour of love. Maybe if I did then the story could’ve ended different, maybe then I would’ve gone away before it was too late, maybe then we would’ve been saved, both of us.

But I didn’t

A/N~ sorry it’s short and crappy. I just wanted to update because it was so long ago since I did and I didn’t want you to think I stopped updating.

Bye pumpkins!!!

 

 

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