Broken Hearts, Shattered Goodbyes

She's been friends with him for a while now... It's 12th grade. Last year.
She cant decide whether she wants to let him go onto the X Factor, she knows it could change both of their lives. Sure, she wants to be a singer too. She wants to be known for something.
But she doesnt like singing in front of people.
Harry begs her to go on with him, but she wont... She cant... Can she?
(One Direction Unfamous, then famous.)


5. Chapter 5

I put my shoes down by the door, on the welcome mat. I heard Harry's pet Hamster running around in his cage and I giggled. Who names their hamser Hamster? I slipped into the living room, seeing Hamster running towards me, knocking into the cage when he got to the edge of it. He retataliated, and did it again. I walked over towards him and unhooked the latch, letting him out. He raced up one of my arms and sat down on my shoulder, I giggled.

I felt the presense of someone else behind me, and turned around, Hamster almost falling off.

"I see you got Hamster out." Harry said, chuckling.

"Yeah." I say, and his face screws up in confusion. His hand reached out, brushing the now-bruied mark on my cheek.

"What happened?" His voice was delacate, light, and caring. I smiled, letting him keep his hand there, even though the bruise hurt. He brushed his thumb over-top of the bruise again, and I winced, grabbing his elbow and pushing it away.

"I hit my head dying my hair... On the corner of the sink. A stupid mistake." I say, and he smiles, brining his hand back up to my face.

"Come on, I do that all the time, you calling me stupid?" He asks, playfully. I nod and he grabs onto my elbow, pulling me closer to him. He pulls me into a tight hug, one that makes it hard to breathe, and pushes me up against the wall. He lets me go out of his death grip and just pins me to the wall, his hips digging into mine.

"Take that back." He says, so close to me. Kissing distance. I shake my head and let the thought fall.

"No." I add playfully. "I wont." I say, which only makes him smile bigger. He pins my arms above my head, playfully telling me to take it back again.

"Shouldnt I be helping you instead of being pinned against the wall?" I say, trying to end this. It was a little awkward. I really think I only see Harry as a friend. I hope.

"Yeah, sure. Come help me." He says, letting me go, and taking a step back. He fixes his long curls over to the right side as always and looks at me, expectantly.

"What?" I ask, smiling. He smiles back, dimples coming into their normal place, deep indents on his perfect skin. I cant help but let out a small giggle.

"Nothing. Come on." He says, taking a step towards his bedroom. I guess I have to help him pick out his clothes? I need to admit one thing, this is awkwardly fun. I dont know why, maybe I do think of Harry as a bit more than a friend. But,. it doesnt matter. We're best friends, and I wont let some petty little crush get in the way of it. I'm not going to tell him, it would make things so awkward.

I forgot all about Hamster, who had fallen onto the floor under Harry's harsh embrace. I looked on the floor wildly for him, seeing him nowhere. I could tell Harry's eyes were on me as he stepped closer.

"I forgot about Hamster. Where'd he go?" I ask, hoping he'd seen his pet. I dont want to make him upset, he's already nervous enough about his live auditions tomorrow.. He shakes his head and begins lifting various items up, checking for his hamster underneath them. I smile cheekily, seeing him lift an apple up and check under it.

"Oh, dang. The hamster wasnt under the apple. Was he in it?" I ask playfully, recieving a very big smile from Harry.

"Just making sure. But, we need to leave soon. It's already 7:20... I just need help with one thing." He says, and we both walk to the bedroom.

I recognise the green and baby blue colours of his room, and the smell. His cologne. There are various beanies on his bed, probably five different ones.

"Help me pick one?" He cheekily asks.

"Really? Uhm, that one." I say, looking at the light gray one  that layed the closest to his pillows, which were all crumpled up from his sleep. He picks up the beanie and places it over his curls. I giggle seeing him struggle with one very obnoxious curl that just doesnt want to go in his hat. I let him try for a minute and then decide to help him, tucking the curl inside his hat.

"You're such a child, Haz." I say and he chuckles.

"I guess that's why my nickname is Haz." He says, and this time, I giggle. "So, to school then? I think the bus will be here soon. I cant drive today. Mum took my car." He says, and I nod. We both walk out, I tell Harry I'd be out in a second, that I just need to get my shoes on, but he insits on staying.

I walk back to my converse and grab one, jamming my foot into it. I cant get my foot into the other one without trouble, and I feel Harry's hand on mine, then he places my hand on hsi shoulder. Leverage. I use it to stand on one foot while I pull the other shoe on. Once it's on, Harry's smile catches my eye.

"Who's the child now?" He asks, and I smile.

"Me." I say, and we both walk out the door this time, both of us children.

