Fix A Heart

Arden isn't your average 16yr old. She has a horrible reputation. No one understands her. No one knows the real story, and she's here to tell it. How everything really is and not what other people think. This story is different than a lot of movellas out there. So, I invite you to read and listen to Arden and how her world is flipped upside down and with every turn, there's a new, not so great, path. This story reminds you never to judge a book by it's cover and how actions speak louder than words. WARNING: This movella is rated red so it says 16+

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3. A Glimpse Of Hell

    School as started again. I'm actually wanting to go back to all the bullies there. It's a hell of a lot better than being stuck at home for Fall break. I got abused to a scary extreme. Long story short, I tried yet another failed attempt of suicide. I wake up to rap blasting in my ears. I quickly remove my headphones and jump in the shower. I have to use headphones so my alarms won't wake up my dad earlier than needed. I also have to hurry and get out of the house before he does wake up for work. Thank God he works. He's a lawyer believe it or not. He doesnt get much work anymore though. I actually don't think he does any work anymore considering we lost our old house and have to live in this tny one. It's an old house too. It's one of those creepy ones with all the weird sounds and what not. I guess he pretends to work so he doesn't have to see me too much which is just a bonus for me. I don't have high-tech things. I still use an old, shitty go-phone and for music I still use one of the oldest CD-players. After I shower I throw on some worn out, ripped jeans I've had since I was ten. You can probably picture how tiny I am for that to work out. I've just always been small, which makes it even easier for people to hit me. As for height, I stand at a whopping 5ft. I also add an older school t-shirt with a plain grey hoodie and compact boots. Once I'm dressed I do my regular making, and applying the usal too much eye makeup. I guess I am "emo". I don't have the common bangs that most do but I do have the long hair and actions to be considered one. I grab my phone before heading out for school. No beakfast at home for me. I usually don't ever eat at home if I can help it. As for tranportation, I prefer just walking. Plus my dad only has one car and sure as hell isn't buying me one. I stop by a nearby 7eleven and pick up a sausage and biscuit. I never have to pay. The girl that works morning shifts is Stacie. She used to be a senior at my school before she got pregnant and dropped out. Anyway, she knows I steal so she doesn't even bother with trying to stop me. She does give me strange looks while handing me the food though. I then realize the cuts on my face. I just ignore her and quickly eat before actually walking to school which is a couple of miles from the gas station.

    The sun is almost fully lit in the sky when I arrive. I check the hallway clock and see it's just turning seven thirty. Perfect. There are a few people around but for the most part I'm alone. I scurry to my locker top locker, that I actually use a small stepping stool to reach up to, to get all my books so I don't ever make another trip to my locker until after school. My backpack that I keep in my locker is now beyond heavy and almost throws me backwards. I eep it in my hands while I make one last glimpse of the hallway. No big jocks in site. As I'm about to swing my backpack over my shoulder, I close my locker to find a familiar face. And it's not a happy one. Mike.

"So, so, so. How's it going Arden?" As he says this, his two friends Damion and Greg, block my way out. Mike has always been cocky. He's also been one of the many to rape me. I flinch at his threatening green which are almost covered by his blond hair. Everyone thinks he's attractive but all I see is a douche.

"Please-just let me go to class", I whisper while looking around for any teacher. No luck. I keep my head down, not wanting to meet his frightening eyes.

"I don't think so, bitch." He jerks my head up. I know I'll regret this but I lift up my free hand and slap him in his face as hard as I can. It's rare when I fight back to him since he literally towers over me. I see his surprised expression and I know what's coming. With my face still firmly in his hand, he jerks it away, popping my neck in the process. Then he pushes me to the ground, giving me a solid kick to my ribcage followed by two more given by Damion and Greg. All you heard were thuds and pure contact. I roll on the floor, gripping my sides while trying to hold back tears. I wouldn't be suprised if a couple of my ribs are cracked. When I think he's gone I hear him from down the hall.

"That's what you get slut."

    The bell rings for first period but I stay sitting against the wall holding my knees to my chest. It hurts like hell to even move. Maybe he did crack a rib or two. Eventually I arise and slowly make my way to Alegebra two. I'm at least fifteen minutes late. I walk into class without knocking and immediately take my seat in the back corner. My teacher Mrs Sommers, along with the rest of my teachers, gave up asking for excuses. They usually ignore me like everyone else. I see those same glaring eyes stare back at me, his face one of satisfaction. I look away when he signals a sexual hand motion. He's still proud he raped me right before Fall break. I was walking home from school late one day, successfully avoiding Mike, Greg and Damion. I could hear someone close behind me but I never looked back. When someone grabbed my arm, instinctly I threw a punch. His green eyes looked red and glassy, clearly full of anger. He didn't care that we were out in the open, he took advantage of me right there beside the road. I screamed for help but my cries were muffled by his big hand. It also didn't help that the nearest house was a block away. I knew he had been drinking but also knew he was aware enough to know what he was doing to me. He never told anyone, not even his friends but what only I know is Greg and Damion were the other two guys from school who raped me.

"Mike, turn around and pay attention." Mrs Sommers states and I'm suddenly relieved.

    I'm not good in school, what's the point? Mt life is already screwed over so there's not much hope for me. The bell finally rings for lunch. I haven't eaten in the cafeteria in years. Last time I remember eating there, food was thrown at me while I sat alone. Now I just eat out of the vending machine in the gym lobby. No one ever goes in there until after school. Today I grab two bags of cheddar popcorn and a twix. I take out my water bottle that I always keep with me and refill it from the water fountain before sitting on the concession counter to eat. Lunch is probably the only time I'm fully alone without anybody bothering me. No dad, no Mike, no teachers. The rest of the day drags on but when the final bell rings to end the day, I sat seated in my English class.

"Arden, you aren't leaving?" I stare at my blank sheet of paper in front of me as Mrs Bay asks this. She's the only teacher who even talks to me. I shake my head, not bothering to look up.

"Again?", she adds. I nod my head. When I'm sure I've wasted about ten minutes I pack up my stuff and head for the door.

"I'm always here if you need to talk Arden." I stop as she says this but I don't turn around to face her. I wait a second before continuing out the door.

    The walk home is a cold one. Transitioning into winter is great for me, it's my favorite season. I get out my phone and call Reed.

*Are you still coming Arden? I'm not gonna just wait around for your slow ass when it's this cold.*

"I'm on my way now, I got caught up. Sorry."

*Well hurry up.* I hang up and continue to the gas station. This is where we always deal. It'[s simple and never crowded. We usually just go behind the building for the exchanges. I see Reed's hat from a distance, his black snapback. He turns around to face me, keeping his hands in his pockets. I notice the stubble he's let grow onto his face.

"About damn time."

"You know what hold me up so shut up", I reply while taking out my money. He seems pleased and takes all of it, exchanging three bags of weed along with two bottles of tequila. I open my already full backpack and stuff everything inside.

"So how was school?" He offers me a cigarette and I take it, waiting while he lights it. I guess Reed is the closest thing I have to a friend-if you consider adults in their mid twenties to be "friends". He's the only one who knows my story, he's all I have.

"Hell-as usual", I say while blowing out smoke.

"Things will get better, don't sweat it." I look at him pissed.

"When is it exactly supposed to get better? It's always been this way."

"You'll see. Things will look up enventually."

"Whatever, I have to go."

"Call me when you need more of-you know", he motions his head to my backpack.

"I know, see you later Reed."

"Bye Arden."  

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