Fix A Heart

Arden isn't your average 16yr old. She has a horrible reputation. No one understands her. No one knows the real story, and she's here to tell it. How everything really is and not what other people think. This story is different than a lot of movellas out there. So, I invite you to read and listen to Arden and how her world is flipped upside down and with every turn, there's a new, not so great, path. This story reminds you never to judge a book by it's cover and how actions speak louder than words. WARNING: This movella is rated red so it says 16+

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9. Secrets

    Arden's POV: The longer keep my "stash" from Jesse, the better because he'll throw it all out. He desperately wants me to get out of my nasty habits, but it's just too hard for me to commit. Drugs and alcohol especially have always been my escape from reality. I feel free and away from everyone else, not that anyone was ever there to begin with. I do, however, hate keeping secrets from Jesse. We've been friends now for months and things really have been better at school with Mike and his duo. He's stuck by my side regardless of what I've done-what he doesn't know I'm still continuing. Reed stops by and hides my purchases behind a bush in the front yard, the bush that I find myself checking daily. 

    I hear my screamo blast as my alarm goes off. Now that my dad is gone and doesn't seem to be coming back, I no longer have to use my headphones to hear my alarms. I roll out of bed and turn the music down as I grab a clean towel to go shower. As I peel off my pajamas I see my scarred arm where I got out of control just weeks ago. When Jesse found me passed out. I shake the memory as I hop in the shower, letting the hot steam run over my body. It's a refreshing feeling not having any more bruises to be distracted by. I take my time, waking up earlier than usual, so I can look somewhat presentable for picture day. One of the many school days that I dread. I decide to curl my hair and add my usual full eye makeup. For clothes I'm not sure what to do. I don't have anything extravagant or new so I settle on some worn out jeans along with a collared blue button down shirt.  I take a look at myself in the mirror and I'm actually pleased with my appearance. I grab my phone from my bed, allowing my long curls to fall over my shoulders. 

   Jesse's POV:   A smile spreads across my face as I receive a picture from Arden. Her smile is bigger than ever. She looks stunning. I spray some cologne before leaving to pick her up. I have a car but I choose not to use it, enjoying the long walks I share with her. Arden doesn't know a lot about me, not even my family.  Today I'd tell her about my past, as she told me hers. She may resent me for it, but that's expected. When I walk up to her front door she walks out, backpack on one shoulder. 

"Looking good Jess."

"Not as stunning as you Arden." She playfully shoves me before we start our long walk to school. 

"So, you've probably noticed how I never told you about my past or even my family", I start. She raises an eyebrow, clearly interested.

"Yeah I've noticed." As we continue to school, I think of the right way to tell her. Without making myself come off as a complete douche.

"I don't have much family either. My mom is my only immediate family. I used to have a dad and a little brother.." I trail off, remembering Kyle and my dad. 

"T-They were out fishing and an unexpected storm came out of nowhere. All we were told was they were tossed from the boat by the strong current. They were never found. Kyle was only six." Arden grabs my big hand in her smaller one, squeezing tightly. I decide to just continue.

"I-I was so mad-confused. I'd get angry so quickly. I had a girlfriend at the time and found myself only u-using her-" I pause, disgusted with myself. 

"Using her to get my mind off the losses. She thought I loved her-but I couldn't commit. I did that a lot more after we split. Sleeping around with willing girls-I could care less about them over time. My mom became very worried about me because I'd avoid actually seeing her and spending time with her.." Guilt fills me. Arden still squeezes my hand, trying to reassure me. 

"I was pissed at her-furious because she told me we had to move on and couldn't dwell on the past. Soon after, she found out she was pregnant. She's was so excited when telling me." Arden sits on the side of the road and motions for me to sit beside her. She's stayed quiet this entire time, listening to my whole story just as I did when she told hers. I feel relief run through me when she speaks up.

"How long ago was all this?", She quietly asks. It hasn't been long at all. 

"Almost six and a half months." Her mouth forms an O shape as she nods.

"And you're mom-are you closer since the move?" I look over to her as a small grin forms on my face. 

"After she told me she was pregnant, I resented her for weeks. I regret that more than anything. This baby being a legacy of my dad. I didn't come around until the first ultrasound. Actually seeing the baby made me realize how I had really screwed up with her and everybody. Moving only seemed right-new start." She gently glides her fingers over arm.

"How is she-with the pregnancy and all?" I stare into her beautiful blue eyes as she stares into my green ones. 

"She amazing. She has that "glow" to her that you hear about with pregnant women." Arden smiles while hearing this. I know she misses her mother more than anything. 

    Arden's POV:   Hearing how much he resented his mom hurt me. I know I'd give anything to have my mom back. But as he continued, I realized he knew he had messed up and changed. He always seemed like he had the perfect life, but on the outside looking in can be deceiving. We both have had hard times and we've both messed up. We sit just looking at each other before he speaks up, breaking the silence.

"I was scared you'd think I'm a complete douche-considering everything."

"No, I-I don't. I'm glad you're open to telling me."

"Well, I kind of owed you an explanation."

"Is that everything?" Curiosity getting the better of me. He gives a wide grin before answering.

"I have a car-but I'd rather just walk with you." I laugh at his confession before he helps me up so we won't be late for school. I can't help but feel guilt when remembering my hidden stash. I grab hold of his hand before continuing the walk. 

"I-I need to tell you something-just so you'll know."

"I'm listening."

"Remember how I wasn't getting drugs or alcohol for a while?"

"Yeah."

"Well I've been supplied for a while now.." His face is not one of anger neither sadness but one of disappointment. I stare at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

"Arden.."

"I can't stop Jess-I can't."

"If you'd let me help you-get you help-"

"I don't need a stranger jotting down my problems and issues on a piece of paper", I say annoyingly.

"I just don't want you to get sick-get hurt-"

"Can we just drop it. I told you out of guilt but now I'm regretting it." I look up as he takes a deep breath.

"Fair enough, now let's get to school before we get in trouble." He offers his hand and I willingly take it as we walk the rest of the way in silence. 

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