Where Are You Now?

**Read Love Me Like You Do 15+ before reading.**
When Hannah and Hayley get separated, can they keep their friendship strong? Does Hayley break? Does Hannah break? How could anything go right after they lose contact with the boys, other than Hayley and them.. Hannah has nothing to do with any of the boys... When Hannah has to bring her friends daughter to a One Direction signing, what happens?

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50. I Thought You Said Forever and Always...

Hannah's POV

I fell asleep when Niall held me close last night, I felt so secure. But, I had the same nightmare about me going back to my old ways. I woke up breathing deep, like I was under water and I couldn't find a way out. It was terrible. I didn't want to wake Niall up, it was only 2 a.m. I went down the stairs pretty quietly, I needed some tea or something. When I got to the kitchen, Harry was on the phone. When he turned around he saw me and looked mortified.

"I'm sorry, I was leaving."-Me.

"It's fine. I was about to make some tea, do you want some?"-Harry. I nodded and he hung up his phone. I sat down in the living room thinking about everything that happened in my dream. In my dream I tried to kill myself.. That's really all I remember, but I know that when I looked down, before I did it, I was pencil thin. Like I was when I was with.. Him. I had a razor in my hand, but I woke up before anything happened in my dream. I was looking out into the dark. Harry grabbed my shoulder, I jumped like a billion feet in the air. 

"Hannah, you scared me."-Harry.

"I...I..I'm so..sorry."-Me.

"What's wrong?"-Harry.

"It doesn't matter."-Me. Then I tried to force a fake smile, but he saw through it.

"I can see through your fake smile, what's going on?"-Harry.

"Nothing."-Me.

"It has to be something, you don't just get up at 2 o'clock in the morning and freak out when I touch you without you being upset or scared about something."-Harry.

"I know. It was just a nightmare, I'll be fine."-Me.

"What was the nightmare about?"-Harry.

"It's not a big deal."-Me.

"Just tell me and I will drop it."-Harry.

"Me going back to my old ways..."-Me.

"Oh. I won't let that happen. I care about you too much to let something that bad happen again. I will stop it. It won't happen. It can't happen. Too many people love and care about you. No. Don't worry about it happening."-Harry. Too bad he hasn't checked Twitter, to see how much hate I was getting. I have been hiding my feelings and bottling them up, but I know I'll crack one day. Probably soon too.

"It's not that though. I was going to kill myself in my dream Harry."-Me.

"What? Why would you have a dream about that?"-Harry.

"I honestly don't know."-Me.

"Have you thought about it?'-Harry.

"Not lately."-Me.

"Not lately?"-Harry.

"I told you about it before, I used to want to end it, remember?''-Me.

"Yeah, but I thought it was over."-Harry.

"Me too. I wish it was over."-Me.

"How can I help?'-Harry.

"It's not something that you can prevent."-Me.

"Well, I sure as hell will try."-Harry.

"I have been."-Me.

"You have been looking so.. tired and dull lately. And I hate it."-Harry.

"I know. I haven't been able to sleep a full night sleep."-Me.

"Lay down."-Harry.

"Huh?"-Me.

"Lay down. You are going to sleep."-Harry.

"You have to call that person back."-Me.

"She's not important."-Harry.

"She? Call her back. Now."-Me.

"No. You are so much more important, It's fine."-Harry.

"I don't want you to regret it though."-Me.

"I could never regret something that has to do with you."-Harry.

"Thanks.."-Me.

"Always. Now lay down and go to sleep."-Harry. I nodded and layed at the end of the couch, with my feet on his lap. For once, I didn't have a nightmare, I actually had a nice sleep.

 