Thats what I love about Harry, his impossibly sweet gentleman nature, then there's his cheeky playful side. A lot of people dont get to know the real Harry, and I'm so glad I got the chance to. He's sweet and funny. Many people think he's 'hot' and that sickens me to the stomach. They dont know his personality, but they'd date him because he's cute? Like a girl I know, Kayla, she thinks she can have any guy she wants, but Harry's different. He doesnt like someone for their looks, he judges by their hearts. Their personality, how they treat the people Harry cares about. I sneak a glance over at him, he's watching his feet as he walks, his smile flashes when he sees a butterfly fly by him. I cant help but smile at that. He enjoys nature, but plans on being a big hit. He wants to be famous, and I know he has what it takes, but, I dont see how he'll have any time to stop and live his life. Watch life go by. He tells me not to wish my life away all the time, tells me to live for the moment before it's too late, and I know that's why he's doing this. He wants a thrill to his life, something most people around here cant give him anymore. This place is another stop along his road. On the big tour of his life. The thrill he needs is hidden within the life of a pop-star, getting so much loving attention. Somewhere out there, the girl he needs and wants is waiting, and I cant wait to see how happy he is when he finds her. I mean, people say love is great. It's about having a special relationship with someone that nobody else has. Sure sometime's the people can be shy and quiet in public or in school, but with that one person, they arent afraid to be themseles.

"Hey, do you think I can make it?" I stop thinking by Harry's sudden comment. A question I'm sure we already know the answer to. He justs needs a motivating friend in his time of need.

"I think you'll go so far. I know you will. I'll be watching you from home one day, watching you perform live on... on... the Olypics, yeah. The Olympics." I say, which makes Harry smile, showcasing his beautiful dimples.

"Thanks, but I doubt I'll ever make it that far. I'll be lucky if they take one look at me when I walk in for audtitions and dont go 'ew, get that buffalo out of here.'" Harry says, chuckling.

"Harry, you're going to be huge." I say, and he smiles again. A half-hearted smile this time. "What's wrong?" I could tell by the way he was acting that something was up. He wont be able to hide it from me. It's like my bruise, I can pretend nothing's there, but it's obvious I'm lying.

"Nothing, just, what happens if we get separated?" He asks, and I wasnt quite ready for it. I didnt know how to answer that question, so I just go with whatever my heart would tell me to say.

"Nobody can seperate us. We wouldnt let them." I say, and Harry's smile tells me something different is wrong. "Harry, come on, tell me the real reason why." I ask, I cant stand to see him so upset. For Heaven's sakes, he'll be a popstar in less than 10 weeks. I grab ahold of his hand and he looks up at me. "You can tell me anything." I say, and his smile tells me he might just tell me.

"I just dont want to lose you." He says, and I cant help but feel the butterflies in my stomach. We stop walking, finally reaching the bus-stop. We had maybe five minutes before it would be here. We had time.

"You wont. I'll be there every step of the way. I promise." I say, and I can tell that made him feel better. His smile lit up his face, showing his dimples.

"Really?" He asks, and I nod.

"Really." I say. And then we just wait there, not talking. An awkward silence plays over us and we just stand there. I mean, yeah, I wish we would've talked about something, but we didnt. We just stood there, waiting for the bus to come. Another five minute wait, and the bus was pulling down the road. I could hear some music coming from the bus, and me and Harry looked in amazement at it. That's different. Usually our busdriver wont play music, he just wont. The littler kids already finished school, they just had about a week less time than we did. I dont mind. I like seeing my friends in school.

The bus came to a screeching stop beside us. Harry motioned for me to get on first. I stepped in front of him and walked up the four little steps onto the bus. There were so many other people on there, only one seat left. Me and Harry took the last seat, and the bus driver pulled away and started the last journey to school for us.

It was complete chaos. Music blaring, people screaming, people talking, singing. People texting, playing their own music. I felt like my head would explode. I could tell Harry felt the same way, schooching closer to me to get away from the person by him. I sat on the inisde of the seat, and he took the outside. I placed my head on his shoulder, and a few dorks behind us let out a couple 'oooohhh's' and one of them said 'so Styles finally got a girl?'. We ignored them and just sat there. Harry put his arm around me, pulling me into a hug, The music quieted down as Harry's arm covered my other ear. It felt better knowing I wouldnt blow my eardrums on this cruddy music. It's 20's pop music. Apparently it's 'a blast from a long away past.'. Which, is not true, the songs are toture to listen to. It was more opera than pop, and the people singing the song right now were holding out such a high note that Harry put his hood up and rested his head against my back. My head was leaning against his chest now, and we were completely sheltered from the music. People's stares were becoming noticeable, and I know Harry is only doing this because loud noises remind him of his father's death. Yes, his father died in a huge train wreck. He described it as 'the most horrible noise and painful screaming of any time.'. I bit back tears and held onto Harry. He'd always hated loud noises since then, and I feel so bad.

Then I dont know what happened, I completely lost it. I felt Harry's tears on my shoulder, and I could hear him saying "dad dont leave me.". I stood up, and Harry grabbed onto my waist.

"Will you just shut the damn music off already?!" I yelled at the driver. He nodded, and turned it off. Other kids complained, but if you were to see Harry's face right now, when he's so upset over this, you would've dont the same thing.

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