Sincerely Yours


4. Things get worse


I practically had to carry Nick up to his place, where I lay him down on the couch. 

"Fucking retard" I called myself. That was my chance to run and I didn't even take it. Nick stood up and took his time checking me out.

"Youuuurrr looking fiiineee" He said slurring his words. He put his arms around me. I tried to move them, but when I did he threw me on the couch and straddled me. He took off his shirt and now I knew where this was going.

I tired with every ounce of energy I had to try and get away. I did for a little bit.

"Stop!" He kept yelling at me. I was just strong enough to roll off of the couch. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I locked the door. Seconds later Nick started banging on it.

"You'll have to come out of there some time" He said. I heard him slide down the bathroom door.

I took off the dress and put on some shorts and a t shirt. I sat on the floor with nothing to do. I could hear Nick quietly laughing outside of the door. I started to cry. I never asked for this I didn't know this is who he was. This wasn't the Nick I met at college this was someone different. I looked through everything in that bathroom. I opened the shower curtain to see a razor sitting on the edge. 

I picked it up and walked over to the sink. I've heard of stories like this. Of girls who hit a vein. Who died. But then again I hear how good it felt afterwards. Maybe if I was careful enough....

I slit my wrists. Just under where the bruises where. I watched the blood fall as a new pain entered me. But this one wasn't as bad. I liked this. I liked it a lot. I forgot about Nick as I watched the blood drip down the drain. I didn't hit a vein. I didn't die. And It just felt so good. I washed the blood off of the razor and down the drain. Then I put the razor back. I fell asleep right there on the floor. For once, carefree.

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