Harry's POV

How can Niall not see how broken she looks? Even though she doesn't want to admit it, she is going to break, and I hate it. No one is noticing, it makes no sense. When she looks at someone, she has no life in her eyes. Her dream is really getting to her. When she was telling me about it, I couldn't help but feel protective over her. When she came in the kitchen, I turned around and just saw her standing there, she looked so tired. I was talking to this new girl I was talking to, Victoria. But, I hung up on her, mid sentence. I had to see if Hannah was okay. I can't sleep, I have to see if she wakes up again. Even though she's sleeping, she looks so torn. I wonder what's going on with her. I took my phone and went on Twitter, there was pictures of Hannah and Zayn everywhere. I know there is nothing going on between them, but the hate she was getting, was terrible.(Listen to Breathe Me by Sia while reading this til the end. On repeat. It makes it 10 times more emotional) I wonder if this has any impact on the way she's been feeling. She never really checks Twitter recently, which is a good thing. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't. The "fans" were being terrible. How can they do that? They are calling her fat, ugly, whore, skank.. What goes through their heads? They don't even know her. She's a model, how is she fat or ugly? People are fucked up these days. They really are. I guess I have been up for a while, cause Hannah burst right up, breathing heavily. She just broke down crying. I grabbed her and pulled her in my lap. I continued to shh her and rub her back, telling her everything is okay. She was sobbing so violently. It was horrible. It broke my heart.

"What's going on?"-Me.

"i... I.. I'm.. go.... go... going.... t..to..."-Hannah.

"Going to what?"-Me.

"My.. D.. dre... dream.."-Hannah.

"Please, stop."-Me.

"It's... Go.. goin... to.. hap...happen..."-Hannah.

"Don't say that Hannah."-Me.

"HARRY! IN MY FUCKING DREAM, I KILLED MYSELF AND NO ONE CARED!"-Hannah. She continued to cry and I have to admit, I shed a couple of tears.

"Everyone would care."-Me. Once she was done crying,  she took my phone to look at the time, but Twitter was still up.

"Oh my God."-Hannah.

"What?'-Me.

"Oh, yeah Harry. Everyone will care huh?"-Hannah.

"Oh. They don't count babe."-Me.

"No. They do. Wanna hear my favorite one?"-Hannah.

"Hannah. Stop."-Me.

"No. Listen. Hannah is the biggest, fattest slut ever. She should kill herself and no one would even care.."-Hannah.

"Enough!"-Me.

"NO! THIS IS WHY I SHOULD JUST FUCKING DIE AND MAYBE THEY'LL STOP!"-Hannah. By that comment, everyone was downstairs and exchanging confused looks. 

"Wanna hear another one? Since everyone would care?"-Hannah.

"No. You have read enough."-Me.

"No I don't think I have, this one says that I deserve nothing."-Hannah. I took my phone and threw it as far as I could away from her. It smashed into something and probably broke the screen and everything. 

"Stop!"-Me.

"No. It's true. I'm useless."-Hannah.

"Babe, stop."-Niall. He was already in tears. This boy loves her, I can tell. But so don't I. I hate seeing her like this. I know Niall does too, but he hasn't noticed her looking broken? Her fake smiles? It doesn't take much to notice it.

"No. You don't understand."-Hannah.

"Please, don't be like this."-Zayn. What? Where did that come from? Hannah just gave him a dirty look.

"Hannah, come talk to me."-Hayley.

"No. I don't want to talk anymore."-Hannah.

"Come talk to me then."-Niall. She went to stand up to get to him, but she started wobbling and started falling, I grabbed her and she fell into my arms.

"How long has it been since you ate?"-Me. She shrugged her shoulders. 

"I have been eating."-Hannah. I nodded, but I wasn't too sure. 

"She has been eating regularly."-Niall. At least he's been making sure of that. Niall walked over and took Hannah from my arms. When he took her upstairs, everyone looked at me.

"What happened?!"-Hayley.

"I honestly have no explaination."-Me.

"What did she mean when she said she should die?!"-Louis.

"She has been getting hate on Twitter."-Me.

"About?"-Louis.

"Her and Zayn having a thing. Her being called terrible names."-Me.

"Me and her?'-Zayn.

"Yes."-Me. Then Zayn ran up the stairs, Hayley ran after him.

"What's his deal?"-Me.

"Nothing. Just upset, like everyone else."-Liam.

"I'm going to make Hannah some tea, anyone want some?'-Louis. I nodded and so did Liam. Louis disappeared into the kitchen. I hate this. I hate not being able to comfort Hannah. I hate not being able to call her mine. I hate not being able to hold her close when she's sad. But, most of all, I hate her being with Niall and not me. Next thing I heard was Hannah scream.

"FOREVER AND ALWAYS MY ASS!" Then a door slammed. Niall ran down the stairs.

"HELP! HANNAH LOCKED HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM!"-Niall.

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